Is this the end ... ?

[CleverSloth]

So after a 13 month relationship, seeing each other ever fortnight due to childcare and not wanting to rush things with introducing kids due to past relationships.

We've been on holiday etc and have a holiday booked for a few months time.

Never really spoken about feelings just gone with the flow.

weve never had an argument or been stroppy towards each other before.

I've mentioned how I feel as sometimes I feel the relationship is one sided and instead of asking what's wrong ive been told I know where the door is because he's upset that I've questioned his love for me. Somewhat 1st argument and his response had really upset me.

Honestly never felt this way and didn't want to ruin things but I want to feel loved. We have banter towards each other and joke about things but the lovey dovey stuff just is non existent.

He's now saying I remind him of his ex and why can't I be happy and wants some time to think. I think he is unable to see what my problem is. And I don't want to make matters worse by saying I'm hurt by being compared to someone else.

So I've just said "ok, have a good evening. Speak soon" (I really don't like conflict or want to argue)

Have I done the right thing?

OP I mean this in the kindest way as so many of us have been where you are. You do not know his ex just his version of events. An even if you say you seen her social media that still isn’t enough to know someone’s life or who they are and how the relationship truly was.

My ex walked out on me and our family and jumped into a new relationship. She believed everything he said as no sane women would get with him otherwise and within a year she had already reached out to me as I’m guessing the scales have started to fall and she doesn’t feel she can trust him.

Within a year there shouldn’t be any of this and you are on here making posts because you know deep down this isn’t right.

You will flip between rational brain to oo but he’s just this or that and if I do or say the right thing it will work out okay.

Is he fretting or getting by okay? Has he messaged validating your feelings and finding a time to discuss this or is it him talking about himself, work mundane stuff hoping you’ll not bring it up.

These guys are so predictable. Someone told me a healthy relationship is someone who calms your nervous system not rattles it.

He's spoken about all his flings etc, he's been around. Jumping from one to another. He was open about this and said he wants this to be the last relationship he walks into because he's had enough of that lifestyle and wants to settle down.

I naively believed this but we've never really had deep meaningful discussions since the buttering up to win me over.

This all happened Monday night. Yesterday I had one text saying he dont think i'll ever be happy. he's had a bad day with work, home late due to a malfunction so he's planning on having a bath, food and bed and needs to think.

No good morning message (which I normally get) didn't say goodnight which is unusual too. I know what he's doing. He's testing the water to see if I'll call to his or ring him etc and go crying apologising. I've got nothing to apologise for I only nearly asked for simple affection. Being told nice things and to feel wwanted. The normal things a boyfriend should give naturally.

So like I've said in previous posts. I'm not chasing it. It will hurt but I need to put myself first. Actions speak louder than words so the fact that he's now deliberately ignoring the issue shows me he just doesn't care at all.

Holiday destinations have indeed been his choice too. He's basically chosen 2 hotels same country and told me to pick one so later on he can say "but you have chosen it"

Actually I remember him saying his ex used to call him selfish but he just doesn't understand basic things in relationships. Just because a man turns up, buys food and messages most days doesn't mean it's a relationship. It's all rather platonic. A companionship not a relationship.

I will see how things go over the next few days before I make any tough decisions.

Reading your posts OP there’s a fair bit of DARVO going on where he refuses to take any accountability for his own actions but deflects the blame back at you (and previous partners) for his failings.

Hes not a good partner. Your so called demands are just standard normal behaviour in a relationship that’s going somewhere and this one isn’t

Ob the contrary to his words I’d say HE is the one who will never be happy as he’s constantly chasing and never finding anything solid.

Im tempted to ask his name and where he is from, he literally could be my ex down to calling me crazy.

Honestly he sounds far too much. YOu are as well to walk away now and not end up his next crazy ex.

He sounds manipulative to me.

This honestly sounds like my ex… even down to the him claiming abuse and being locked in the house and the not being able to show affection! I’m guessing based on ‘cwtch’ your Welsh as is he!

His initials aren’t DC by any chance!?

No his initial aren't DC.

Wouldn't that be weird if they were lol.

Bloody men!

He told me his ex called him that and selfish. Took me a while to see it I guess.

This is classic male Gemini behaviour apparently
So was your ex a Gemini? 🤣

I haven't seen her social media. I know the names of multiple exs and brief dates but not once has he mentioned her name. Just mentions her almost everytime i see him. About various things. Could be anything from buying wardrobes to what she'd drink they were out. It's becoming rather stressful.
When pulled on it he says he was over her the next day. But he talks about another ex even more often and speaks to her often because of the kids. I get talking about that one. But the recent one why? They had no kids together. It's weird!

Haven't spoken properly since Monday, not answering phone, response to let me know when if want to talk about all this was to say his elderly parent is unwell so he's gunna look after them. No we will chat another day or anything. No response since I said hope they feel better soon.

My ex initials are D C and this sounds like him too 😂 he’s not Welsh though. I think it’s just all too common. How many men are there that avoid accountability, emotionally unavailable and say their exs are crazy. 😂

This is what my ex did at the beginning of our relationship and I’d be sat there being like why is he brining her up. It would be so random too so it throws you off doesn’t it.

Turned out years into the relationship I found out he was seeing her and me at the same time and this is what he did. He always overlapped relationships and never shut the door on exs completely.

We were due to be married when I discovered photos on her social media of them having I shit you not a champagne and lobster lunch. His crazy response was that she had an eating disorder and her hair and teeth were falling out so he just wanted her to eat.

When I spoke to the ex turned out non of that was true 😂 that is the level some of these guys will lie and still try to paint themselves as the good guy.

The twatty lying cheating bloke I mentioned up thread was.

I avoid Gemini’s now - and Leo’s

I do wonder sometimes as we rarely speak on the phone and when we do it's when he was in work. Now he texts me asking when when he can ring and rarely answers if I just ring out of the blue. And usually says goodnight by 9pm. Not had a goodnight message for days though and almost radio silence.

Maybe he has got a secret life.

Ooohh, this dude is a Gemini too. How strange.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately those who aren't shown love just don't know how to handle it and show it.
Hopefully the pain will start healing for you soon.

Moral of the story is, don't fall in love with a Gemini

It's a hard one because no matter how hard you try the broken heart sometimes can't be fixed and the more you give love the more then try to shelter themselves as protection.

Hopefully he has matured.

Why are men over grown children? 🤨

They’re all bloody schizophrenic- it’s the split personality of the twins

The one I dated was 60 ffs and he still acted like a child

I’m currently in Bumble and some of the profiles of the older men are embarrassing how they think they’re still fuckboys

Good luck. Unfortunately men think they are men just can't grow up.

Good luck with Bumble 🐝