Would you be upset by this or am I overreacting?

[Brancbabe]

I have 2 sisters, we are all close and close to our mum. Called in to see my mum last night and she said she had made an apple pie if I wanted a piece. I said yes please. Went into the kitchen and there was 3 pies, she said oh I made those 2 for yous sisters and the other one was half eaten between her and my dad. I said oh what about me? And she said what would you need a full apple pie for, I made those for your sister and their husbands, 2 adults. Bear in mine I’m a single mum to 3 kids so there’s definitely other people to eat the dessert in my house too. Sisters have no kids. She said I’m overreacting and I can have the rest of hers. Maybe I am but I just felt hurt at the sight of 2 whole pies made sitting wrapped up lovely for my sisters and me an after thought

Strange

Not your response is strange but just that that’s how some people think. I could eat the whole pie myself lol

lol, @AmeliaEarache , so true!

And yes it's interesting, @Ohcrap082024 , I have a (lovely) friend who, when all our kids were younger, in gatherings used to ask the girls to help but not the boys. She is a lawyer so hardly a surrendered wife type!

How old are your kids, OP and do you have any boys? You can bet if/once you've got a burly teen boy, you'll qualify for a pie!

My MIL only offers seconds to the men/boys and serves women and girls about half of what they get.

Because women are watching their weight and men need feeding up. 🙄

Brave of you to admit that on MN, where most people can't even manage a whole sandwich

Ha

Its hard to say without know the back story, she could have just not thought it through - does she do other things like this?

Have a look at triangulation in psychology, my mum and sister both do it, and it drives me mad but understanding it helps me rise above it.

I agree, my MiL's the same and she's in no way tight, we used a to get a pizza for lunch, FiL would get a third, DH a third and me, her and DD would share the remaining third. I'd then find the bin full of wrappers where shed been picking all afternoon 🙄

Yep, I agree with many others here - it’s a feeding/impressing the men thing. The women can just bake their own fucking pies 🙄

It’s annoying and hurtful, I’d be inclined to openly ponder in front of her…”hmm no pie for me, yet ones for x and y. I wonder why you did that mum?”

When you say your mum does a lot for you, maybe she helps you out with the kids and in lots of other ways. If your sisters are childfree, I assume she doesn't give them the same amount of help. So, she makes them pies and the like to compensate. Hope that all makes sense!

Yes possibly

Possibly. I don’t think so, I do reckon it’s more to do with the husband thing.

The darker side?? Because I’m disagreeing that she specifically made them desserts to carve out something special for them? Im disagreeing because I know my mum and I don’t think that’s it. I’m not looking for shadows as you say, how ridiculous. I appreciate your perspective but I don’t think that’s it.

I appreciate the support I get from my mum a lot and she knows that.

like I said I think it’s the men/husband thing and I hadn’t thought of that perspective and that makes sense now it’s pointed out to me

Does she help the others to the same extent?

That is what I’d assume too.

Yes she’s very helpful to everyone

I would be v annoyed!

Thank you

You aren't wrong to be upset, but with the context you have given since, it doesn't sound like it was deliberate, and it sounds like you have a close and loving relationship, so I would try to move on and let it go. Focus on the positives.

This

To be honest, I would have thought she would have made one for you and your kids rather than your sisters and their families, as you're a single mum who may need it more!? Perhaps I'm wrong!