People who met someone and had a baby 35+

[LosingHope3]

I'm currently as single as can be. I have been unsuccessfully online dating for years, gets worse the older I get. I had relationships in my 20s which ended. I am approaching 35 and panicking I'm never going to have the opportunity to have a baby.

If anyone was single at 35, met someone and went on to have a first baby, can you please share your story here? Give me hope. I want to save the thread if I get some responses to look back on at times like today when I feel things look bleak and hopeless.

Turned 36 in the October of 2019, met him in the December, he moved in with me 'for lockdown' the following March (and never left), got engaged June of 2021, married in June of 2022, our Son was born in June 2024 and is currently snoring on my lap!

Don't give up hope OP x

Met partner in Early 2020. Now 37 and pregnant with baby number THREE :-O

Met DH online dating at 38. Had I been younger I probably wouldn't have agreed to a second date as he was really shy and the date seemed quite hard work but everyone was telling me not to be so fussy and so I thought I would give it another shot and I am so glad I did. He is honestly the most supportive, loving and generous man ever. I feel so lucky he picked me.
We got married when I was 40 and I had DD at 42. It took me about a year and a half to conceive.
I was the last of my friends to settle down and start a family so I can remember the sadness and feelings of 'why not me'.
One drunken night I even resorted to making a vision board and trying to cast a love spell ( I have never admitted that to anyone 🤣).
Please try and not lose hope.
Good luck

Sorry if it came across wrong but the vey sentence before I said that I knew I could have made the most of life without them, ie that I know I could have had a life I would have valued single without kids. I also acknowledged that I didn’t take it for granted at all that I would be able to have kids at that age. So if you read my post in context I don’t think it is shallow, couplist or unsympathetic.

Being open that it was clearly so hard for me that I’m still having nightmares over twenty years later was meant to show sympathy for people finding it hard, not in any way to imply that everyone feels like it’s a bad dream , just that I found it really hard.

And then I finished my post by saying ‘I hope you find what’s right for you’ I deliberately didn’t say I hope you get a man and kids because I absolutely think many different ways of living are valuable to the people living them. I think in the context of the OP’s brief my comment was clearly meant to be supportive.

Met my DH aged 36 at a BBQ. He was very chatty and made an impression on me so I sent a friend request on FB. We started talking from there. He had just left a relationship and I had been single for about 3 months.

We were married two years later. Had first baby at 39 and second at 41.

Im now 48 and still happily married with two beautiful children.

Mine were. We started trying for a baby a year after we net, just after he proposed.

I got together with my now husband in 2016 aged 32 and had a baby in 2023 when I was 38 😁

I was pretty much single between 25 and 35 ( a series of disastrous encounters and flings). I met DH at work when I was 35 and got married at 39. I wasn’t sure about children but had a child at 40… nearly 41. Now in our 50’s. Probably would have had another child if we’d started earlier but actually I would have been fine not having children at all.

My friend caught her husband cheating with his secretary 🙄 when she was 34. I remember her sobbing saying they’d just started trying for a baby and just it’s too late to meet someone else.

18 months later she met a guy who drank in her local pub.

She had her son when she was 38 and her daughter aged 40. They’re now 18 and 16

Met DH at 36, had DS in Dec at 41, got married last month, about to try for dc2

Came out of a long-term relationship at 34, gutted that I had wasted my best years. Focused on myself, career and hobbies, built a good life. Decided to put myself back out there and went on loads of dates with guys met on dating sites - met DH after a few months and we clicked, I was 35 (nearly 36). Married at 37, started TTC straight away but it took a while to get pregnant (we had given up hoping). Finally welcomed DS four years later.
My advice to you OP is to focus on yourself, live a full life, do what makes you feel happy. My DH said that the thing that attracted him to me was that I didn't 'need' him, that I was managing quite well by myself thank you very much, and so the fact that I chose to invite him into my life made him feel like winning a prize!

Met DH at 35. Knew fairly on he was a keeper. Moved in together after just under a year, and started ttc at 36 - we both knew we wanted children and might not have much time to wait. As it turns out it took us a while (and a little help with clomid). Didn’t think the baby was going to happen, planned a lovely wedding and then got pregnant 8 weeks before so married and DD born both at 40.

I’d have liked a second, which hasn’t transpired - and I do get sad about that sometimes. But equally we didn’t try especially hard - we didn’t want to go down the fertility treatment route again and actually the older DD gets the happier I am with how things are. She’s the wonder of my life, and well worth the wait. DH is pretty wonderful too.

This thread is bringing so much positivity and hope for me too. Thank you OP and for everyone sharing stories! (37 coming out of 21 year relationship..). I've grieved what I thought I could have but you all bring hope xxx

Thank you so much ladies, your stories are giving me hope ❤It's great to hear there are people out there who had children over 35. As it stands right now at 34, I'm feeling very left behind and left out as most people I know became a Mum just after or a couple of years after 30. It's all I've ever wanted and its so hard not knowing if I'll ever achieve my dream. I have never even been pregnant before so it's all so scary hoping and praying it will all work out.

I think the media can scaremonger women that if we haven't had children by 35 it's all over but you ladies give me hope that it can still happen.

I met my husband at work age 36, got together aged 37 and still together aged 53 and never happier. Decided that children weren't important for us but could have if we'd wanted to. This is the happiest time of my life.

I met DP at 34, had baby at 40. Hoping to have another.

Similar! Struggled along in a bad relationship from 28 to 33. Thought I’d better stick at it as I wasn’t getting any younger and maybe all relationships needed work… But it had to end. So I was 33, single, and needing to find somewhere new to live… it wasn’t the best!

Met my now DP soon after and instantly clicked. Now aged 35 and 7 months pregnant. I learned a lot from my past relationships, chose well (finally) and we’re having a great time. He is 40. This age was just the right time for both of us!

Relative married a long term friend who turned into a relationship at 38. Had first child within a year.

Met DH 35 miscarried three time 37, so,41. No IVF as well it just didn't happen right for me. (Thanks NHS postcode lottery)

Freeze your eggs!! I wish I had done this as I could have had IVF at 42.

Correct ✅

Hi, I'm 40 and 4 months pregnant with my first child. I met my partner when I was 38.5. he is amazing. I never panicked, I really believe in what will be will be.

You cannot force these things. All you can do is put yourself out there and be yourself.

Hi lovely, don't despair, it can happen. I started dating my husband when I was 35, and I got married at 36, had my 1st baby at 36 and second at 38. I feel lucky, it all worked out. Had a lot of relationships but never one that was totally right, or the feelings completely mutual. I was feeling like you, but my husband turned out to be someone I knew vaguely through sport, but out of nowhere I suddenly realized I was attracted to him, when I'd never thought about it before. I was also attracted to him because of his enthusiasm and matching ambitions and goals.

I met DH ( a friend of a friend) at a New Years Eve party when I was 36. By 38 we were married and I was pregnant. We had our 2nd child when I was 42.

Had my heart , and to a certain extent, my spirit, broken badly by cheating ex at 30. Spent 5 years single and did lots of online dating and just tried to enjoy life. Big focus on career and got about 3 promotions during that time. Anyhow at 35 went on what must have been my 40th first date with an online guy I thought I wouldn't fancy, I liked him on first date but wasn't sure and on second date we really clicked - and moved in together 9 months later. Had our first baby 3 years later at 38, got engaged and second baby at 40!

My only regret is that I wish I could have been happier in the 5 years I was single but I did struggle at times and probably was a bit angry from time to time.

Met DH at 34, pregnant and married at 35, little one born at 36😊 it does happen a lot more than you realise