Would you be upset by this or am I overreacting?

[Brancbabe]

I have 2 sisters, we are all close and close to our mum. Called in to see my mum last night and she said she had made an apple pie if I wanted a piece. I said yes please. Went into the kitchen and there was 3 pies, she said oh I made those 2 for yous sisters and the other one was half eaten between her and my dad. I said oh what about me? And she said what would you need a full apple pie for, I made those for your sister and their husbands, 2 adults. Bear in mine I’m a single mum to 3 kids so there’s definitely other people to eat the dessert in my house too. Sisters have no kids. She said I’m overreacting and I can have the rest of hers. Maybe I am but I just felt hurt at the sight of 2 whole pies made sitting wrapped up lovely for my sisters and me an after thought

Yes, I would be hurt by this.

Very strange behaviour. Are you usually missed out?

That is a really strange and hurtful thing for your mum to do.

Oh my mum does this with Xmas cakes every year - makes one for her and dad and one for my brother and family and one for my grandad when he was alive but never one for me. She usually gives me a wedge off theirs but that’s not the point!

She didn't set out to hurt you. Four pies is a lot to make!

Very odd behaviour. But I suspect this isn’t about you and your sisters. I’d put good money on these apple pies are for the men in her life: her DH and her Son in Law x2. My mum would be like this given half a chance!

Yes, I'd be hurt by this. Very strange she'd be so thoughtless unless it's a 'feeding the men' (ie your sisters' partners) type thing, but still weird and hurtful.

Ner that’s not the point. Three is also a lot to make.

id be miffed too.

Ha ha same thoughts, @Ohcrap082024 !

That is such an odd thing for her to do. I would be upset too. Does she usually favour your two sisters and leave you out?

Then she could have just made one to share. A full pie each for the other sisters is pointed.

What’s that?

It means drip feed. That poster is implying that there is a back story that wasn't included in your original post.

Oh no drip feed but generally I do feel sometimes a bit left out but can’t quite put my finger on. The point about feeding the men in her life did make me think a bit that that could be the case here too

Nope, mean and/or thoughtless of her.

Would she be so mean as to deliberately do that - as in ask you did you want some so you’d go in the kitchen and see the other pies and ask who are they for then obviously get upset then you’d get told you were over reacting? Does she have form for that kind of stuff?

Is she close to your children? Does she disapprove of you being a single parent? I do think it was mean of her particularly as there are more people in your family than in your sisters' families so it doesn't make sense that the pie wouldn't get eaten..

No definitely not. I don’t think she would do that

Exactly and what grandma doesn’t want to treat/feed their grandkids?

Yes very close, helps me out a lot

Yep, the good old “feeding the men”. My Nan was like it and then my mum. I am the youngest of 3 sisters and the only one with a DH/DP. My mum adores DH as if he was her own, beloved son. If she could, she would be making him all sorts of pies, cakes, roast dinners.

Some might see this as generational, but I have also seen similar behaviour in my own friends in the different ways they parent their sons and daughters.

@Brancbabe I don’t think you are wrong to be miffed but try not to take it to heart. This is about her, not you.

Agree it’s a “feeding the men” thing. My older female relatives were like that (although not my mum, thank god.)

As Ladies™️, we only need a sliver of pie, but the menfolk are all Desperate Dans who need whole pies to sustain their manly selves.

If your kids are of pie eating age this is bizarre. My mum would have baked a pie for her grandkids and not the adults!

Yes, I'd find it hurtful. Did you say to her, why would I 'need' it any less, I'm the single one with 3 kids!!

I say 'need' because she asked why you'd need it.