How long to feel sure about having a baby/marrying someone?

[bananasarent]

Just that, really, how long do you think is reasonable for someone to want to wait to feel "sure" about having a baby or getting married?

I'm trying not to give too much info away re ages or other factors in play, but let's say both parties are established adults with careers, finances in order, old enough to have had many relationships and know what they're looking for etc in life. Too old to need to play the field anymore. Certainly at the sort of ages where others would already be settled down/married/have children.

How long would you want to know someone/be in a relationship with them before you feel you're ready to take that step?

Or being mid 40's and still not sure what he wants...

Sure. Although you didn't exactly make a choice.

Not to get pregnant at that exact moment in time, but I chose to continue with it, I chose to continue with him and parent with him, I chose to marry him and I chose to have subsequent children with him.

I was expecting a baby with my now husband after a couple of years together. Had my third baby at 39 and he became a daddy for the first (and definitely last) time ❤️ No regrets (although height of lockdown!!)

Married within a year and married for a long time and I remained committed through ups and downs, sadly same couldn't be said for him and I still loved him for a time after I filed for divorce.

I agree with this @Quitelikeit

i think I fell for this idea that you just know immediately. It meant when a love bomber came along, I assumed it was because we were meant to be. I wasn’t even that young at the time.

now I’d say 2-3 years

By which time you had already spent more time with him. So that proves my point.

2 under 2, barely. We got to know each other in the trenches of parenthood like most couples do really. I’ve known many people break up from very long relationships in the trenches.

If you insist. They say pride goes before a fall.

How delightful xx

engaged at 3 months, married at 6 months... 12 years on still going strong. We met when i was 45

Met at 27. We got engaged a few days shy of our first year anniversary of meeting for the first time, and found out I was pregnant 10 days later (planned pregnancy). We married 9 months after baby was born so we'd been together around 2.5 years and had a 9 month old baby.