Tell the new gf that my ex is a conman?

[RedditFinder]

My ex fiancé cheated on me. I only found out afterwards when he’d got his new gf (he’d cheated on me with) pregnant. He tortured me for years, on again off again. Never letting me move on. Telling me he didn’t want any more children. She knows nothing about me, and there was no way I could track her down.

His mum refused to tell her, I guess so she’s still have access to the baby.

I also found out he’s been pretending to be a pilot, and lied to loads of companies he was contracting for. They’ve now investigated and terminated him. There’s even a small chance he’s done something criminal in signing off the airworthiness of a lot of planes.

I found out she’s pregnant again and is selling her house to buy a place with him. I don’t know how he’s going to afford it given he’s now a laughing stock in the aerospace sector.

I was today given her phone number.

Should I tell her?

What exactly do you want to tell her OP? That he cheated on you? Likely she will know. You’ll be the ‘crazy ex’ who refused to believe he had called it off.

That he lost his job? That he lied on his CV? They have been together at least a year by now would think. Won’t she know this already? I mean if you know will it have also got back to her? Has he already found another job?

I want to tell her that he’s lied about being a pilot, and cheated on her with me, and tried to sext me while she was pregnant.

His 16 year old son, his mother and step parents all believe he’s a hot shot test pilot, that’s how long and how thoroughly his fraud has been going on for.

This isn’t just a small lie on his CV - he’s lied to become a Professor, to be a Chartered Engineer, to be a Fellow of the Royal Aeronairical Society. He bought Freedom of the City of London and told them he’s an experimental test pilot.

He’s a contractor so he doesn’t go into an office every day. She probably has no idea that they’ve terminated their engagement.

He keeps another flat to ‘work from’ but actually that’s where I (and other women I’m sure) thought he lived.

If she buys a house with him, there’s a chance he won’t be able to pay his way because his name is trash now because I’m told people found out about his lies.

Definitely not. Now he is out of your life, keep it that way.

I would normally say give the gf the facts so that she can decide what to do with full information and so that you can move on with a clear conscience.

However, the man sounds very extreme. A sociopath? A psychopath? No idea, but I'd be worried he would be dangerous if backed into a corner. You need to keep yourself safe.

I think he’s definitely a sociopath. He claimed to have Asperger’s as part of his fake schtick.

She won't believe his "crazy Ex".
Just get on with your life and just wait for it to implode, it will even without your help

If you can share proof anonymously then do it.

Just send her the proof (anonymously) and leave it at that.

If he’s already been suspended for this then it’s likely he won’t have a job or money to buy a house with her anyway. You need to delete her number and leave this well alone. If he’s managed to contact you continuously whilst you’ve made every effort to block contact with him then this will just fuel his behaviour even further. Take some peace with the fact that you’re finally free and live your life.

I think for your own mental health you should forget about what you consider morally right and just step away. You sound very damaged (understandably so) and need to look for some peace in your life. Block and delete all of them (him, family, new woman etc), get some counselling and try to move on with your life. You're still tortured by this man & you're prolonging your own agony.

His career as a pilot. I don't know...if he commits crimes by lying about that , I know he cannot lie to any aviation company itself

I checked a job for catering and cleaning on airplanes and they need you police checks, 5 year personal and professional history etc

I think he’s lied to become a chartered engineer and competent person. These are protected terms.
If he has signed things off wrongly it’s going to cost the Government a lot of money to put right.

@RedditFinder she won't believe you, I'm afraid.

I do this, gather what you can that can't be linked to you. Drive somewhere you don't live so it's not postmarked to where you are based and send it to her.

You chose not to move on like you are choosing not to move on now

He can't be blamed for that

So move on

What if he goes berserk that you contacted her and comes after you?

Just throw her number away and concentrate on your own life /

It’s obviously an emotionally charged thing for you to do, not a neutral act which doesn’t bother you. You probably think it will be sweet revenge or some kind of closure. And while it might work that way for you, it might well not - don’t pin any hopes for anything on this. There’s a strong chance she won’t believe you, or will stick by him anyway. So if you do it, make sure to prepare yourself emotionally for that outcome and be savvy.

Also, you may need to take precautions in case she or he decide to shoot the messenger.

But if there’s a chance you can save another woman from getting financially shafted by him, or wasting years more of her life on him, then that would not be a bad thing to do. But it’s also not something you are at all obliged to do.

I agree, especially as you have documentation. I'd just send her copies (signed for, preferably at her workplace) and I don't think it matters whether you tell her who you are or even include a note. She's about to throw her lot in financially with him, she has children, this will ruin her.

Give her good reason to mistrust.

There seem to be some inconsistencies in this story, but in the event this is real you need to let this go and move on. You're the only one stopping yourself.

You are free. By contacting her you're inviting him back into your life to punish you. Even anonymously, he'll know where the information has come from.
You sound obsessed. I know he hurt you badly but your motives for maintaining any form of contact with her or anyone else regarding him are irrelevant. It all stops you from moving on with your own life and mentally tortures you.
You need to block him on everything. NC is the only way to go and that means not replying or reading any of his attempts to hoover you back into his life.
Therapy would probably be a good idea too.

I would want to know.

Yes, send her some evidence, anonymously

It might help her act on a niggling doubt she already has (eg by renting not selling her house when she moves in with him).

If I had such evidence then I'd want his employer to know. That is what I would consider important.

I would not focus on his personal or love life. You don't know what she believes or doesn't believe.

Do it anonymously

I’d be sending everything to the police never mind his girlfriend 🥴 .. let them tell her 😵‍💫

Can you find out her parents' address and send it to them?