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Original poster

Seeing someone and they have slept with their ex

99 replies

Anonymous944 · 04/09/2024 11:24

Hi.
i know im not going to be popular on here. I slept with a co worker who had a partner of 11 years and 2 you children. 1 being 3 months.
they mutually ended it and about a month after I started seeing him. He is a devoted dad and sees his children every day. He told me he was going on holiday with ex and children which I agreed. Since he has come back off holiday he told me he has slept with his ex on 2 separate occasions and was flirty with her. He says he doesn’t wanna be with her and wants to see how things go between us. What do I do??

OP posts:
iloveshetlandponies · 04/09/2024 11:27

Anonymous944 · 04/09/2024 11:24

Hi.
i know im not going to be popular on here. I slept with a co worker who had a partner of 11 years and 2 you children. 1 being 3 months.
they mutually ended it and about a month after I started seeing him. He is a devoted dad and sees his children every day. He told me he was going on holiday with ex and children which I agreed. Since he has come back off holiday he told me he has slept with his ex on 2 separate occasions and was flirty with her. He says he doesn’t wanna be with her and wants to see how things go between us. What do I do??

In the bin he goes

Do you even need to ask?

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/09/2024 11:28

You know the answer, dump him.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 04/09/2024 11:29

He happily shagged you when in a relationship with someone else. What on earth made you think he wouldn't do exactly the same to you once you were in a relationship?

Bin him, he's a scum bag. You ain't exactly covered in roses your self though.

boobot1 · 04/09/2024 11:30

As above. You dump him.

Edingril · 04/09/2024 11:30

Ffs do you really to ask? "Oh he sounds amazing what a catch you need to reel that one in" is not going to happen

SoIShowedUpAtYourPartyy · 04/09/2024 11:33

Imagine what this will be like a few years down the line. You've been given a preview! He's started as he means to go on.

FuzzyDiva · 04/09/2024 11:33

Of course he still wants to see where things go with you and whilst he doesn’t want a relationship with his ex, he still wants sex with her. He probably wants and will likely have sex with others as well. What could there be about this situation that isn’t perfect?

Coldfinch · 04/09/2024 11:37

He’s a user and a disloyal piece of shit.

as PP said, he’s shown you who he is and what he did with you he will do to you. If you like that idea then stay. If you think you deserve better then dump him because he won’t change no matter what he says. Is your time worth so little to hang around a man with a 3 month old baby who wants to see “where this goes”??!!

pinkyredrose · 04/09/2024 11:39

What do I do?

You really need to ask?

Yozzer87 · 04/09/2024 11:39

Leave him and move on with your life. This is the type of person he is and he's unlikely to change. I would never trust a person who I had got with in these circumstances.

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/09/2024 11:43

What do you do?? Is this a trick question? This man slept with you while with someone else. Then slept with them while with you. Dump him and move on. Of course. HTH

Opentooffers · 04/09/2024 11:46

At least he's been up front about it. This is all a mess that you don't need to bring into your life. Your self-esteem must be on the floor to consider accepting this.
I bet she doesn't know about you - mutual split, she can't have known.
He's probably told you because he doesn't care if you end it, and just fed you a line so he could potentially keep both of you on the go.
End it, let his ex have him back. Are they actually living separately, or could the split have been BS too?

Ohcrap082024 · 04/09/2024 11:47

You bow out. Leave them to it.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 04/09/2024 11:47

Karma

Blueybanditbingochilli · 04/09/2024 11:47

Idontjetwashthefucker · 04/09/2024 11:47

Karma

Indeed.

Spenditlikebeckham · 04/09/2024 11:48

Ime the relationship is too tainted to work. Wish to hell I had ltb when my now had ex slept with his ex... Would have saved myself years of heartache...

AgnesX · 04/09/2024 11:48

He sounds like a right piece of dross. I take it you're lacking in self esteem or just common sense. Why else would you get involved with someone like that. Ï

LadyGabriella · 04/09/2024 11:48

This is far far too messy. Walk away it’s not worth it.

HazelPlayer · 04/09/2024 11:49

Op is surprised a cheater cheated.

Rainingagainagain · 04/09/2024 11:51

Even the fact you’re having to ask is another reason to be single, you need to work on self esteem, no man is worth putting up with this nonsense about.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/09/2024 11:52

Well you've got your just desserts haven't you? The sensible thing to do would be to end it. He's keeping you as a back up plan 🤷🏻‍♀️

MayaPinion · 04/09/2024 11:53

Yuk. He’s dipping his wick in her and then dipping it in you. I can only imagine it is made of gold and ejaculates £50 notes. Why? Why do you think you should do anything other than drop kick him from a great height?

Caffeineneedednow · 04/09/2024 11:54

Once a cheeter always a cheeter

Also being a step mum is tough enough when they have had a clean split before your arrival but this overlap will complicate it more.
Remember, his kids mum will always be in his life so if you already have issues with this ( which I would 100% would in this situation) then those feeling will never go away and will get worse with time.

KreedKafer · 04/09/2024 11:54

He hasn't really split up with his ex. He sees his children (and therefore presumably her, if one of them is only three months old) every day, he's going on holiday with her and he's fucking her.

Honestly, have some dignity and ditch him. He doesn't give a shit about you.

HazelPlayer · 04/09/2024 11:54

Also, a second hand man with two kids to pay for before he even has any with you, playing step mammy to other people's kids, "blended" families ......

Can you not find a man where you can have your firsts together, have only your kids together and have your household money going to only them? Kids cost a lot to raise.