Kisses text

[roseyn91]

Does it bother you when another woman ends messaging to your husband with kisses when talking about work stuff

I never do this when talking to males at work

Am I overthinking

Recently a lady my oh working with sent three kisses

It annoys me

How would they know if she's like that with everyone?

😂exactly

Can I ask what you mean by this, change? New people?

I ask because honestly this sounds more like either a relationship issue, an insecurity issue on your part, or is he doing something to make you feel this way?

I’m happily married, I trust my husband completely, and so if I happened to see someone from work had sent a few kisses on the end of a message I wouldn’t even think twice about it. I know him, I know the man he is, I know how much he loves and adores me (and vice versa), so those things are just complete non issues.

If you don’t feel that way, if you don’t trust him, then that is the problem you need to address- not the kisses on a colleague’s text message.

If you are feeling uneasy about this particular woman OP I would trust your gut.
Mentionitis plus texting outside working hours plus kisses is possibly the beginnings of something to worry about.
Keep on the alert for behaviour changes etc.

The kisses aren’t the issue here. The issue is you’re already feeling uneasy at her being mentioned a few times which is indicating something more.

The kisses on their own are not an issue, I’ve just checked back through my WhatsApp’s and 95% have kisses. It does depend on your industry as well. In both of my careers this is the norm not the exception.

But if you’re uneasy about their connection that’s a much bigger issue.

I accidentally did this just yesterday 😳

I did immediately corrected myself. It’s like calling your teacher “mum”. it’s so humiliating 😂

@roseyn91 "You sound like you don't answer questions asked just want to make a point?
What's up
Have you had a bad day"

I answered your question in my first post, when I said that I'd struggle to get wound up by a couple of kisses at the end of a text to my partner from a work colleague, unless there was some reason not to trust my partner.

I WOULD be wound up by my partner sneakily reading my texts and creating a drama in her head about what she read - which sounds perfectly innocent.

There's a saying: don't go looking for trouble, trouble will find you.

If you don't trust him, leave him. If you're just looking for trouble, have a think about why that is.

I’d definitely be annoyed at 3 kisses. One or two could be seen as natural punctuation, 3 is veering on over-familiar,

I mean, I wouldn’t love one to two, but understand how people might accidentally or automatically type one or two. 3 feels more deliberate!

Thanks
You are right
I stand corrected

Is there a general code/rule on the amount of kisses? For example, would people see a single X as generally friendly but 3 as a bit much?

I think this is about more than the kisses really.

What's your relationship like apart from this OP?

Some people put kisses on every message

Some never

It's a pixel cross that's it.

No it wouldn't bother me

How is it different from how they greet each other in person, that would be my thought. If they are tactile in the workplace it's just the same thing. I have colleagues I hug, some I kiss and some I just say morning to or shake hands, I would behave the same in writing. ( Hug ) Xxx 🤝

This could be me!

I rarely send x on a work message unless it is to a female colleague. For example when I returned to work after bereavement and people asked how I was, I replied thanking them and added a x to some females that I’m closer to. Same replies to male colleagues but definitely no x at the end.

Except today I accidentally added xx on a message to a male colleague. Total accident. I thought about saying oops or editing the message and saying I did not mean to send xx, but I thought it would make it into a bigger thing. I genuinely am mortified!

I am pretty sure it is the only message I have ever sent to any male colleague with this. So if this was me there is truly no concern, it was an accident.

Good overall but did go through a rough patch few years ago where he was going to leave marriage.
It was a shock and totally unexpected and gave me ptsd which I know sounds pathetic but it was a really traumatic time and I just wait for it to happen again. Never 100 percent confident. He was the last person I would have thought would hurt me and say things that destroyed my self esteem. He was my rock and then I was going be gone.
He had a female friend back then who is still in his life now through work who I feel he was too friendly with as they hid outings from me until I accidentally found out and on confronting him I was going to be dumped after a thirty year relationship. A week later he said it was a mistake but my heart broke as some things were said by him which erased my confidence.

There's a woman in work who does this to me. (I'm male)

I can absolutely promise you she's not remotely interested in me, it's just how she communicates with everyone.

That would definitely annoy me, I'd never ever do that to a male colleague and never to a female colleague except on a leaving card maybe

I find it weird that people end any messages with kisses! Why do people do it? If you were chatting to someone you wouldn't kiss them at the end of every comment. I only add an "x" or few when I'm actually trying to send a kiss via message. That would never be in a work communication!

I sent my sons football WhatsApp group a message ending with kisses by acccident. 😩
Automatic.

It's certainly not a "normal part of punctuation" in work emails as previous posters have suggested. Occasionally I might add one or maybe 2 kisses to a female colleague that I know pretty well and who has, for example, done me a big favour. Never to a male colleague though.

Yes this. Three isn’t a typo is it?

This is totally fundamental to how you’re feeling now. This previous experience is completely feeding into your feelings now. It’s totally understandable. I totally feel for you. What an awful time to have to go through. what a twat! I suspect you’re now on high alert thinking ‘here we go again’ ?
What you’ve described sounds awful. He sounds like he has form for this.
I suspect you’ve already had the conversation in your head about ‘what if I bring up this woman and the fact I feel uneasy’ ….and I suspect that your past experiences might make you afraid to?
My advice would be keep a watching brief on this while focussing on looking after yourself.

I really couldn't get annoyed about it. There's a woman in my office who's always ending her messages with xxxxxx or 🥰 and she's just one of those people. She'd describe herself as "bubbly" yaknow? It's whatever.

But then again I trust my husband and he has never done anything to make me doubt his loyalty - whereas yours has. I think that changes things a bit because your trust in him has already been damaged, so you're going to be on higher alert for any signs of him doing it again.

I don't send male colleagues texts - they go on a group chat for this reason.

There is three women and three men on the chat.