Upset whilst on holiday

[Creamegg18]

So here I am on holiday in a 5 star hotel feeling down. This is our family holiday, something that I needed due to stress/busy with work and home life and wanted some bonding time with the kids.l and partner.

Holiday was thousands where my partner paid a contribution and I paid the most as I earn a little more than him. Hotel gave us a free room upgrade and everything about the hotel is perfect.

The other day my partner’s gym gear (trousers) disappeared from our terrace after he washed it and letting it to dry. As it was windy I mentioned it may have got blown away, we checked with the cleaner with limited English and she said she hadn’t seen it. Partner is insistent that one of the maintenance guys nicked it after he visited due to a fault with the door.

He confronted hotel reception and they said it may have been taken by a fellow guest etc. Partner then says he wants a crime reference from the police if a fellow guest nicked it. That evening, hotel messaged me to say that they think they have the trousers found near the pools. Partner doesn’t believe them and said it was the maintenance guy. He was incensed and couldn’t sleep, missed his next days gym and been in a foul mood and with me because he thinks I’m siding with the hotel and that I said it’s only trousers and not an expensive jewellery or electronic.

This has ruin our holiday and we are not talking. I’m fed up with his general attitude and for me it’s embarrassing as I emailed the hotel months ago for our two rooms to be close together etc and not only have they done that, they also gave us a free room upgrade worth nearly a grand.

Our last holiday he upset me too as I carried two hot drinks, ice cream and cakes etc where I was struggling as drinks were hot and he couldn’t come over from his sun lounger to help me but moaned as I got him the wrong drink. This holiday I paid for as his birthday present.

I don’t think I want another holiday now but I feel for the kids as they are having so much fun and hotel has been great.

What's she like the rest of the time?

If this behaviour happens at home then why on earth are you with him?? That sounds absolutely awful.

How can you now make this man your ex partner?. He seems intent on making your lives a complete misery.

What are you getting out of this relationship now?.

His overreactions to a pair of trousers going missing (of course the wind carried them off the balcony) are also very concerning and he has further used that to create an argument with you. He’s an abusive fun sponge.

I would also suggest you read a copy of Women who love too much by Robin Norwood.

What a shame he's like this on your holiday. Maybe try and make this the best one ever by telling him to go and find a room elsewhere. He sounds dreadful and rude.

Stop taking him on holiday.

Are the trousers his?

If so, surely that’s a laugh it off, have another cocktail and toast the happy return of the favoured pants?

Unless he’s a sulky man child who has been proven wrong and has now ‘lost face’.

Stop fetching and carrying his drinks, for a start. It’s your holiday too.

You absolutely do want another holiday but maybe not with him. Next year plan to go with just the kids, or friends and family. Leave him with his gym trousers

Keep going on holidays. Ditch the whiny man child. He and his gym trousers can walk off onto the sunset together.

Yes gym trousers found were is. He said it’s too much of a coincidence of the hotel that when he mentioned the police that his trousers appeared in the evening. I said let it go, you have your trousers now and let’s enjoy the rest of our holiday but he was in a mood for a day as he couldn’t sleep and missed his next gym session. I’m upset as I really like this hotel and want to come back as do the kids. He’s a sulky man child type that gets defensive and blames everything on everyone else.

i said even if the maintenance guy nicked it even though theft is wrong, perhaps he needed it as he may get paid pittance but i offended him more by saying this.

Is he normally like this? He sounds truely vile.

Is it an ongoing theme that he can’t move on from things? Or even within your relationship you can’t resolve minor things to move on? I ask as really this and what upset you at the last holiday should be minor things that are moved on from, not become such a big deal. What happens if you don’t give too much attention to his escalation of this?

This guy is a dick. You must know this. He can’t even let YOU enjoy the holiday you have spent so much on. BIN HIM.

He is a twat, blaming you, the hotel, staff, everyone but himself. Why could he not go to the gym surely he has other shorts or trousers with him, just another step to victimhood. Why are you constantly paying out for his holiday?

What are you teaching your children about relationships when you are with a sulky man child like this?.

It's such a shame he's reacted like this. An incident like missing trousers has a real comedic element to it and it could have been such a laugh.

Sulky behaviour is soul crushing. And just creates such 'walking on eggshells' atmosphere for you.

I really feel for you and he's just gone OTT re trousers and missing gym.

You haven't answered if he's usually like this? Is this behaviour a one off or typical?
From this one description he sounds awful.

The hot drinks on our previous holiday I let it go as it was minor and I know he’s not the gentleman type. This holiday I researched for ages that met all our needs and couldn’t believe they gave us an upgrade, placed both our rooms near each other and hotel has been just perfect. It’s always me that plan things for the family and if it’s going abroad, he just pays a contribution and turn up with his passport. That’s what upsets me too as I plan every last detail.

I was trying to reason with him to say he has his trousers back - I can’t understand why he would lose sleep over it.

All over some gym trousers?! What a horrible sulky little man. 😳😳😳 I couldn’t be with someone like this. I’d try and enjoy the holiday for now as best you can and make plans to leave when you get back. He’s never going to change.

Unfortunately so, he gets defensive so easily and won’t reason even if I try to get him to. He never admits anything is his fault and last night blamed his dad as he’s a worrier and gets worked up unnecessarily. It caused us a lot of arguments.

I wouldn’t give a two hoots if one of my clothing went missing

Honestly OP he sounds like an arse but for the sake of your holiday just pay lip service to his tantrum and ignore it

Is this man your children's father? Please leave him you and your dc downseserve this dark cloud over you all.

It's so much more oily they blew off and it's his fault for not pegging them down in some way.

Can't believe he's ruining the holiday for this.

Take yourself and the dc off for the day and leave him to it. Tbh I couldn't be arsed with this level of drama over a pair of fucking gym trousers

He couldn't sleep because he lost some trousers and then subsequently found them again? Urgh, I think my fanny would emigrate, what a deeply unattractive man he is.

I'd just ignore him to be honest and enjoy my holiday with the kid/s. But I have absolutely zero tolerance threshold for grown adults having sulks and hissy fits.

Yes that’s make it more difficult. I said to him last night after initially trying to talk with him calmly as I hated the atmosphere and getting him to reason which didn’t work, then I said I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life with you if this is going to the same behaviour when we are on holiday which got his back up even more, then he said we can split up when we get back home. I didn’t rely.