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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hubby working from home more

82 replies

Sorento569 · 13/08/2024 00:03

Am so used to my husband working 4 days in office and 1 day at home. New job coming up and he'll be only in office 2 days a week. I'm a sahm - and I'm dreading it! I need my own space and feel like he'll be on top of me! I'm actually worried about our relationship suffering. Any tips on how you would cope / overcome this worry? Anyone at home with their other half a lot. We just get on better with a bit of distance between us!

OP posts:
MaxTalk · 13/08/2024 11:36

LameBorzoi · 13/08/2024 11:18

It was the language used. "A plan of action to make the work at home productive". Yuck. Technically correct, but from the point of view of the person wanting to relax in their personal space, sounds intrusive.

Yes, there are things to do to make things work. But, for example, being stuck at home with small kids and someone trying to work sounds like an utter nightmare.

I don't get it - how is it intrusive? You need a plan to help him work.

That means setting up a room, having the appropriate hardware etc.

He needs to focus on work - intrusive or not intrusive. It's how it has to be and I am sure the OP will be able to happily use the rest of the house for what she wants, when she wants to...

Everyone is happy. :)

SheilaFentiman · 13/08/2024 12:02

Peonies12 · 13/08/2024 11:31

I've seen it all now. Moaning about him working from the home he entirely pays for. We both WFH almost entirely, it's pretty normal, you're really overreacting. Maybe get yourself a job or volunteering to get out the house?

She had a little bit of a moan AND THEN she asked for advice. Which is the point of MN: sharing experience and seeking support.

And how is a few sentences on a parenting site “really overreacting”?

No wonder OP hasn’t come back with posts like yours.

LameBorzoi · 13/08/2024 12:11

MaxTalk · 13/08/2024 11:36

I don't get it - how is it intrusive? You need a plan to help him work.

That means setting up a room, having the appropriate hardware etc.

He needs to focus on work - intrusive or not intrusive. It's how it has to be and I am sure the OP will be able to happily use the rest of the house for what she wants, when she wants to...

Everyone is happy. :)

If you have a big enough house, and he's considerate enough, then it can work.

If they have a small house and she's home with little kids, it doesn't work. It means she spends all day shushing them; that's his work intruding on a day that's already tricky. It's his work saving money on office space by taking over family space .

And no, it's not clear that it has to be that way. It's not clear that he HAS to work from home.

Callisto1 · 13/08/2024 12:58

I think it can work well if you have sufficient space and agree on some ground rules.
It can also be a pain if the person working demands that the house is quiet or expects you to do stuff for him and change your routine.
We had quite a few compromises about this during lockdown and after, but we both got used to it.

Beautifulweeds · 30/05/2025 19:37

My DH wfh most of the time and I work 3 days a week, out of the house, often long shifts. On my days off, yes, it was a nightmare when DC were very young and still is in a different way that I love my own space. He has an office, just for him, nearby, but prefers the comforts of home.

I will be honest and say yes it does impact on our homelife and me wishing he would bugger off. It's only 2 days a week for me, sometimes less if I pick up more work, and I also work weekends when I can. I know I'm awful to feel resentful but to me he is home almost ALL the time, I only am when I'm not working so crave some alone time, with or without DC. Xx

Lavender115 · 30/05/2025 20:23

I am someone who likes the house to themselves to relax without explaining or compromising with anyone. We live in a small house too.

DH has an arrangement at his work where he is supposed to work from home two days and in office three days. His work is fairly relaxed with arrangements. He often works from home four days a week, sometimes all days at home.

I am full-time and work from home four days and am in office one (I go in on one of DH’s work from home days). On the other days, we usually have a coffee in the morning and I usually make a quick lunch for us but outside of that we stay at our own ends of the house.

I prefer to have more space and feel claustrophobic when we are in the house so much together. Sometimes it can be almost two weeks at a time due to weekends, public holidays and me caring for DC when unwell (as they can’t go to childcare). By the end of that time I’m feeling hemmed in.

I have no solution. I’m fortunate DH and I do at least sit away for the workday and I go out for walks to break up the day.

When I was part-time, DH would choose to work from home on my day off. I quickly went back full-time after that. Being in the house together when it was my day to myself was hard. I couldn’t turn on a movie and eat snacks for example to unwind. DH likes to comment on things and with him sitting close by, I didn’t feel like I could enjoy myself.

Ruggerlass · 30/05/2025 20:45

I’m retired and my husband works from home when he’s not working away. He has a home office and as far as we’re concerned he’s at work and I just leave him to it. I just do my own thing as does he. Depending on what meetings he has or what I’m doing we may or may not have lunch together. It’s the only way to make it work.

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