Ex wants to force children to spend less time together

[twisters123]

In a toxic divorce. Ex is a narc.

Ex wants the girls only on a sat and sun......BUT he wants the two girls (aged 8 and 10) to spend less time together when they are with him. In other words, he takes 9 year old for a sat , and the 11 year old on a sun.

In the past, he removed the two girls from me and kept them separated on the eldest's birthday. The youngest was left alone and "watched " by some neighbour while he took the eldest to a birthday party he organised.

Why would anyone want to do that ? Has anyone encountered this before ?

I think this is more sinister than limiting OP's free time.
He's a narc - with 2 children their focus is probably on playing together - he gets less attention.
Splitting them up, treating them differently and randomly - all narc behaviour. One child, and the focus is on him - the child is more dependent.
He's lost his main target - OP - now he is starting on the kids.
Divide and conquer, they will become jealous of each other's perceived gains. Argumentative.
He intends to disrupt, gain back power that he has lost.
I would be trying to cut down his contact.

I think he wants to ruin your social life

@ gardenmusic, yes, this is about manipulating each child and make them fight for his attention.

Having him in their life and him getting to treat them like this will set them up to find men like him for partners in the future.

Some work will need to be done with them so they don't make that mistake, professional work so they can heal.

Twisters, I am glad you can see it - though I have no idea what you can do about it! I am sorry that he still feels the need to assert his 'authority'.

I have to give PART 2 .

. I am actually embarrassed to mention this (and embarrassed that I married such a person ) BUT ex also has stated that his plan to administer EEG biofeedback on the kids ! That''s to pass electrical impulses alpha beta waves whatever on their brains. There is nothing wrong with DDs brains.

EEG biofeedback? What? How, why and by/to whom? He sounds unhinged.

Have you got that in writing OP? God help you dealing with him. 😢
I'd be looking to go emigrate to Australia.

He is emotionally abusing your children.
Take it very seriously.
Keep careful notes of everything.
Do the children want to see him?
He wants every weekend while you do the weekday grunt work.
Do not accept this.
Stop him seeing them and tell him to take you to court.
Protect your girls.
Report his actions to your GP.
Create a papertrail.
Self report to SS a out what he is doing to them.

I would advise you to talk to your GP and the school (safeguarding lead). The more you say the more dangerous he sounds.
Did you say that supervised contact is court ordered?

I am sure supervised contact was mentioned but i can't find it.

He's nuts.
You need to stop contact. Who is supervising his time with them?
Do you have this bio feedback nonsense in writing?

Right now DDs having supervised contact with ex under the watch of social workers.

Ex has filed into court his plans that the kids spend less time together and that he himself will do the EEG biofeedback because he has brought the equipment. It's like Frankenstein has appeared. I am doing everything to keep my children safe and fighting for supervised access only.

Well you have an interesting court hearing coming up.

Isolating the girls from each other and refusing to have them together. Would you like a red flag bunting?

Never mind his quackery which definitely needs mentioning because you do not consent to it.

Make sure the court has a full picture of what his intentions are.

Um, I truly believe he is mentally unstable. You need to speak to social services and set out what you have here. There is no way he should have unsupervised access to your girls. It is that simple.

He himself filed this into court? Does he think that will make him win anything? I mean, I have seen some major misconducts of justice, but I wouldnt say less time together was in any way in the best interest of the kids, and what the hell even is an EEG biofeedback?!?! And is he a medical doctor to be performing it? Whatever IT is???

Sorry, pardon, what? He's clearly mentally unwell and I hope that as he has put this in his legal submissions that he is never again allowed unsupervised contact with your girls.
I can't believe what I'm reading 🙈

Have you got this in writing from him? I’d be sending this to the social workers, no way will they sign him off for unsupervised contact if he plans to do that.

No way in hell I'd let that man anywhere near my children without supervision.

He is dangerous. Wants to do things without witnesses (the other child).

Probably isn't trained in that machine thing.

Nope. You'll regret it if you let him near the kids any more than the bare legal rights. He's nuts.

You need to do whatever you can to get written evidence of this. Does he reply if you email him? If so, email him telling him you are extremely worried about his intention to use his self purchased equipment on his children. Say you are not at all happy with his plan to carry out this EEG biofeedback. What training has he had/plans to have, what is he going to do with the results/findings?
Give him enough rope, save evidence then send it to the social workers, GP and school.
Speak to the NSPCC for advice.

I hope you have legal advice . Get evidence of his plans . Surely social services and the courts won't let such a loon have unsupervised contact

As an occasional one off, I think it’s important for parents to have one to one time with their dc. Dh or I often take one away to do something and the other stays home (e.g. camping, trip to see family, a sports activity). I take them on proper holidays separately and they love it.

But this is more about you never getting any child free time. He doesn’t need one to one time with children he already spends so little time with. He’s not full time parenting and doing this as a special treat for each of them.

All that aside, he sounds bonkers too.

You have to report this to the court before unsupervised contact starts. This is not normal. It’s frankly weird, and designed to stop you having any kind of break.

also - if there is any incident or he does anything that child reports back, it’s their word against his - but if there is two of them saying it he is outed .

Good grief OP. This guy is unhinged. He absolutely must be a narc if he’s petitioned the court with his intention to separate the girls and conduct brain electricity experiments on them. Who in their right mind would think a court would look favourably on either of those? Beggars belief. You must be so stressed. Do the girls even like seeing him? Sorry you have to deal with all this.

It's not about the girls that's why. It's about you and making sure you never have a night off as you'll always have one child at home.
He wants to make sure you are never child free. Narcs don't think about the children they think about to control the mother until the children become adults then it moves to them.
I've been there sadly