Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband is having an affair with the woman who does our laundry

80 replies

flowersintheattics · 01/10/2024 21:13

Basically that. We had the luxury of being able to pay a laundrette to do our washing and it was his job to drop it off and pick up, a few months ago he mentioned in passing the new ugiy woman with the tattoos who started working there and overcharging him. Never thought anything else about it until tonight when we were coming home from Tesco and needed to pick up the washing so I jumped out of the car and went in to collect, she's was fucking stunning, small petite (heavily tattoo'd) Thai woman. I came out after picking up the washing and said I thought you said she was ugly you liar she's gorgeous and very nice! He got all defensive and alarm bells stating ringing and I knew something was off with him. He confessed everything. They had been sleeping with each other for months when he said he was at work. I'm absolutely shattered. Our marriage was perfect. Please please please what do I next?? I've shouted and screamed and threw him out. He's probably with her now. My heart is broken.

OP posts:
BrainLife · 02/10/2024 07:11

NoOffButton · 02/10/2024 07:11

OP has not commented once on their own thread 🤔

Because it's not real

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:15

Well, bit odd that a laundry person is involved given the quality of home washing machines...

Dpresst · 02/10/2024 07:19

What did you type into chatGPT to get this story?

OhshutupSimonyounobhead · 02/10/2024 07:20

BrainLife · 02/10/2024 07:11

Because it's not real

Show quote history

Yeah this!

HellsBalls · 02/10/2024 07:21

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:15

Well, bit odd that a laundry person is involved given the quality of home washing machines...

I’ve never seen a washing machine that can press shirts, blouses and trousers.

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:21

Unless the OP is not UK. If the OP is actually in Thailand, laundry people are common as houses/condominiums aren't often kitted out with a washing machine. The same is true of ovens (much to my husband's horror!). If the OP is UK, yes - it's a tad odd.

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:23

HellsBalls · 02/10/2024 07:21

I’ve never seen a washing machine that can press shirts, blouses and trousers.

Show quote history

Point made - I hate ironing! 🤔

Rewis · 02/10/2024 07:27

new ugiy woman with the tattoos who started working there and overcharging him.

It is already a red flag to refer to someone as ugly for no reason. And could it be that he's paying her and was trying to cover his own ass by claiming she's overcharging laundry?

CandyLeBonBon · 02/10/2024 07:28

Dpresst · 02/10/2024 07:19

What did you type into chatGPT to get this story?

Blush
Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:36

Rewis · 02/10/2024 07:27

new ugiy woman with the tattoos who started working there and overcharging him.

It is already a red flag to refer to someone as ugly for no reason. And could it be that he's paying her and was trying to cover his own ass by claiming she's overcharging laundry?

This is actually a good point. The norm would be to say: "A new person works there who over-charged me" not "a new UGLY person... " Who apparently isn't ugly! 😳Yeah actually, why bring "ugly" into it and why didn't he claim back whatever was overcharged?

Notagoodrule · 02/10/2024 07:38

Maybe she wasn’t overcharging just charging for the extras

PandoraSox · 02/10/2024 07:46

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:21

Unless the OP is not UK. If the OP is actually in Thailand, laundry people are common as houses/condominiums aren't often kitted out with a washing machine. The same is true of ovens (much to my husband's horror!). If the OP is UK, yes - it's a tad odd.

If in Thailand, then OP would not have a) waffled on about how lucky she is to afford a laundry service b) wouldn't have bothered mentioning/been surprised the woman was Thai and c) does Tesco exist in Thailand?

@BrainLife is right.

Eta: Google tells me Tesco used to have branches in Thailand, but sold them off.

MMadness · 02/10/2024 08:14

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 06:58

Bamboo given tattoos/tattoos themselves are very "cool" across Asia as a whole.

Show quote history

Cool?

Cultural.

notatinydancer · 02/10/2024 08:37

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/10/2024 06:51

I've genuinely never seen a heavily tattooed Thai woman

I have , our friends Thai daughter in law is covered.

Original poster
flowersintheattics · 02/10/2024 09:33

Thank you for the replies. I'm an in pieces at the moment and trying to keep a calm front for our two children. One a toddler and another almost 1.
Apparently they were doing it in her home upstairs from her workplace. I'm so disgusted and my life is now In tatters. He is 40 and she was around late 20's. She obviously knew he was married as she was the one washing our bloody clothes. It doesn't even bear thinking about. He didn't return home last night (thank god!) and I haven't heard from him since.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowersintheattics · 02/10/2024 09:34

BrainLife · 02/10/2024 06:47

He told you just like that did he?

Yes. I knew something wasn't right immediately and thought maybe hey just fancied her. He must have been wanting it to come out to be with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowersintheattics · 02/10/2024 09:34

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/10/2024 06:51

I've genuinely never seen a heavily tattooed Thai woman

Same here.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowersintheattics · 02/10/2024 09:37

Yes we are in the uk. I am currently packing up his things. We live in a bought house under both our names don't have a clue what to do from here. I am so gutted and my children both need me. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I have told my dad last night and he's so angry. No one else knows yet

OP posts:
Original poster
flowersintheattics · 02/10/2024 09:38

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 07:15

Well, bit odd that a laundry person is involved given the quality of home washing machines...

We didnt do laundry at home. We both hated doing it.

OP posts:
Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 10:46

PandoraSox · 02/10/2024 07:46

If in Thailand, then OP would not have a) waffled on about how lucky she is to afford a laundry service b) wouldn't have bothered mentioning/been surprised the woman was Thai and c) does Tesco exist in Thailand?

@BrainLife is right.

Eta: Google tells me Tesco used to have branches in Thailand, but sold them off.

Edited
Show quote history

I never found any Tesco in Thailand? Maybe I was in the wrong part of BK?

PandoraSox · 02/10/2024 10:50

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 10:46

I never found any Tesco in Thailand? Maybe I was in the wrong part of BK?

Show quote history

I think they were called Tesco Lotus. Then Tesco sold up and the stores were rebranded.

https://agfundernews.com/tesco-bows-out-of-asia-after-thai-food-giants-10bn-buyback

Ivegotaboneinmyleg · 02/10/2024 10:51

flowersintheattics · 02/10/2024 09:37

Yes we are in the uk. I am currently packing up his things. We live in a bought house under both our names don't have a clue what to do from here. I am so gutted and my children both need me. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I have told my dad last night and he's so angry. No one else knows yet

So sorry OP. Pack his things and then maybe take a moment to calm your mind some. There are things to do when a relationship fails and MN has posted the comprehensive list of things before. I wish you all the best. 💐

Korn4 · 02/10/2024 11:08

Haven't read the full thread but this woman also know he was married?
He's a scumbag OP.
Keep him out whilst you work out what to do.
Your options are either to divorce him, or marriage counselling or forgive him. Personally, I couldn't do the latter, the trust would be gone forever.

MsDogLady · 02/10/2024 14:00

He has shat all over you and his two tiny children. Disgusting. He can move all his things to the laundrette.

I’m glad that you’ve told your dad, @flowersintheattics. Can he come over to be with you today?

JFDIYOLO · 02/10/2024 14:59

The past: Your marriage wasn't perfect - you believed it was but it was a lie, a mask he created and hid the truth behind.

He and it aren't what you thought.

Going forward: You and your children have RIGHTS.

Tell everyone else. Family, friends. Everyone. This is HIS shame.

Do not listen to anything he says - he will try to lie, blame, turn responsibility onto you ('well if you hadn't - bullshit - I'd never have - more bullshit.).

He will also try to convince you you don't have rights.

See a solicitor.

Has he been paying her for it / spending unexpected money on her? Check the bank and credit card accounts.

Ringfence the family finance. It's your children's future.