Disrespectful?

[Uncertain007]

Guy im dating was due to meet me for a walk and dinner at 4pm. I'd stay over.
However, due to a change in shifts, his housemate is in today and offered to make dinner for them.
I've been asked to come now at 7pm as it would be cheeky to ask the housemate to cook for 3 people.
I feel disrespected. What's your advice?
I've sent a message saying it's best we leave it until we can have a proper date.

Rude, entitled and unreliable.

He got a better offer and expects you to be flexible around it.
Fuck that. Your time and plans are just as valuable as his.

In general it doesn't bode well to be bumped for plans with someone else. I think if it's early dating it was a fair call to make.

This is about our 10th date

"Don't come for a meal tonight, just turn up later for a shag."

He doesn't even leave his home, does he? Someone's cooking for him, someone else will come round to have sex with him. He's a little emperor!

He just wants to rut. That's all he sees you being good for.

Tell him to permanently bog off.

How's it been been until now?

So cheeky. Wonder if it had worked for him before 😊

I don't like people who change their plans when they get a better offer. After just 10 dates, I'd expect to be higher in his priorities than a home-cooked meal.

Handled perfectly by you I'd say.

So he can’t possibly be ‘cheeky’ to his housemate but it’s absolutely fine to be ‘cheeky’ to you to make sure he still gets his shag?

You’ve done right thing OP. I said in another thread, let them know what we’re not prepared to tolerate right from the start.

Bin him off - you deserve much better. Especially after 10 dates!!

Well done for having self respect !!

I wouldn't be impressed and I think you sent the right response. He could've asked his housemate if you could join them both or offered to take you out for a meal instead if no chance of romantic meal at home due to housemate around. See response and if not great, bin.

He says he can't afford to eat out tonight and still wants to see me. He only found out that his housemate would be home yesterday. We can have a walk and spend time together.

This makes no sense to me. How is his housemate relevant? He can meet you for a walk whenever he finishes his shift and fry an egg or something when you get back to his place.

That's what I was thinking.

Why didn’t he just say to house mate “uncertain007 is coming over for dinner tonight but I can cook for you too”? The just kept plans as they were.

He’s rude and tight you’re right to not go over there tonight. Fine if gems to skint to eat out not fine to bin you off for a free home cooked meal by his house mate

Haha funny. Made me chuckle.

I don't want to be over the top and childish or sarcastic. FYI we've not had full on sex yet and have had some enjoyable days out. As I've met the housemate once and only had 10 dates I don't want to get stroppy over a homecooked meal.

My Date doesn't quite get it...
We had no concrete plans, just to meet up.
Sorry I didn't realise he would be home until yesterday and he's offered to cook. It just means coming a couple of hours later. You can come earlier if you like but I can't really ask housemate to cook for both of us. I'm low on money as I've eaten out a lot recently. I'd like to see you. We can go on a walk

Hmmm?

So you can come earlier if you like and watch them both eat a meal? No, he doesn't get it. And it doesn't matter whether you've had sex yet or not, he has bumped you for the better offer of a free meal. Pretty disrespectful.

Housemate has offered to cook.... Surely he should just say, "no I've got plans with Uncertain007"? And did he not know before now that he was short on money and can't afford to eat out? I'd think that was rude as well

Sounds pretty pathetic. Like he'd rather his housemate cooks him dinner than he sees his potential girlfriend. And to try and imply you might be 'cheeky' for wanting feeding when you've no interest in eating any of the housemates cooking!
Honestly I'd not be keen on someone who behaves that way. It's just bizarre tbh.

He really doesn’t want to give up a free feed does he? 🤣

He doesn’t get it because in his head it’s fine to chop and change plans to his own advantage and to expect you to fall in line. Can’t ask the house mate to cook but can remove the offer of a meal to you? Nah jog on mate!

But he didnt have to accept his house mates offer to cook for him.

He could have politely declined and said his gf is coming around and he's going to cook for you/you're cooking together.

How should I respond to him? I think it's all just going over his head...
"We can still meet but it will just be a couple of hours later due to fitting dinner in"

Why didn’t he just say to house mate “uncertain007 is coming over for dinner tonight but I can cook for you too”?

This too.