Dating a guy who smokes weed

[Quesions]

I don’t know anything about weed
never grew up with it - at school, uni etc
don’t know anyone who smokes it
guy I’ve just started dating smokes 6-8 a day on the weekend - weed and tobacco
he said he smokes after work during the week too

I don’t know if this is a lot and how it would affect your health and life? Obv I know tobacco is addictive and terrible for health

thank you

Never mind his health, it's a class B drug and illegal!

Ugh no, I wouldn't.

Well if nothing else he’s funding the horrible mistreatment of people used in the production.

‘Many illegal cannabis farms in the UK exploit vulnerable individuals, often victims of human trafficking, who are forced to work under harsh and dangerous conditions without pay. These individuals, sometimes including children, are coerced into cultivating or tending to cannabis plants, often with threats of violence or deportation.

Victims are typically brought from countries such as Vietnam or Eastern Europe under false promises of legitimate work, only to be trapped in exploitative situations. They may be kept in poor living conditions, denied freedom of movement, and subjected to physical or emotional abuse. When law enforcement raids these operations, victims are sometimes treated as criminals rather than being recognised as victims of trafficking.’

Sounds like an addict.

I was like you. Never knew anything about weed or other drugs. Found out quickly he smokes it all the time and it turned him into an emotional, reckless, asshole.

I would not recommend continuing this relationship.

Run a million miles away from him.

He will be a narcissistic, know it all, addict. He ll want a weekend maid, chef and sex provider. He ll be cranky and arrogant and everyone else will be wrong.

Many mental health problems are connected to weed usage. Many weed users are complete losers.

Not a chance. It stinks.

Nah, bin him off. It stinks & is antisocial. Smoking regularly like that often causes paranoia and depression. It is a drain on finances and they never give it up.

Personally I wouldn't entertain this. Firstly it's illegal and I wouldn't want to be investing in someone who is doing something that could affect my future stability. Secondly, it can negatively affect people in lots of ways. I know that many people will say it's harmless but I work with a lot of people who smoke what they grow and a lot of them have ended up mentally extremely unwell so for me it seems too connected not to be linked in some way. I also find it increases anxiety in lots of people and can decrease motivation. Then there's the issue of cost and what he's funding. The links with the exploitation of vulnerable children and other crime - he's supporting that by engaging financially with smoking weed given that it's not legal here yet. It's very addictive and it sounds like he needs it every day. I'd guess that what he's told you is a watered down version of how much he actually smokes.

I personally wouldn't want to raise a child with someone who's doing this so I would be cutting my losses.

Value yourself, don't waste your time on him.

Run and don't look back. I've yet to meet a successful stoner. They usually meddle with other things too. There are so many better alternatives out there than a stinking smoker.

Hard no from me. I couldnt cope with the stink!

That sounds like a lot to me.

I have friends who smoke and DP does as well but probs only about 4 times a week, he is a very high energy high achieving person so it doesn’t affect his life.

Every day plus 6 times a day on weekends is too much, I can’t imagine they get anything done.

That's a huge amount. A lot of people can smoke and be highly functioning but as someone who is engaged to someone who smokes and used to smoke most nights after work, it reached a point where I was ready to break up with him. It was just lonely - they're in a different headspace all evening and it felt we had nothing in common anymore. He cut back significantly to twice a week in the evening - just a small spliff before bed. He's highly functioning, a great Dad and supportive partner but I do notice the effects and think the weed detrimentally affects him all the same. He thinks it's hugely important for him in terms of mental health and mental space to process things - I would disagree but each to their own.

I would suggest to you that it's not a path you want to go down.

6-8 a day!! That’s some heavy use going on. He will prioritise spending money on weed over you, any future kids, etc.

Bin him off now he’ll waste your time

I wouldn't date a smoker full stop - no matter what it was that they smoked - but I wouldn't be keen to be involved with someone involved in illegal activity. I have friends in California who have a marijuana business (where it is legal) so I'm not being a priss, it's just a red line for me. Even if it was legal, it stinks and it often makes other people stink, in the way that tobacco smoking does, so no thanks. (I that's before getting into the whole paranoia issue that it can invoke in some users - like my sister and my ex's best friend).

Coming from someone who smoked weed for 15 years every single day.... bin him!!
I never had money because I spent every single spare penny on weed. I never had much energy to do anything. I ended up with deep depression and my mental health suffered greatly.
You won't get much from this relationship OP.
I didn't have any goals or aspirations and I bet he doesn't either.
I'm two years clean of weed and alcohol and now realise how dependent I was on both.

Urgh. If you feel the need to be with someone who smells and makes everything else around them smell, as if they've been rolling around in a filthy cat litter tray, but worse - no offence to cats - then fine. I would not entertain them for a minute. Find someone who doesn't pong. Who won't make every single thing you own, and yourself, pong. You will find yourself sat at work and realising you stink of weed. The financial,and emotional toll on you is a far too heavy price to pay.

Don’t do it. I dated a guy who smoked weed and even after he loss his job he used whatever money he got in benefits to buy weed and eat/socialize. Eventually he was so addicted he had to smoke it before he could do anything and it just got worse. Never again

Eww. It’s a nope from me too.

I know some people think it’s not a big deal but, yeh…it is. Excessive weed smoking can lead to paranoia. Changes in mood. It really stinks. It’s a step into the seedy dark world of drugs and it lines the seedy drug dealers pockets. No thanks.

There are the ethical consumerism issues mentioned above, if that's important to you (personally, I wouldn't date anyone who didn't do their best to shop ethically, fair trade, renewable energy, ethical banking, etc. while being aware we can only do so much practically — but the intention is important), so check, it might be home-grown, after all.

Then there's the fact that it's illegal, if that's important to you (I'm not bothered by people breaking the law per se, as it's the ethical intention that counts for me, but I would still worry about the potential impact of being caught and on our relationship (e.g. if he had weed in your home).

Then there's the effect on him, which will impact your relationship: is he able to function in other areas of life, driving (certainly shouldn't be if he smokes weed regularly) , mood, behaviour.

In my experience, after work and at weekends is a lot and does have an impact on mood and behaviour, even if people who use that much claim those effects are positive.

And also buying illegal drugs is fuelling the county lines where kids are being recruited.
Many of the young kids stabbed nowadays is drug dealing related - personally I wouldn’t want to know anyone I was dating was supporting that dark side of life.

6-8 a day? That's what he told you and it's probably more than that. He's a proper stoner, no thanks.

No!

No!