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Original poster

He's moving to the other side of the world next week.

85 replies

cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:01

We have split, it wasn't a great relationship but had something for sure and good memories.

Hes decided he's moving across the world, plane ticket booked.

I know I'll never see him again but this seems so final, it's like I know he's gone forever from next week.

How on earth can I cope with this?

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:02

Been together 2 years for context.

He wants to meet before he goes but I think I'll be too upset knowing it's the final time.

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 05/08/2024 12:05

You will cope because you have to 💐

Don't see him again. No need to hurt yourself for his sake.

Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:06

Thanks. He thinks I'm being petty not meeting up and he wants to leave on good terms, I think it will set me back though.

It's just so final, I'm devastated 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:07

It feels like he's here now but next week he will be dead ( that's how it feels).

He says he'll never come back to the UK.

OP posts:
MounjaroUser · 05/08/2024 12:10

Oh he loves a bit of drama, doesn't he!

Does he even have a visa for the country he's going to? A job to go to? Doesn't he have to give in his notice? Sell his home or tell the landlord he's going?

Edingril · 05/08/2024 12:11

MounjaroUser · 05/08/2024 12:10

Oh he loves a bit of drama, doesn't he!

Does he even have a visa for the country he's going to? A job to go to? Doesn't he have to give in his notice? Sell his home or tell the landlord he's going?

OK what is he actually doing wrong?

Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:12

Hes given notice on his house, he has a tourist visa but then hopes to extend it. He works remotely so can live anywhere.

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 05/08/2024 12:18

he has a tourist visa but then hopes to extend it. He works remotely so can live anywhere

That's not how emigration works... You are lucky to be rid of this fantasist!

Olika · 05/08/2024 12:20

All this let's meet one more time to leave on good terms is just so boring. You broke up and he is moving out of the country. There's no need for anything else. If he wants a closure he should look for it within himself.

Original poster
cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:21

I am not sure about emigration laws but where he is going in SE Asia he thinks he can go out of the country to a neighbouring one for a day then come back and keep extending or getting a new visa, I think!

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 05/08/2024 12:24

He dumped you. And he’s leaving. Don’t pretend you had any choice in the matter or any importance in his eyes except as a mirror in which he could preen.

This is harsh but the only way out is through—through acknowledging that you liked him more than he liked you. That the relationship wasn’t just on again/off again it was bad, and therefore pointless as a relationship. A shoe with no sole. A car with no gas. A pen with no ink? Whatever: the relationship lacked what it needed to work. It could never work.

No meeting. Write one angry, weepy, letter snd burn it. Be thankful this time waster is out of your life.

KreedKafer · 05/08/2024 12:38

MounjaroUser · 05/08/2024 12:10

Oh he loves a bit of drama, doesn't he!

Does he even have a visa for the country he's going to? A job to go to? Doesn't he have to give in his notice? Sell his home or tell the landlord he's going?

Loves a bit of drama?!

Where's the drama? He's a single man who has decided to go travelling. I don't understand what he's supposed to have done wrong.

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/08/2024 12:41

cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:21

I am not sure about emigration laws but where he is going in SE Asia he thinks he can go out of the country to a neighbouring one for a day then come back and keep extending or getting a new visa, I think!

In fairness you used to be able to do that in Thailand and quite possibly still can. So other countries may be the same. People used to do a day trip over the border and come back.

dont meet up with him because he wants to. You are more important than he is.

KreedKafer · 05/08/2024 12:43

We have split, it wasn't a great relationship but had something for sure and good memories

OP, last time you posted about this man you'd been on and off with him, he'd been treating you like shit and you'd been reading his messages where he was telling his mates that he 'got laid' while you thought you were together.

Have some dignity and stop mooning over a man who made you really fucking miserable, shagged around and treated you like absolute shit. Just block him. He's a complete cunt. Then spend a bit of time working on your own self-esteem and sense of boundaries, because you deserve better than this.

Edingril · 05/08/2024 12:44

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/08/2024 12:41

In fairness you used to be able to do that in Thailand and quite possibly still can. So other countries may be the same. People used to do a day trip over the border and come back.

dont meet up with him because he wants to. You are more important than he is.

Edited
Show quote history

Sure she doesn't have to meet him but why is she more important than him?

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/08/2024 12:45

Edingril · 05/08/2024 12:44

Sure she doesn't have to meet him but why is she more important than him?

Show quote history

I just mean from her viewpoint her feelings are more important (to her) than his feelings. So she needs to look after herself.

im sure he thinks his feelings are more important but luckily for the OP he can’t make her meet him.

GladAllOver · 05/08/2024 12:45

Edingril · 05/08/2024 12:44

Sure she doesn't have to meet him but why is she more important than him?

Show quote history

Because she is the one who has been hurt.

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/08/2024 12:46

Why should she set herself back just to appease him? He doesn’t get to fuck her mental health over and then swan off without a backward glance.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 05/08/2024 12:50

cupsandcupsoftea · 05/08/2024 12:06

Thanks. He thinks I'm being petty not meeting up and he wants to leave on good terms, I think it will set me back though.

It's just so final, I'm devastated 💔

It doesn't matter what he wants, do what is best for you.

Lifestooshort71 · 05/08/2024 12:50

I disagree. Meet him and look at him and the dead relationship with new eyes. I don't see that he's done anything wrong as such - he's decided he wants out and whether he moves to Korea or Kingston-on-Thames won't make any difference will it? Meet up, accept the closure and move on (watch the last few minutes of Fleabag where he chooses God over her and see how dignified she is). Good luck x

Polarnight · 05/08/2024 12:52

Lifestooshort71 · 05/08/2024 12:50

I disagree. Meet him and look at him and the dead relationship with new eyes. I don't see that he's done anything wrong as such - he's decided he wants out and whether he moves to Korea or Kingston-on-Thames won't make any difference will it? Meet up, accept the closure and move on (watch the last few minutes of Fleabag where he chooses God over her and see how dignified she is). Good luck x

They've already split. Why meet now. That was the difference with fleabag. They hadn't split already

crockofshite · 05/08/2024 12:56

Definitely don't meet with him. He wants his ego stroked. Tell him you're busy.

Lifestooshort71 · 05/08/2024 12:56

Polarnight · 05/08/2024 12:52

They've already split. Why meet now. That was the difference with fleabag. They hadn't split already

Show quote history

Because op might feel better for seeing him? I know Fleabag was still hoping for a relationship rather than having one ended but, gosh, she was amazing!

eggandchip · 05/08/2024 13:21

No advice but i wish i could start fresh the other side the world blissful.

Rhaidimiddim · 05/08/2024 13:43

He wants a chance at one last shag, and to leave on friendly terms so he can call you for a place to crash when his money/visa runs out.

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