I divorced my child’s dad four years ago after being married for 15 years. He's an insidious covert narcissist who presents himself as the nice guy. He was very envious of my success, which I achieved through hard work, but would secretly try to sabotage me while putting on a fake smile of being happy for me. He now has a new girlfriend, but he’s been using covert tactics to get my attention and try to make me jealous. I ignore it all, of course, as I have zero interest in his life.
I’ve blocked him on all forms of communication, but I didn’t realize I still had him on Instagram until recently when I started being more active on it. He had been watching all my stories until he must have realized that I could see him doing so. He also changes his WhatsApp profile picture to one of him and his girlfriend, then messages me something unnecessary about our child—clearly just so I’ll see it. She doesn’t realize he’s using her for this.
I keep communication with him to a minimum due to previous stalking incidents. I really don’t want to meet his new girlfriend, and I’m sure he’ll use this as a way to try to get to me. I’m sure she’s really nice, as that’s the type of person he targets, and my kid has said she is, but he’s likely told her that I’m the crazy one like he did me about his previous ex. She won’t know that my minimal contact is due to his stalking and coercive control, and that he was still stalking my social media account recently.
Can I get away with just not meeting her? How would you handle this? I was hoping that when he found someone new, I’d be left alone, but now he wants my attention more than ever. It’s so covert that, from the outside looking in, you wouldn’t notice what he’s doing.
I can't wait until I child becomes an adult so I have deal with this nonsense less.