Am I overreacting?

[OpalFox]

Me and partner had a lovely meal with our 3 year old. Put her to bed. We stayed up watched telly. Went to bed watched some more telly. I fell asleep about half 11. I've woken up and bf has gone to the pub no note or text. I know this because done it before. I think it's wrong but need to be told if it's normal and if it is I need to try and get over it and not get upse

Yes. Overreaction. You went asleep. You know where he is. What's the big deal?

You are not overreacting. His behavior is irresponsible and disrespectful. You need to set some boundaries.

.

Doesn’t it depend on what your unique set of boundaries are between you in your relationship? Does he think it’s ok?

Yes, he thinks it's absolutely fine.

I have really tried to set boundaries but he isn't interested he think there is nothing wrong in doing it.

What is wrong?

11.30 is pretty late for a solo pub visit?

Not letting me know. I maybe wouldn't mind if we didn't have children. If most people's views are the same as yours then I need to work on myself.

No. Darling. That's not ok. That the father of your child has buggered off.

No.

Why would it be?

I personally wouldn't like it. But I think the issue here is that you don't like it and he doesn't seem to care. What is the big deal about leaving a note that he's going somewhere? And the elephant in the room is how do you know he's actually in the pub?

I put no note or text. Well that is true. I don't truly know where he's gone or what he's doing.

I'd hate this. You both have joint parenting responsibilities right now and you were asleep, not even knowing you were the only adult in the house. I'd also hate not knowing where he was and if he was ok. I'm very relaxed generally about comings and goings and timings etc., but this would really bother me.

Your dh hasn't gone missing. He is at pub you wrote

Had he actually gone to bed with you?Wherever he is he slipped out of the house while you and dcs were asleep.
Not good form in my book.

Do pubs even stay open much later than half eleven? Most I've been to are closing up towards midnight at the latest.

I was wondering that as well.

I don't think it's right. It would take only a minute to leave you a note. It's all about respect and consideration.

You’re not overreacting. The only person suggesting that you are is the first poster, who has repeated themselves.

it’s very odd behaviour. And his ignoring your objections is not OK either.

I’d guess this isn’t the only time he behaves shittily?

Yes he had.

No it isn't the first time. I thought I might be overacting every time so I needed to finally try and put my mind to rest either way.

So both of you went to bed and you've woke to him up and away out
That is odd, I'd be doubting it's the pub.

Not cool at all?!!

Confused about the pub's opening hours

Very weird, but in principle I wouldn’t mind my OH going to the pub if I was in bed anyway. Odd to go at that time of night though.