My fiance has a really close family, which I originally was happy with, but recently the dynamic IMO has turned a little weird between his mother and me. Back story is she is divorced from his dad, and he is the only son. I think he has had to emotionally support her from a young age.
Recently, at a family event, his mother was being rude to his step mum. She was calling her an alcoholic infront of everybody, I felt really uncomfortable and (luckily) me fiance called her out and told her to apologise (something she IS NOT used to and WAS FURIOUS with my fiance for)
After this event we all went back to a family members house, where she came in hysterical, pointing at my fiance over me, saying he let her down, didnt stand up for her, should of had her back, shes always had his, he was wrong, she isnt talking to him, and refused to look at him. My fiance was forced to keep asking his mum if she was ok, she was ignoring his requests, being really childish. At one point I was in the conversation and I told her that he done the right thing, and she replied "well who taught him to do that?!!!". I could tell it was affecting my fiance, to the point where he followed her outside in the garden and saw them hugging? he literally had to pander to her, because he done the right thing and told her she was wrong? After that, we had 2 weeks of facetimes of her crying, saying she has always stood up for him even when he was wrong, and he done the wrong thing.
We had 2 weeks of phonecalls of her facetiming him crying about this situation. In the end, I told my fiance to tell her to please stop talking about it, it was making me uncomfortable keep talking over and over about it, especially when she was penalising my partner for doing the right thing, that doesnt sit right with me. Next time we was at a event, she was telling my fiances friend about it, and looked at me and said I KNOW YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR THIS ANYMORE SO LOOK AWAY, and proceeded to whisper to my fiances friend infront of me, again i felt very uncomfortable.
Anyway, ever since then, we have been at family events, and I can tell she is making comments about me, for eg I walked past her and over to my fiance to discuss something at a bbq and i heard her go over to my fiances sister and all i heard was the fiances sister say "oh stop, you are being weird stop it"
Seperately, she opened the door and called my fiances sister in the house (obviously to discuss something) I suspect to make me feel left out. throughout the day she kept pulling the SIL to one corner and they was discussing SIL wedding but it felt very on purpose, to leave me out, or to make me feel a certain way. She often glares at me, and/or my fiance, to watch how we are together, and its starting to make me extremely uncomfortable. She is nice to my face, and pretends to like me, but there is just something not quite right.
I don't know how to move forward as I have to see her A LOT at family events, and i dont want to have to let my fiance go alone and to live seperate lives. my fiance has offered to tell her i feel uncomfortable around her and to sort it out, but i know she is going to deny it and run to the sisters, the sort of person that will try and turn everyone against you and make out you are the problem. I have no idea how to proceed? I often wonder what is going to happen when we have kids/at our wedding. I honestly dont want people at my wedding/around me faking it, i would rather no negative energy and for them not to show up. I dont do fake very well.