Would this be a deal breaker for you?

[User5612347]

I'm in my 50s and recently started seeing a man my age, he's divorced with adult children. He lives rurally and has a one year old labrador. We see each other regularly and get on very well, but it's not serious yet.
He's asked me to go away for a weekend with him and I agreed. I asked him last night about what arrangements he's made for his dog while we are away. The dog can't go to kennels because it's not had it's vaccinations. He's leaving the dog on a long chain with access to a shed and outside and his adult sons will pop in when they can and walk the dog.
I've never had a dog myself but this doesn't sound right at all. I feel like I'll be worrying about the dog all weekend.

I mean, I don’t care much about dogs and isn’t this how dogs used to be kept? Would be fine to me.

the adult sons will be checking on the dog

Aww, you are so put together.Well done on thinking about the dog.
I feel concerned that he cannot find another way to look after his dog while away.
Have a chat with him about this won't ya?

This is completely unacceptable. If he treats his poor dog like this it doesn’t bode well.

No, sorry, that’s terrible

Dogs need companionship and exercise. You can’t just chain them up and leave them.

Posted too soon.
He laughed at my concern and said that people who live in the countryside do this all the time. I feel differently about both him and weekend away now but I don't know if I'm overreacting.

This is my concern. The dog is very cute and puppyish and loves attention. He usually sleeps in the porch. He'll be miserable alone sleeping in a shed.

Nope. I wouldn't go

He's a moron. I've lived in the countryside all my life and never come across anyone who would do this.

It's unacceptable and yes, would be a deal breaker for me.

Couldn't fancy a guy who thought this was OK.

Could you have a good time knowing what you know? My dd's neighbours went out and left their young ddog on a long line after people complained it kept escaping.. Came back and it was hanging dead over the fence. Had jumped it still attached to the line....
He isn't very responsible imo. Back in Ye Olde Days babies were left outside shops in prams - would he be happy doing that these days?

This is awful & cruel🥲 How people treat animals is disgusting. I’d tell him he needs to sort something properly for the poor dog or I wouldn’t be going. Poor thing will wonder what the hell is happening.

No this is awful and yes it’d be a deal breaker. Anyone who even thought this is acceptable would not be someone I’d want to be associated with.

If PIL go out for the day without the dogs they leave the back door open so they can come and go and DHs aunt and uncle go round for an hour or two in the middle of the day to walk then and give them some company. It's really quiet and rural where they are and their garden is fully secure so they feel fine to leave the door open.
It's the chain I wouldn't like in your scenario

I wouldn't know whether this is ok for dogs. Certainly my dad never treated his dog that way. Most people with dogs seem to love them and treat them as well as or better than their favourite humans/children.

Puppies are quite needy - they are babies essentially - and even more mature dogs probably shouldn't be left this way. Can his sons not stay at his house or take the puppy to theirs (one night each if that helps)? Or, if the weekend is UK-based, bring the puppy and let him sleep in his crate in the car?

Personally, despite not being much of a dog person, I'd be so worried about the puppy that I wouldn't be able to enjoy a weekend away. So I'd tell him that and ask to reschedule. Perhaps you could spent the weekend at his place (with the cute puppy)?

I’m a country girl. This is NOT how people look after their dogs in the country.

This poster said everything

I've got dogs, they live in my house. In fact at this moment I'm dogsitting for a friend while she's away for a few days. The dogs are totally at ease, in their usual environment all sleeping peacefully in their beds - as they would be if she was here. I think that's the point - nothing has changed for them, so they're happy. If your chap's dog usually spends his time on a chain, then as long as it's fed as usual, I would think it will be content. There would be questions that I would want answers to, though, being an animal lover. Is the dog let off for exercise, does it get looked after in general - any time spent with it's owner, etc. If it just spends it's entire time alone and is pretty much neglected, I'm afraid that would be a red flag regarding having a relationship with it's owner.

Why hasn't the dog had its vaccinations? That in itself is extremely irresponsible ownership and dangerous for the dog. As for "country folk" leaving dogs tethered whilst they go away - you know this is bollocks OP - that's why you're posting here. Personally, I'd end the relationship and call the RSPCA for a welfare check on the dog or adopt the poor thing myself. I couldn't be with anyone who thought this was OK.

God no. I'd be reporting him to the rspca if he did this. The chain is a potential strangling hazard. Tells you a lot about this man's lack of empathy.

We absolutely do not! I'd not be able to look at him the same way knowing he thinks this is acceptable.

No that’s not acceptable. The dog is still very young and needs to burn off energy and be entertained with toys etc. they need company! Why isn’t it vaccinated?

I would immediately loose interest in him. How a person treats an innocent animal says a lot about their character. The fact that he laughed at your concern would seal the deal.