Keeping expectations real...

[thegoatest]

I hope to meet a lovely man, a companion of sorts.
I have been advised , with love, to keep my expectations real.
My expectations are that he will be emotionally mature, kind, compassionate, trustworthy, loyal, hardworking, a family and friend man, intelligent, socially intelligent, believes in equality, humorous, solvent, an excellent father , son and brother , tall, handsome and fresh for his age ie 45+.
Surely this is basic?

Satire?

As if! 😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Men like this are few and far between, and even they can be stroppy lazy gits when the mood takes them.

Gosh, I must have been a fool. Maybe this is why I am single !
The bar is indeed low 😂😂😂

I've been told to try your best to be what you dream of and I do try , just in case you think I'm being ridiculous !!!
Of course I'm an asshole at times, with all my faults but generally I consider myself to have these traits !

They do exist, but are very rare. I’m lucky I found such a man.

Tá an t-ádh agat! Maith sibh😊

I would say my DP, at 68, is all of that. I’m blessed, and really do appreciate him as the men I experienced before were very definitely not!

If you ditch 'tall' you might open up the options.

And genuinely single men who match that criteria are rarer than a rainbow unicorn juggling fire in your back garden - they’re as mythical a creature as the Loch Ness Monster.

I'm looking for a man in finance, trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes.

Anyone who approaches dating like going to the supermarket with a list is treating people like things. Meet people. Keep an open mind. Hold fast to your standards and morals. That is all.

I did have one once, then he dropped me like a hot potato and broke my heart. You should add not scared of commitment to your list.

It’s not an unrealistic list of requirements. They are indeed out there.
But here’s the thing… a lot of single (and some not single..) women will be very attracted to such a man. As such, he’ll rather have his pick of the bunch of constantly fluttering eyelashes in his direction and they’ll turn on the charm. It’s only natural.
So, in the nicest way possible, the question is more are you that particular woman that stands out head and shoulders above all others to hold such a man’s attention to form a LTR together?
If you are, then fill yer boots!!

I never want to burst anyone’s bubble, but even in my own office I hear very lovely but perfectly average women clearly waiting for Mr Perfect to just notice them and sweep them off their feet. One of them is desperate for a relationship but bless her been single for all the years I’ve known her. But a bit of life experience has taught me that Mr Above Average is simply busy pursuing Miss Above Average elsewhere and hasn’t even noticed her. Obviously I keep these thoughts to myself and only share here as it’s an anonymous online forum.

I love that honest opinion and thank you but these are my very basic list of what I'd like ideally. I aim to be that person.. characteristics I mean... so I hope to meet the same but from
What I hear , read and listen to from friends, my expectations are too high of not ridiculous .
I'm quick to get rid of poor quality men and believe me, I know and have met many .
Do I drop my standards?

I am divorced btw and have had a two year relationship with a good man afterwards ,just not great. He has wonderful characteristics but time revealed he Wanted a nurse to
Mind him ,and all my attention but I had no interest in that.

Let me know if he has a brother OP, when you find him 🤣🤣🤣

I think if you can find someone who aspires to be all those things, it'd be a more realistic expectation. No-one is perfect, we all have our flaws.

That's a great point and I agree , we all have our flaws but gosh , it has to be an aim , yes?

There's no harm in having high expectations, but be prepared to drop a couple of them.
Also, are you able to meet the expectations yourself in reverse? As a man with many things going for him are likely to have his own wishlist for wants in a partner.

Yes I am prepared to
Meet him at where he is at. I try every day to be that person so I want that person .

Well my MIL has just recently married the guy she met 4 years ago who I'd say ticks all of those boxes, so it's possible!

I think it depends what each of the characteristics actually mean to you tbh. Eg is tall 5ft9 or 6ft5 to you? Is handsome stereotypically so, or just handsome to you? "Believes in equality", is this in principle? Or painfully aware of the patriarchal structures in society and actively acts against them?

And so on...

So, tall, handsome and fresh for his age?