Mother in law always moves out the way when I try to take a photo but will happily sit for her other DIL’s photos.

[Timefortea8]

I don’t know if I’m over thinking this. But when ever I try and take a natural photo of her with the grandkids for example she will always try and move out of the way. She is happily sitting and even posing for the pics my SIL posts on social media with her other grand kids.

I feel like asking what is going on but don’t want to sound like an idiot. I’d understand if it was like this in all picture but it’s just mine.

Terrible advice, why on earth would you do something like that. Who do you think you are?

take the photo before she can move purely to see how she reacts when she realise you 'got her' before she could move. If she kicks off then there's your answer.....

Yeah only follow this shitty advice if you don’t ever want to have a decent relationship with your MIL ever again.

If I told someone I didn’t want them to take a photo of me and they did this, I’d snatch their phone off them and smash it delete it.

It’s her DIL and not she has no input. They all all normal family pics with all sorts of poses.

Well on the basis of everything you’ve said, she sounds horrible and if she refuses to be photographed with her grandkids, she doesn’t deserve a relationship with them.

I would probably speak to her about it before I burnt the bridges tho.

Where is your DH in this?

I don't.

I don't want my photo taken at all, frankly. Or to be on SM. We don't know what's going on with this MIL, but I don't see why the OP is so desperate to take a photo of someone she thinks dislikes her and who she's labelled as 'childish'.

Exactly you aren’t happy and posing with one family and running the other direction from the other if she asks for one. I’d get you because you consistent.

I’m confused really why the other SIL can happily post away pictures of them together and talk about happy family and family is so important and they all together and the MIL happily commentating and I can’t take a photo myself. I don’t understand.

Maybe you are terrible at taking photos.

I was going to suggest this but it would be difficult for OP to know this or acknowledge it. My OH takes terrible photos, absolutely awful, he just cannot see it or understand it.

No I’ve got a master in arts and I’d say pretty good at taking pics lol

Does she bad mouth you elsewhere and say you don't allow her to see her grandchildren?

If she always then tagged online looking like she was having fun she would make an arse of herself?

I’d leave the photograph taking to her son. Whatever her problem is, it doesn’t have to be your problem as well.

Hmmm maybe I’m not sure tho.

Maybe you have poor photography skills?

Sounds like something is going on.
She’s got some narrative to maintain as suggested by PP. Or she likes playing people off against each other. Did she used to play her own children off against each other? Does she favour your partner’s brother? Did she get on well with one of your partner’s exs? Or she just wants to be awkward with you because in some way you are a threat or you said something once that she is sulking about. You say she doesn’t like you. Do you know why?

I would wait until a suitable time to ask her directly. ‘I’ve noticed you don’t like photos with my children but you’re ok being photographed with your other GC. Can you let me know why? Are my photo skills that bad?’ Etc.

Is she OK with your husband taking pictures of her with the children? If she's OK just ask him to take them. Then once you've established if it's about her attitude towards you, rather than the actual taking of the photos, you can raise it with her.

God knows but you know that feeling when you know something is just so off. It feels like that. I feel like I’m playing some kind of part in something that I don’t know about. She is very involved in the other son, she is a large part of his decision making. I don’t put up with that, we don’t look to her for any decisions about our family. We would like them to be a part but we don’t runs things past her.

I could try. All the other photos are taken by the SIL and uploaded by her, the son doesn’t do social media or photo taking.

Why would I be a threat @Catoo? I have only ever tried to be nice.

Maybe she thinks if you take a pic, your phone will steal her soul

In my head she secretly bloody hates me and me taking a photo goes against all the shit feelings she has against me. People will think that she likes me and people might think because of this I am nice because she is god on who is nice or not, or something similar, or not lol!

How do you know she had the other pictures taken "happily"?

Because they all on the SIL social media and she commenting about them and how family is amazing and so important and how much she loves them…..that doesn’t happen to us.

Can the other DiL ask her why she doesn’t like you taking photos of her then explain to you?
Surely she’s being pictured with your children - it’s nothing to do with who takes the shot. Yet she isn’t distant with your children. Maybe she’s trying to thwart you because she’s not as involved with making decisions in your family as she is with her other son. A power game?

no i didn't miss it.... OP i think is married too MIL's son... where as SIL i have assumed but could be wrong is MIL's bio daughter!! I feel more comfortable asking to see and asking for photos to be deleted by my DD than i would with my DIL.

i'm merely giving a possible other reason is all