Boyfriend’s comment gave me the ick

[Siyasiyasiya]

We were watching a programme on India and he said he never wanted to go because it looked “filthy”

I replied that was quite a bold thing to say about the whole country and he rowed back and said there were some areas that looked nice

but in a nutshell I feel quite put off by his point of view here

Kind of depends, some of India is what some people might call filthy. I watched a programme about the Ganges, it made the Thames look like Caribbean clear waters.

However I would love to visit India, think the culture, food, people, landscape would be incredible to experience.

It’s a shortsighted comment to make but you have to judge a person by more than just one comment surely?

However the ick is the ick. If you’ve got it then you’ve got it. RIP

Not sure what you're asking here but he made an observation and is entitled to his views, as are you. If his views dont align with yours then that shouldn't be a problem, you can both have differing opinions but if its affected how you see him and its given you the ick then it sounds like you're not compatible.

Then why aren’t you discussing this with him but posting about it on MN?

Only he is going to be able to talk it through with you

I just wouldn’t get uptight over this at all

Whenever I see anything about India on tv I think the same. It doesn’t mean anything deeper, it is just an opinion. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My DH and his family are Indian and have often said that India is "dirty". There are many things they love about India but they do think it's dirty. It's also very beautiful, I must add. I think your partner was just commenting on what he saw. I wouldn't get the ick over that.

Sometimes I feel that, in the race to be nice, we forget that the world is massive. And a lot of areas in some countries are, indeed, filthy. A factual statement is that parts of Indian are definitely filthy. It's maybe a well meaning but ultimately naive lack of experience of the world, I guess? To deny that these unpalatable things can be true.

For example, I'd say in parts of Bulgaria you'd get your pockets picked by prostitutes if you were a very drunk male tourist. That's factual. I'd say that in some parts of Japan, being gay is absolutely frowned upon, also factual. I'd say that there's parts of South America where you definitely should not walk about without a local to protect you. I'd say that Romania has terrible ways of dealing with looked-after children, and animal cruelty is rife. All true but all negative!

^^ that should say *parts of India , damn you autocorrect!!

It’s his opinion. He's entitled to have one and you are entitled to have the ick. Not sure what your question was, but it probably should be discussed with him.

I have travelled a lot but India was by far the hardest. It is dirty. The free roaming cows and the homeless would toilet on the street and I saw people washing produce in the puddles on the street. At breakfast in our hotel one morning there was a cockroach fried between our toast. I found it hard to trust food.

I got the worst food poisoning of my life (in Delhi- such a cliche).

It was a fascinating beautiful country, but he's not wrong.

I’ve spent a lot of time in India through work mostly Mumbai. And parts of it are very dirty as I polluted.

I would question the strength of your relationship if such an innocuous comment had given you the ick enough to post on MN

Are we really going to have a thread of people calling a whole country 'dirty' and 'filthy'? MN is lousy with racism right now and I have the fucking ick.

Were the images they were showing on the TV of parts of India that are very dirty? I think it's a legitimate comment tbh.. I'd personally LOVE to go to India but I'd totally understand if someone thought it would be too crowded or dirty for them as there are really parts that are incredibly crowded and dirty.. of course there's parts that aren't too. But if you compare it directly.. say Delhi to London. Yes Delihi is far dirtier than London (tho London is pretty dirty in parts as is any city) Delhi doesn't have the same type of infrastructure for cleaning. This isn't me making things up.. Delhi is regularly voted the most polluted city in the world.

Is it racist to say that India or parts of it are dirty? 🤔 or any country for that matter?

I am originally from a country that’s often referred to as 3rd world. It is unbelievably dirty - huge parts of it (even I say so myself), except the areas where you have the very very rich people. I’ve heard several times that it’s dirty, there’s corruption etc, I’ve never felt it was racist, but I’m probably mistaken…

Why do you think it's ultimately racist?

I’ve been to India and to be honest it is really dirty. I was truly shocked at the amount of litter in the streets and how many people were shitting in the street/on the railway line.

It’s also an incredible country, I actually loved it! But my god the litter, even in the Himalayas where I thought we'd get away from the litter, nope still there.

Plenty of people who have lived and worked there so certain Indian cities, and I tend to believe them because they're not bigots and they were equally critical of Brighton (and I have seen Brighton).

"Dirty" doesn't have to be used pejoratively. It can be a factual descriptor.

India has come on in leaps and bounds economically but they have a huge population and infrastructure upgrades plus social solutions will take time.

I'd love to go and see it first hand but - so far - I can't persuade anyone to come.

I know the temperature is running high this week, but everyone getting trigger finger won't help at all.

I don't know why I found the idea of litter on the Himalayas especially surprising - we've all heard about the mess all over Everest - but I did.

I suppose, one way or another, the whole globe is suffering from the effects of a century of plastics, the combustion engine and disposable this and that.

Did you do a tour of India in one trip? I'm tempted to just start planning something for 2026 and let DH choose next year's big holiday in a quid pro quo.

@MrsTerryPratchett "parts of India"..it's a factual statement. Parts are clean, parts are filthy. Just like the UK! Or literally anywhere.

Racism is, by definition, a generalisation that everything about a place, culture and people is bad. That doesn't seem to be the opinion on this thread. You need to be very sure that people are actually racist, before stating such bold incorrectness.

I stand by it, parts are filthy. Very very filthy. That's not a judgement on India's value, or lack thereof. And it's certainly not tied to racism in any form. Merely a fact. Every person with Indian heritage that I know would agree. Just like they'd agree the exact same judgement applies to the UK :-)

I know the temperature is running high this week, but everyone getting trigger finger won't help at all.

Yes, the temperature is high this week. So maybe leaving it for a week would be a good idea.

And now the thread will turn from 'ewwwwwww India' to 'what racism, there's no racism, people call London filthy, nothing to see here guv'.

So

Predictable

As an example, some parts of paris are filthy. It's well known and I wouldn't be upset with my partner if he said so. Equally some parts are clean and picturesque. Like many places in England.

Am I detecting undertones that you are thinking he is being racist with his statement? Is he generally like that? If not then it's just probably a throwaway comment.

Well yes London is filthy. It's my hometown and I'm very fond of it, but nobody would wax lyrical about how clean it is. Being a bit grubby throughout history hasn't harmed any of the major cities in the world.

Do you really believe the OP is dog whistling? Or I suppose it would have to be some kind double twist kind of trolling if she was really up to no good.

I think the hypersensitive approach just irritates people and does the recruitment for Reform and similar. You're in Canada aren't you?

I think this does potentially show some ignorance and disregard for other countries and people. Especially if you havent said much else about the country, did he OP? Maybe you could talk more to him about this, find out more about his views of this kind of thing in a light hearted way? Or just be real frank and open - best way to get rid of the ick imo. Could tbf also be a throwaway comment that didn't reflect him, very possible

OP has he traveled much?

Ever had reason to suspect him of racism? Presumably you wouldn't be with him if you had.