Fiancé Frustrations...Need advice

[Aal2225]

Hello ladies! Just venting and would love some input as I feel that sometimes being in a situation you can feel stuck or not see the full picture. Anyways I work full time as a property manager and have my son full time from my first marriage. My fiance used to build custom kitchens and quit that last year wanting to do art full time. He stays home all day except for his morning work out and paints and does his art. He has not really sold anything all year. I pay every single bill that we have. He does pick up y son from school or after school care but thats it and cleans occasionally. I work, clean, cook and pay every single bill. I dont see him having any urgency in helping with bills. I feel exhausted and idk if I can do it anymore. I feel like I need a partner that cares.

Did he not discuss with you quitting his job? What was the agreement on the bills? I'd ditch him.

We talked about it but i expected him to be selling or if he wasnt to at least pick up a part time job. He doesnt seem bothered and all he does it clean sometimes and pick up my son from school

Oh God no, "The Starving Artist" is such a big ick. He needs to either be doing a fuck load more of the housework and cooking, or he needs to get a job that actually pays.

Yeah im exhausted. Like he works out two hours in the morning paints all day and then picks up my son at 5pm. He literally has allllll day. I pay rent, gas, insurance, groceries.....everything!!!!!

Ask him to move out.

You'll be in a better position financially not having to support him, paying 25% less on council tax, lower utility bills, less food etc.

And he will have to provide for himself, it's what adults do 🙄

No no no no no no no. How ridiculous. You are getting tiny amounts from this relationship but giving everything. That is a net loss. Cut your losses, kick him out, save a shit tonne of expense and clearing up (2 hrs working out eh? Bet he has an appetite on him). You could get a childminder for ds after school and possibly still be in financial profit, but more importantly, you will be in 'you' proft, and rid of this vampire stuck to your side. Ugh ugh ugh.

Your a mug and he's a cocklodger. Woman up.

A couple of suggestions. Ask him to move out. Ask him to get a job that covers his share of the bills and to pull his weight around the house, dump him.

And weve been engaged three years and a date never gets set and im always the one asking. I know I need to be done. The car registration expired in april and its expensive to renew. I just havent had the funds and he complains and complains and this morning I finally said to him " You want the registation renewed pay the money yourself then or you need to wait for my bonus."

Cocklodger alert. Really landed on his feet hasn't he. Advice would have to be not to marry him unless/until he starts paying and doing at least half of bills and tasks. How he does that is his problem.

He needs to contribute somehow.

I have friends who are incredible artists and they work at it professionally. They do commission work in a fairly niche but very profitable field. Their works command a good price but its not enough to truly live on. They're always broke.

Very few artists make a decent income. Especially in the current financial climate where art is a luxury that most people have cut back on except for the very wealthy who are not going to pay for the vanity works of an unknown amateur.

Had he sold anything before he gave up work to devote his iife to art? Did he have a client base? What does he paint? What made him think people were going to buy his work?

Everyone I know who works as an artist (I know a few) does it alongside a proper paying career or to supplement an already good pension. He's an idiot and I'm amazed you went along with it.

But it is what it is and so, if he's not going to contribute financially to the household, he needs to step up and take on the 'wifework'. At the moment, he's a waste of space and I would not be marrying him

Don't spend your bonus on him!
He is a shameless embarrassing parasite.

He needs to at least get a part time hob so he can contribute.

No. He needs to pay for it himself.

That is not what your bonus is for.

Ya he sold his car because he wanted money. Then uses mine and wants mw to renew my plates with my bonus money because i dont have enought check to check with all the other bills

I don't really know anything about personalised plates. Can you go back to using the originals?

Time for an ultimatum, he gets a job or he moves out.
Honestly, how much income has he made in the past year from his art?

You are setting yourself up for a life of misery by staying with this cocklodger.

Maybe $200? :(

They have to renew the registration and give you new stickers with the current year

You've convinced me. Ditch him. Have a better life.

OP is clearly in USA, they pay for their car registration plates annually. She's also used "check" for cheque...

Well, not 'clearly'. I have no idea about registration plates anywhere else and people spell things 'incorrectly' all the time on here.

But thanks for the clarification anyway. Every day is a school day!

Dump him.
move on.
sorry 😔

Yes im from US lol.