Men. What do you need?

[Lucy Long Socks]

Just wondering what men require from a long term relationship. Physical and mental, family, friends, the home, work, holidays. Anything really. What will make you stick around and enjoy it. Or not enjoy it. Interested.

🤣

My partner wanted an equal to go through like with. After seeing his dad be a chauvinistic arse and his mum treated like a maid, he didn't want that sort of a relationship. He also wanted a best friend and someone who he could laugh with, was emotionally intelligent, loyal, had shared values. Obviously affection and sex is important but if you have a good relationship, great sex happens naturally.

Just discussing this thread with my partner and he said based on what I'd told him about many of the men on mumsnet, he's not surprised by some answers. He thinks the type of men that plonk themselves in the middle of a mainly women's forum aren't going to be the good men, on the whole. I think he has a point.

My DH wanted a partner to work in a team together. He wanted someone to laugh with and to just enjoy being with.

He loves food, but doesn't care who gives it to him, I never cooked when we first met so he was the chef or we ate out, I don't iron, so he does his own ironing, I am far from a maid and never have been.

We just get each other, love each other and respect each other and after 22 years, we not only still love each other, but we still really like each other. He is a good man.

Me too, story of my life.

Having just re-watched an episode from series 12 of Taskmaster, I can tell you what this man wants - someone to think of me the way Victoria Coren Mitchell thinks of David. And also someone as intelligent and funny as Victoria Coren Mitchell. And as attractive as Victoria Coren Mitchell.

It's Victoria Coren Mitchell.

People who say men like their meals cooked and clothes washed are projecting their own mummy/son 1950s model of relationships. Real men with integrity don’t need women to do domestics, they’re perfectly capable of doing that and the pragmatic (and most enjoyable imo) approach is teamwork.

My DH would say he doesn’t need anything. He is completely self sufficient as an intelligent and emotionally robust individual. He stays because we - me and the kids - are his world and nothing else is as important.

My husband cheated on me because apparently I wasn't very loving. Whilst I solely cared for our 3 young children with no time for me or nights out or hobbies. He on the other hand had all that

A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel! No. Think of another wish."

The man agreed and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive.

So, I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy..."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

This thread is crushing and revolting.
My poor daughters.

We don't want much tbh, love I would say. Men are not complex characters, pretty basic really. OK you can say sex but once you hit 50 let's be honest, yes it's good but not everything. Love and loyalty. Same as you lot want really? Yes or no?

Nah, that's rubbish. He cheated on you because men lack self control. It's not you, it's him. Promise.

A man.

Jim Davidson?

Congratulations for entirely missing the point.

To be fair, who wouldn’t want this? It sounds amazing. I’d want this in an ideal world!

I think the first post was Joey Tribiani.

Want the truth, or what you want to hear?

People don't want the truth. It's like saying men have zero interest in single mums over 40. That's probably true for 9/10 guys, but it will be slammed because people don't want to hear that. It will be labelled shallow, or disputed with "my husband is this and he's amazing".

The same is true for women. Women will filter out men on dating sites below 6 foot. It matters to the majority (statistically), and based on MN, if he's got a below average penis, he'll be dumped too because "you deserve to be happy and enjoy sex".

Neither truth is easy for the opposite sex to hear, and both will hide it with "no, I love kids!" or "nooo, big ones hurt, yours is perfect"... but you'll still be dumped under the guise of some generic "I'm just not ready for a relationship" rubbish excuse instead.

Err...yeah. In a nutshell.

And what point is that? I first found this forum when my wife and I were going through multiple rounds of IVF. It was a hugely helpful resource and provided plenty of support. Fell down the rabbit hole of AIBU etc and have been mooching around ever since.

Pretty much what a woman wants in a man.

Loyalty
Trust
Get on with family and friends
Financially responsible/independent
similar interests
a best friend
someone to grow old with.
Shared responsibilities within the house, such as cooking and cleaning.

And the last one- Good sex / Intimacy. I’ve left this one until last as sex and intimacy are hugely important in a relationship regardless of sex. However, we all know how MN works, a man wants sex he’s a sex pest and a cock lodger - if a man doesn’t want sex then he’s a porn addict or having an affair. But…..sex is what makes a friendship a relationship , it needs to be enjoyable for both and the frequency has to work for both partners.

if anyone’s list is wildly different to this I’d be very surprised!

I met my partner when we were both at school and we had something really special. We have grown together and are now in our 40s. All I've ever wanted from a partner is friendship, love, trust, affection and equality where you can both be who you really are and support each other with every challenge.

Some men I know have partners who cook and clean for them and basically get away with being absolute selfish pricks. I think all too often women accept shitty selfish behaviour from men and they deserve and should expect better.

First post, sorry if I sound like a tw*t

Someone who acts like they're proud to be with me. Supports me in my dreams and endeavours. Respects my need for peace and space. Allows me to be weak, sensitive and vulnerable sometimes and not the impenetrable rock that men still seem to be expected to be, despite these supposedly enlightened times.

And, of course, good, frequent sex. But not just that. Occasional, eat-each-others-faces-off snogging sessions like we're still drunk teenagers. Someone who can lose themselves with me enough to still be like this... isn't constantly distracted and unable to switch off.

Really, mostly just simple, sensual, sensory joys that we can switch off together and enjoy, not be constantly "bothering" about things.

And what point is that? I first found this forum when my wife and I were going through multiple rounds of IVF. It was a hugely helpful resource and provided plenty of support. Fell down the rabbit hole of AIBU etc and have been mooching around ever since.

I did say 'many' not all. I also said 'on the whole'. If you're not one of the problem men on here, then it doesn't apply to you so why so defensive? 😅

You definitely don’t sound like a tw*t