He's moving to the other side of the world next week.

[cupsandcupsoftea]

We have split, it wasn't a great relationship but had something for sure and good memories.

Hes decided he's moving across the world, plane ticket booked.

I know I'll never see him again but this seems so final, it's like I know he's gone forever from next week.

How on earth can I cope with this?

This.

Just tell him there's no point. No hard feelings but he's not someone you would choose a friendship with so no point in meeting.

Brutal.

But if I think about it, this is very probably the likely reason. Men don't care about leaving on good terms however they do care about the possibility of sex. Don't meet up unless he has something of yours thats valuable, eg laptop or granny's engagement ring. Clothes (and men) are replaceable.

EDIT - are you 100% sure he's not moving to the next city?

Totally this. He wants an iron in the fire waiting for when he needs it.

He’s decided going to live somewhere else is more important than you, and that’s fine. He does get to choose.

If you hang about waiting for him you’re a fool.

I'd see him. As a friend. Definitely no last shag. Meet for a coffee to say goodbye, good luck and remember some of your best times together. That way, you end on a happy memory with the potential to stay in touch if you want. It;s a kind of closure that leaving it raw can't achieve.

Maybe I'm just not strong enough then.

The thought of meeting up and him being lovely to me makes it all the harder.

Hes asking again to meet up today.

I'm sure he's going abroad, seen the plane ticket.

Don't be your own worst enemy. He wants to meet up because he knows how upset it's going to make you. He's a massive drama queen and he loves it. Toodle-fucking-loo to him.

Sure it isn't to 16 Yemen Road, Yemen?

I’d put him money on him coming back to the U.K. sooner or later.

Oh definitely, and contacting the op as soon as he does, for "old times" sake.

*an easy shag

So what if he does? He's taken a risk and will have had an adventure. I moved overseas 26 years ago, expecting only to last two years max.

Anticipating him going and you being potentially heartbroken may turn to relief as soon as he actually goes. BTDT

Not necessarily on a tourist visa. Many companies do not permit overseas remote working, due to complexities of pay/tax/residency and data security.

This. Or a goodbye shag.

Sorry, I have plans already. Safe flight.

🙌

Is the PP is correct and he was a cheat just leave it, cut contact. You'll be fine. He's not a friend. You need to move on and will. It might be easier if it's your decision to draw a line now instead of feeling like you're waiting for him to leave. If it had ended on good terms I'd be fine with saying have a friendly drink to wish him well on his way but not if he's treated you badly. Sooner you get on with the process of putting this behind you the better. the distance isn't important. Ive broken up from people down the road and never seen them around since (as far as I know they're still local or at least in country).

OP, I am sorry you are finding this ending painful.

But he has clearly demonstrated that he sees no future for your relationship.

If you don’t want to meet him, don’t! What’s the point. Just send him a very clear firm message. “Hi, good luck with your journey and future, from my pov there’s no point or benefit in meeting, so ‘ll just say good luck and goodbye and leave it there”.

Then block him and delete his number.

And don’t get involved in thinking about his visa or work, it’s all irrelevant to you.

You had some good times, had some troubles, it wasn’t meant to be, so wish yourself luck in your own future!

Actually, having read what an absolute knob rat he is I would say block and delete right now.

Just do it. Right now.

Oh for god’s sakes. Chain yourself to the radiator and give the key to a good friend with orders not to release you until he has left the country. You are honestly not safe making decisions for yourself.

Obviously some people and some people wouldn't meet him. You're in the don't meet him camp, which is sensible.

I dated someone who moved to New Zealand. It hadn't been as long as your relationship, but it was still emotionally jarring. We tried to stay in contact. It only made it more painful and it didn't change anything. I recommend putting your best foot forward and trying to forget about him.

You will forget him if you give it time.

Thanks everyone, you have no idea how much I want to meet him.

Then I think in 1 week he'll be in another country and won't just be able to pop round or meet me, you'll be gone, dead almost, not even the same timezone.

I'm hoping I will be but I can't see it. It doesn't seem real to me yet.

Hoping I'll be relieved that should say.

No he just wants to meet so he can waltz off with his conscience clear feeling he handled it all so immaculately . If you would find it hard you’re not obliged to polish his passport for him. Keep your dignity and wish him well, but you don’t need your nose rubbed in it with a physical farewell.

That makes perfect sense actually.

He did this to the last ex, wanted to meet for a coffee to part on friendly terms.

Honestly oP: life is full of surprises. He may turn up on your doorstep in six months.

You can’t take anything as final but death.

Just wish him well and get on with trying to move on. And things will unravel as they unravel.