He's moving to the other side of the world next week.

[cupsandcupsoftea]

We have split, it wasn't a great relationship but had something for sure and good memories.

Hes decided he's moving across the world, plane ticket booked.

I know I'll never see him again but this seems so final, it's like I know he's gone forever from next week.

How on earth can I cope with this?

And it wasmore likely for his sake not hers…

"Never returning to the UK" is not dramatic?

He apparently hasn't done enough research to even know how long and if he can stay.

He wants to meet a final time to "part on good terms?"
Does he think he's the hero in a melodramatic novel?

They already parted; they broke up. Really, he didn't need to even tell her he was leaving. Instead, he's made sure to accomplish what he wanted to do. He's ensured that OP will grieve for him and that he'll be on her mind again. Can't you see that this is all a big "she'll be sorry now"?

Not because he needs closure- just to leave breadcrumbs and know that she will be thinking of him.

Yes, drama.

Sorry it hurts but seriously it will do you good. If you are still carrying a torch then you really need a kick to realise it is over. Man moves to other side of the world: is there ever a better sign he is not that into you?!

It'll be easier to move on and find happiness now.

Thank you xxx

Well

Update. He moved and has been calling me daily for the last 5 weeks saying he'll come back if I say we can have another chance, crying down the phone most nights. Hid return flight was booked today but as I told him no, I have no trust he won't do it again a d I can't promise anything he's decided to stay.

Feel relieved actually.

Like fuck would he have come back if you'd said yes. He's 'never coming back to the UK' remember? More likely he wanted you to say yes, so that he could then say 'oh sorry no I'm not coming back' - to punish you for not meeting him to say goodbye the way he wanted.

Well done for saying no. Now it's time to cut contact with him - all these tearful phone calls every night are just feeding his ego. Your relationship is over. You do not need to be speaking to him every day.

Great! Now block him and don't look back.

I mean, he basically is dead to you and so let yourself grieve as though he died. My ex fiance moved to the other side of the world and I remember thinking, I would be getting a lot more sympathy if he'd died but functionally it's pretty much the same.

Congratulations on having the strength to say no. As the others have said, please block him. He's not a good or decent man.

He thinks he has decided to emigrate, not just travel.

Took the words right out of my mouth @MounjaroUser .

OP has stated that:

• he has given notice on his house
• he works remotely
• he (incorrectly) believes he can work in Thailand on a tourist visa by nipping over the border once every 90 days

So if he now comes home 'for OP's sake' she will have to house this twat as well.

Well I would hazard a guess he’s going to Thailand. I live here and his tourist visa will last 60 days he can then extend that for a fee for a further 30 days after that he will have to do a border bounce into Laos ( easier than Cambodia) if he is in Thailand. He also has to stay out of country for 2 days now it’s not same day anymore. He can only do two border bounces. Thai authorities have seriously tightened up its not going to be as much plain sailing as he thinks. It is also extremely difficult to get work here there are thousands of jobs he will not be able to do so that also affects the amount of time he can stay here. If he is over 50 years old he can apply for a Non O visa on retirement but he has to have 800000 Thai baht in a Thai bank account ( approx £17000 and he is not allowed to touch it). Use any of that money and he will invalidate his visa and will be booted from the country. If he tries to “play the system” and overstay he will be caught, very heavily fined and banned from returning for 1 to 5 years. He really hasn’t researched this very well by the sounds of it.

To be honest though I would just let him go by the sounds of it he hasn’t treated you very well and if he tries any of his relationship nonsense here he will be dealt with locally without the police being involved. That I can assure you is not overly pleasant. Move on you can do so much better and whilst Thailand is indeed a beautiful country you have to live here to see the dark side. His rose tinted glasses won’t be rose tinted for very long.

This is exactly what you should say.

OP, give yourself a shake. He was never very nice to you, wasn’t faithful, and you knew it was a crap on-and off relationshi even when it was ‘on’. Don’t let the fact that he’s off abroad turn this into some kind of star-crossed lovers situation.

He’s the same level of a bad idea whether he’s in Honolulu or Hartlepool.

Yes thailand.

Very interesting from pp who lives there about the rules thank you.

I would see him otherwise you'll have a lingering thought you never did.

So if he now comes home 'for OP's sake' she will have to house this twat as well.

That is a very good point. Take note @cupsandcupsoftea and block him before he really screws you over.

Just as an aside Thailand is changing the rules a lot and remote workers are started to get taxed on their income ( as well as being offered a five year visa (currently no idea of cost, availability or how this is going to be administered but suffice to say Thai red tape is a bloody nightmare). It will be even harder for him to play the system with visa extensions etc as he will have to produce tax documentation. This is a new thing and is being looked at process wise as we speak. Like I said those rose coloured specs aren’t going to be overly rose tinted.

So he wants to move abroad. He wants to say goodbye. Fine
You don’t have to agree if it doesn't work fir you.

It is true you won’t see him and he won’t be able to pop round. But maybe that’s for the best for yourself. You’ve split afterall.

As for his visa etc… it’s not your problem. Nor is it your issue if he does stuff that is illegal (like overstaying his visa) or of he can’t renew said visa. Or if he is actually allowed to work abroad like that by work (it’s actually quite complicated as he is then supposed to pay taxes where he lives etc….)
None if that are your problem anymore.

OP - your primary responsibility is to honour your feelings and needs, not his. Why meeting up if the split had already happened? He’s not going to change his mind. The biggest mistake I made after my previous relationship had ended was to agree to meet up with my ex a few years later, as friends. I witnessed a covert narcissist parade and it took me a while to shake off the feeling how stupid I was to say yes to seeing him.

Because she is more important to herself. Obviously.

For those posters who are responding to the original post, it's worth being aware that he has already left the country (the OP first posted in early August).

Well that didn’t last long did it??

Good for you to say NO. It clearly was the right answer for you (hence the relief).
Now is there a reason why you don’t block him or stop replying to his messages?

Hes now trying to play it down like it's just a holiday and he only booked as he was annoyed I booked one with my daughter without him.

Said a week in Spain is way different to this. Still saying it's my fault hr went etc he can't cope without me.

Seems to think he's some kind of hero as he's had lots of girls after him and turned them down, I should be really pleased about that.