Who decides on split of assets and what's in the best interest of the children when a couple separates?

[YouBetterYouBetterYouBet]

Not married so no divorce and no family law protection.

We don't agree on very much at all.

Our circumstances are very different, there's a huge disparity between us regarding earnings, pension and time spent with the children.

Where can I get advice?

Mediation was unsuccessful and I can't afford to rack up a huge legal bill.

There isn't no legal way, but it requires complex, often expensive applications for a court order and there's no guarantee of success.

It's the simplified version.
A TOLATA case would be very costly to fight so in practice it's best to accept the 50% share instead of trying to fight for more.
however, the link I shared does include much more detailed information about the nuances of the law and OP's options.

He got me pregnant without my permission. I don't want to say anymore.

Thanks again everyone.

Ok. You don't have to say more but do look into your options for legal aid.

@melonwalruswrestling there doesn’t need to be ‘millions’ lying around to make a schedule 1 claim.

if the father is suitably housed renting, and the OP is the main carer and would otherwise not be able to suitably house the children unless she can stay in the house, it’s entirely feasible the house could be held on trust for the children until they turn 18 and then the property is sold and proceeds divided and the father gets his interest then.

I'm so sorry he did that to you, OP

If you haven't done this yet, please contact the national DA helpline and/or your local women's aid or equivalent: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/womens-aid-directory/

You might also find it helpline to contact Rights of Women: https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

Millions was being facetious but he isn't suitably housed (OP is complaining about this). Plus it doesn't sound like OP can afford the mortgage.

I'm not going to argue with you on whether it's possible or not - you're a family lawyer and I'm not. But OP doesn't have money for legal fees.

The house is owned by whoever is named on the house deeds. If you are joint tenants you own 50% each, if tenants in common whatever % stated on deeds.

No not arguing at all just it seems to be a misconception schedule 1 claims are only relevant when there’s loads of money kicking about.

if the father is suitably housed for himself and he doesn’t also need to house the children as the main carer then the court could quite feasibly make an order that the house is held on trust for the children. The primary concern is the welfare of the children in a schedule 1 claim, unlike financial orders under the MCA.

there are great books on Amazon about acting in person on family cases. I feel very passionately that finances shouldn’t be an impediment to accessing justice. It can be tough but possible. Only reason I became a lawyer is so I don’t have to pay them 😂

It wasn't meant to be a jibe! Genuinely deferring to you.

Out of interest, who would be expected to pay the mortgage? Assuming the ex-P isn't a crazily high earner, would he be expected to pay the mortgage until the youngest is 18? Or would the OP be expected up pay all/part?

Given your unmarried status, you either buy him out of his half of the house, or you sell and rent (given you say you won’t be able to buy)

The stuff about him parenting differently to you cannot be legislated over. You would need to prove a high level of negligence. Otherwise, he gets to parent as he wishes.

I agree with PP you are focusing on inconsequential details when you should focus on the big stuff.

Sell the house. Tell him contact will be every other weekend plus he can take them out after school one night a week (or something similar) If he doesn’t like it he can take you to court.

So an order wouldn’t necessarily be made to ‘pay the mortgage’ as such but the court can make orders for periodical payments for the benefit of the child, or lump sum order(s) which could then be used to pay the mortgage if that was the only way to secure housing for the child(ren). Bearing in mind of course, the paying parent still retains a financial interest in the property, it’s just delayed until the child reaches majority.

so it would be in their interest to continue to pay towards the mortgage too, assuming it’s not interest only.

property orders and only be made once. Lump
sum and periodical payment orders can be made multiple times.

hard to comment without more detail but that’s the overall gist 🙂

Are you currently paying the mortgage ?

Your ex only has to pay child maintenance so if he’s currently paying half of /all of the mortgage , bills and child maintenance then he can stop paying straight away. (His credit rating will be at risk if he stops paying the mortgage but he may put the whole responsibility on you because he may gamble on you not having enough to move house)

Am assuming not as has been asked by many posters and ignored!

What, 3 times?

Hi OP as others have said the house will be split as per the deeds. It’s very likely that you will have to sell the house and split the equity.

I’m terms of finding somewhere else, your best bet would be to look if there are any shared ownership properties nearby. Also make sure you are claiming benefits that you are entitled to. I believe (although am not 100% sure) that you may be entitled to UC on the rental share of a shared ownership property, if you qualify, so definitely worth looking into.

"I can't afford to house myself and the dc with 50% of the equity."

Well neither can he by the sounds of it!!

Other issues aside you can't sit on all the equity and moan about him renting a small flat!