Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I saw a photo of my ex and now can't understand why I was so heartbroken!

58 replies

CriaBel · 30/07/2024 04:10

I thought I'd never get over this guy. We broke up 4 years ago when he dumped me over the phone after many years together. Took me about 1.5 years to get over him. Saw a recent photo of him and was shocked at his appearance - his face was very bloated - maybe this is from the amount he always drank, but I hope he's okay and wouldn't wish him bad, but I now can't see what the attraction was.

So really, I want to give hope to anyone who's heartbroken. People used to tell me I wouldn't feel like this forever, and it's true. I can see now I ignored the red flags and had a lucky escape.

OP posts:
Xxxxx2222 · 30/07/2024 05:44

I think this about some of my exes too! Was with someone 3 years, took 1 year to get over him. I now look at him and think what was I thinking 😂

CheeseWisely · 30/07/2024 05:52

I drove past my EXH the other day, first time I'd laid eyes on him for about 5 years.

He looks like a thumb, and one that's in dire need of a manicure at that.

Trinity34 · 30/07/2024 06:01

Had this experience once,dated for 3 years,no engagement, barely gifts, no marriage at all,maybe it was not relationship or I was in the clouds.Took a year to get over him and realized he wasn't the one for me even though he made it look like we are made for each other.
Before breaking he told me that by the time we met last time he had already got a new girl and it made me quite angry.
That guy never drank alcohol and always criticized me for taking a sip of wine durkng holidays.
His dad had trauma from the war and was very much of an alcoholic.thats why he got traumatized by this.

johnson39 · 30/07/2024 06:02

Love these, gives people perspective that time is definitely a healer and makes you see things and ex's for what they truly were, think the initial breakup comes
With rose tinted glasses and all the good memories, not the bad..,,

Highlighta · 30/07/2024 06:03

It's crazy isn't it OP. It's happened to me recently too.

I think the bubble is real.

I looked at this photo of my ex and had the very same thought as you, wtf was I thinking. Why didn't I ever notice that he resembles an egg before now.

johnson39 · 30/07/2024 06:06

Funny thing is thou I always think us women improve ourselves after a hard breakup and probably look better, would love to know if its the same from a man's pov or not , most of them provably regret thinking the grass is greener:

newnamethanks · 30/07/2024 06:10

It's astonishing isn't it? I look at some of my past partners and just think Why? How? But I wouldn't part with my children or swap them for different ones so maybe the universe decides that some people just have to be here.

Queenofheart · 30/07/2024 06:15

CheeseWisely · 30/07/2024 05:52

I drove past my EXH the other day, first time I'd laid eyes on him for about 5 years.

He looks like a thumb, and one that's in dire need of a manicure at that.

😂😂😂

chocobaby · 30/07/2024 06:26

Same. Time is really a healer. I saw my ex after 5 years at my son’s graduation. He has really let himself go. I on the other hand had something to prove when we ended our marriage. Price to myself that I can become someone without him. Got a great job, moved into a nice place with my kids, I keep working on my revenge body… and he’s just fine and added a load of weight, doesn’t look after himself etc. my kids said to me ‘you both are like night and day’.
This is also why women should t stay stuck in unhappy relationships or marriages. It would be tough at first but you come out on top!

oneniltothem · 30/07/2024 06:35

Saw a video of mine the other day where he was talking about his business. He's lost all his hair got a really shiney head. He's done something to his eyebrows 🤔 tattoo maybe and had Botox because his face is not moving. He looks like a fat bald white Jafar from Aladdin 😂 He also looked absolutely miserable.
I worshiped this guy and he treated me like shit years of therapy to get over it.

Exactlab · 30/07/2024 06:37

CriaBel · 30/07/2024 04:10

I thought I'd never get over this guy. We broke up 4 years ago when he dumped me over the phone after many years together. Took me about 1.5 years to get over him. Saw a recent photo of him and was shocked at his appearance - his face was very bloated - maybe this is from the amount he always drank, but I hope he's okay and wouldn't wish him bad, but I now can't see what the attraction was.

So really, I want to give hope to anyone who's heartbroken. People used to tell me I wouldn't feel like this forever, and it's true. I can see now I ignored the red flags and had a lucky escape.

It took me years to get over my ex. It wasn’t a photo that ended any form of attraction/attachment - it was finding out he left the mother of his two children and was dating a woman who looked like his mother.

I had a realisation that the breakdown of our relationship had more to do with him than me. That he was incapable of any healthy attachment. I had it in my mind I wasn’t attractive or fit enough. The woman he left was beautiful - blonde, tanned, fit and young.

Exactlab · 30/07/2024 06:38

oneniltothem · 30/07/2024 06:35

Saw a video of mine the other day where he was talking about his business. He's lost all his hair got a really shiney head. He's done something to his eyebrows 🤔 tattoo maybe and had Botox because his face is not moving. He looks like a fat bald white Jafar from Aladdin 😂 He also looked absolutely miserable.
I worshiped this guy and he treated me like shit years of therapy to get over it.

Thank you for the mental image 🤣

WillowTit · 30/07/2024 06:41

an ex of mine who i held a candle to for a long time has totally let himself go
i mean i am not an oil painting but he is definitely plump!

PetrichorSoul · 30/07/2024 06:42

I’m only attracted to muscular men so it was a shock to see my teenage love that I always carried a torch for. He’s now quite overweight and looks 20 years older than he is. Boner gone!

lilacnapkin · 30/07/2024 06:46

hahahaha! I recognise myself in your post too. I had an ex I was absolutely heartbroken about when he ended it. No idea why as he treated me like garbage. I cried for months and months and months. Thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. He was absolutely gorgeous too.

A few months ago he came up as a suggested friend on FB and I gasped out loud. He looks like absolute shit now. He used to rely heavily on his looks and always flirted with other women in front of me when we were dating, loved the attention etc. Well, not any more. He's lost his looks completely- he's bloated as heck, seems to have developed a huge massive spot in the middle of his forehead, is going bald, and he looks miserable in his photos. He's also divorced by the looks of it and it didnt work out with the woman he left me for.

A better person wouldnt have felt smug but I am not better, so I did, - I felt very smug 😂

NoraLuka · 30/07/2024 06:55

Ex-boyfriend from when I was a teenager, we’ve been Facebook friends for years but I never deliberately look at his pictures. One popped up on my timeline the other day and he’s aged of course but OMG he’s gorgeous! Probably better looking now than 20 years ago. That was the funny thing though, even though he’s gorgeous I don’t fancy him in the slightest. I remember being 19 and crying because it felt like the actual end of the world that he didn’t love me, I wish I could go back in time and say it was going to be ok.

Psychoticbreak · 30/07/2024 07:14

CheeseWisely · 30/07/2024 05:52

I drove past my EXH the other day, first time I'd laid eyes on him for about 5 years.

He looks like a thumb, and one that's in dire need of a manicure at that.

I cant breathe 😂😂😂

velvetcoat · 30/07/2024 07:25

Yeah it's quite shocking to look at someone who looks awful now when at one point in the past you thought they were amazing. Happened to me too.

I dont know why people always say men just get better as they age, they absolutely bloody dont. My ex also looks like a thumb now whereas all the women I know my age still look great- have looked after themselves, make an effort, stylish, well groomed, confident etc

Its a complete myth that men just get more "distinguished" - unless distinguished means "sack of lumpy potatoes"

Original poster
CriaBel · 30/07/2024 07:34

oneniltothem · 30/07/2024 06:35

Saw a video of mine the other day where he was talking about his business. He's lost all his hair got a really shiney head. He's done something to his eyebrows 🤔 tattoo maybe and had Botox because his face is not moving. He looks like a fat bald white Jafar from Aladdin 😂 He also looked absolutely miserable.
I worshiped this guy and he treated me like shit years of therapy to get over it.

Mine also didn't treat me well at times, could be critical etc. I also had to have therapy. This man has a long line of exes. so good luck to his future prospects!

OP posts:
whataloadofhotair · 30/07/2024 07:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

JaneFrances · 30/07/2024 07:41

CheeseWisely · 30/07/2024 05:52

I drove past my EXH the other day, first time I'd laid eyes on him for about 5 years.

He looks like a thumb, and one that's in dire need of a manicure at that.

What does that mean?

whataloadofhotair · 30/07/2024 07:42

Sorry wrong thread. Reported

Alwaysdarkestjustbeforedawn · 30/07/2024 07:44

I saw my ex a few months ago - the one who treated me like absolute dirt, but said all the right things and then just changed his number one day and never spoke to me again. I cried for a year, in my eyes he was the perfect guy and we were meant to be (based on his words not actions)
Anyhow…..i saw him again 2 years on, when he begged me to meet him. Genuinely, not one feeling, it was as if the whole thing had never happened.

He looked like a deflated sack of spuds, as he stood on tip toes trying to give me a hug. I had longed for this moment for the year I was grieving and when it happened, I was mildly repulsed.

I now dread any contact he manages to make with me, rather than long for it 😂

Johnthesensible · 30/07/2024 07:50

Actions of the past are reflective of who we were then. As we change, those actions seem less about who we are now.

Coconutter24 · 30/07/2024 07:54

“but I now can't see what the attraction was.”

From the sounds of it his appearance has changed since you were with him. Most of us change as the years go by, you were obviously in love at the time and had you still been with him you might not be so surprised by his appearance as he would of gradually changed and because you’re in love you probably wouldn’t judge him.

Swipe left for the next trending thread