My husband is having an affair with the woman who does our laundry

[flowersintheattics]

Basically that. We had the luxury of being able to pay a laundrette to do our washing and it was his job to drop it off and pick up, a few months ago he mentioned in passing the new ugiy woman with the tattoos who started working there and overcharging him. Never thought anything else about it until tonight when we were coming home from Tesco and needed to pick up the washing so I jumped out of the car and went in to collect, she's was fucking stunning, small petite (heavily tattoo'd) Thai woman. I came out after picking up the washing and said I thought you said she was ugly you liar she's gorgeous and very nice! He got all defensive and alarm bells stating ringing and I knew something was off with him. He confessed everything. They had been sleeping with each other for months when he said he was at work. I'm absolutely shattered. Our marriage was perfect. Please please please what do I next?? I've shouted and screamed and threw him out. He's probably with her now. My heart is broken.

So sorry OP, and we'll done for kicking him out without doing the pick me dance. A tough road ahead but I hope your determined attitude will help you through.

Nothing do with the OP as such - but how to do people from Thailand and Vietnam end up in the UK? Unless they are on a Student visa or a spouse of a UK citizen, is there any other route available to them? I mean people that have come here in the past 20 odd years, not 50's to 80's immigration.

@flowersintheattics, has he seemed distanced from you in any way recently?

It really is mind-boggling that he has been slipping upstairs at the laundrette. I wonder how many other men are being entertained up there and how much money he has spent on her.

This is a hugely selfish and entitled man. Have you heard from him?

So sorry to hear this. I'll never ever understand the mentality of people who would risk a happy marriage and family life for a cheap lay.
It is simply beyond me.

Vietnamese boat people - we took alot in as refugees.

I’m getting a vibe that this post is a send up.
OP hasn’t come back to us.
I dunno, but others have invested in this one but I’m sorry but I’m not sure about it.
If it’s true then we need to keep up the support when she does update us. I hope she’s ok?

Not so in East Asia. They would make you unemployable in some countries. Huge continent, Asia - best not to generalise.

I’ve been thinking of you, @flowersintheattics.

Has your H shown his face or communicated with you today?

Yes she has several times

@NoOffButton

well, there's a surprise!

OP
It's very unusual to find a thread where a husband has suddenly just admitted to shagging the Thai lady at the launderette.
Usually there's a bit of a struggle to get them to admit it.
That might be why posters are a bit less supportive than you might expect.

What were they seeking refuge from?
Shall Google this.

Rinse him OP.

Seriously though good luck, that is absolutely awful.

Take care of yourself

I have replied to loads of comments on here but they seem to have disappeared.

This is true remember late 70s we had an influx of girls in our school, ( all girls school ) and extra teachers and interpreters, I found it interesting learning a new language or trying too, us older girls were given responsibilities to support , help, encourage, made some lovely longlife friends ,

That is really odd,@flowersintheattics. The last comment that I see (besides the one above) is your stating that you don’t do laundry at home.

How are you doing today?

For my city the Vietnamese boat people come in late 80's, early 90's. So when I started school mid 90's we has several Vietnamese kids and those of vietnamese decent in each class. Their birthday parties were the best. They were the only families with a deep frier and for us they'd make french fries at home and it was the greatest thing ever.

Post Vietnam War refugee immigration continued till early 90's. One of my best friends was born on the way at their first stop in Malaysia and then they continues with boats to Europe.

Your marriage wasn't perfect it was an illusion. You need to see a solicitor. Don't be embarrassed to tell your friends because they can help you through it. You might need to sell the house and downsize.

Sorry I haven't been updating. Everything is really up in the air atm. Turns out shes actually been entertaining lots of men. When she found out I know about their disgusting carry on shes decided she doesn't want any type of serious relationship and now the scum bag has tried to come crawling back.

Don't take him back. Not even for one night. Don't let him in for half an hour even. Please, for your children and your self respect. Keep your anger hot and keep your self preservation front and centre, you deserve 100% better than this scab of a man!

Your future with your children starts now. Fuck him, he chose to do this to you.

So he is indeed one of many. Laundry + extras. Does she charge for the extras?

@flowersintheattics, you would be very foolish to let him return. Having an affair with the woman who does the family laundry is egregious on many levels. Knowing that he felt validated by making a mockery of you and the children for illicit sex and thrills is revolting. He even put you in the position of unknowingly smiling at and chatting with his mistress. And of course jeopardizing your health is unforgivable.

If he hadn’t stupidly called her the ‘ugly woman’, you’d be none the wiser and he’d still be shagging her. I am cringing that he actually believed she wanted an exclusive relationship with him.

@flowersintheattics, this opportunistic, morally bankrupt man is a very poor candidate for successful reconciliation.

What did you say when he wanted to slither back in?

Thank you for the replies. I have no intention of taking him back. I just can't believe what my life has turned out like i am absolutely heartbroken. There were zero signs of any kind of cheating. He was still loving and kind and we had sex 3-4 times a week. Planning trips away and more future children. It's very much come out of the blue and I can't get my head round it.

@flowersintheattics if you were having regular sex then you need at sti test as she was sleeping with other men as well as your H.