Mother in law always moves out the way when I try to take a photo but will happily sit for her other DIL’s photos.

[Timefortea8]

I don’t know if I’m over thinking this. But when ever I try and take a natural photo of her with the grandkids for example she will always try and move out of the way. She is happily sitting and even posing for the pics my SIL posts on social media with her other grand kids.

I feel like asking what is going on but don’t want to sound like an idiot. I’d understand if it was like this in all picture but it’s just mine.

I wouldn't overthink it. You are maybe just picking a day when she feels she looks rough, or doesn't want her photo taken. Lots of people don't like being photographed. What does 'natural' mean? That you are trying to take her unawares?

Do you ask her if you can get a picture of her and the grandkids?

Sounds like she’s someone who’d rather pose for a photo if asked, rather than have someone sneakily taking candid shots from unflattering angles.

If it is literally every single time than I would absolutely say something. The GC will want photos with her.

i personally hate being in family photos and will actively move away when cameras are pointed in my direction.

why? because i hate myself.. i hate how i look, i'm old, fat, ugly and i don't want to spoil family photos by being on them.

my children know me, im comfortable with them, allow them to see the real me and if they take a photo of me, they ask for my approval first..

yes its my issue.. but it is what it is

Exactly this, candid shots can be awful and she may feel self conscious.

If I’m going to be in a photo, I want it to be one I know about, and have readied myself accordingly be that just a more flattering pose or tidying my hair.
If someone tried to take a ‘natural’ photo of me, I would probably avoid it as I can guarantee I will hate the resulting pic.

Just mention, you’d like to get a photo of her and the kids and let her be comfortable with it. Don’t spring it on her or she’ll just keep moving away.

If I asked as I have in the past then it is a no. But she will happily have any photos taken with the other sibling and grandkids. If it was because she was self conscious then I’d understand it would be with all people. I just want some nice photos with the kids.

My friend had this situation a few years ago. Turns out after many instances of dodging photos and removing tags on Facebook at lightning speed, followed by an uncomfortable conversation, that her MIL felt "shameful" that their DC was obviously conceived before they were married as he was born 4 months later. So astonishingly, the MIL refused to be seen with or photographed with her innocent little GDS.
I'm not trying to imply that's the case here because it may well not be. However I also would absolutely not just be ignoring it like PP suggested. That's not only condoning appalling & inappropriate behaviour on her part, but is not standing up your DC.

Oh fuck her, if she doesn't want to have any pictures of her with the kids thats her problem. Your kids have got you and your mum. You don't need her.

Neither of her kids are married so it won’t be that but it feels like something.

You've completely skipped the part where she is happily staying in position for the photo when it's OP's SIL who's taking the photo (and presumably a different GDC she's sat with)

What do you think her reason is? What is your relationship like normally or her relationship with the kids? If it is good then I would guess that she is just camera shy on those occasions.

Are you someone who posts every photo on social media? She may not want to end up on Facebook/Insta.

If it’s none of the above, you’re just going to have to ask or get DH to ask.

Yes she is perfectly happy to be in any position with this family and these grandchildren. I’ve never in the 4 years we have been together ever been in a shot with her, she just won’t entertain it.

@Timefortea8 Has she ever given the impression that she has an issue with/dislikes you?
Personally I'd try really quickly taking a photo next time she's sat with your DC, before she has chance to move away. See how she reacts

No I don’t post every pic on social media but the other SIL does and the mil comments lovely msgs etc.

I’d say she is quite off with me. I’ve no idea really I dont understand the situation. Even if I’m quick it doesn’t hide the fact she can’t get away quick enough.

If she dislikes you and for that reason alone, she therefore refuses to be in a photo with your DC (meaning your DC essentially are missing out on a pic with grandma) then I'd absolutely stop her seeing your DC. Not just because of photos, but because this vile attitude of hers will spill out in many other toxic ways in the future and will harm your DC! My own GDM used to bitch about my DF because she hated him and it really upset and confused me as a child.

If you did this to me I'd be fucking outraged and it would damage our relationship.

Your desire to demand a photo of me doesn't outweigh my consent. The OP says she has asked if she can have a photo and MIL declined.

@Timefortea8 No I know it doesn't change anything, I didn't mean it that way. I meant, take the photo before she can move purely to see how she reacts when she realise you 'got her' before she could move. If she kicks off then there's your answer.....

@Hatty65 If that's true then I'd say you've got some serious issues. Why wouldn't you want a photo with one grandchild but happily have one taken with the other?

I don’t think she needs any more reasons to dislike me.

Are they her grandkids? Not kids you had before you were with her son?

I'd just say something to her and ask her why she doesn't want photos with them. If she doesn't change or doesn't have a reason for not then I'd just leave it be. Your kids will be old enough one day to ask themselves and they might notbe subtle about it

With her own daughter she can probably have an input over the editing. Like make her take multiple shots and decide which ones to post. She might not feel able to do this with you . Tell her that if you take a few poses she can pick the ones she likes best ?

Maybe she wants to check the photo before it gets posted / sent on to other ppl or kept on your Phone?

I know a fair few ppl who don't like random photos of themselves being taken.

I think she is being childish about something. It’s just photos with you dear grandchildren. I couldn’t give a rats arse if she dislikes me. Something isn’t quite right.