Question for women who aren’t make-up/hair/dresses/nails/surgery type of women

[idontwannabeanythingotherthanwhativebeentrynabe]

One, no shaming to women who are about those things.

Two, I do make sure that I’m showered, brushed, clean and fitting close, in case there is going to be accusation of me being a slob.

And finally three, and the actual question.
How is, or was, your dating life?

I’m mostly ignored by men and haven’t had any luck and I fear my only option might be to change myself (I know, never a good idea) to be even seen by men.

So, I just wanted to see if I’m alone in this.

Each to their own of course, but I don't get why women don't wear makeup especially if they are single and interested in meeting someone. There is no doubt that tastefully done make up makes someone look more physically attractive. Unless of course you're one of those people who has naturally flawless skin, pretty etc and doesn't need make up then fine. Also make up just makes me feel a zillion times better, I never understood why some women just don't wear it.

I rarely wear make up, no fake eyelashes, nails, no filler Botox etc.
hair is usually beach hair.
don’t shave my legs, under arms etc

No shortage of men wanting to date tbh, it’s just I don’t want to date them!

It’s also a great way to test out if a guy is a keeper or not - if they have an issue with hairy legs shows you who they are

Why do so few men wear it then?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

I just listed the things that I don’t do and wanted to see how other women like this made it in the dating world.
That’s all ☺️

Been married now for 26 years but I've always been of the opinion that you can't put lipstick on a pig so I just make sure I'm clean and tidy and don't really bother with anything more.

I had a wonderful time during the years in my youth before I met my husband and never had any problems at all in attracting boyfriends. I've had many men who have clearly been attracted to me since I married as well. I've been to a hairdresser maybe five times in my adult life (I'm 66 now), have never had a manicure, never had cosmetic surgery, and dress entirely to please myself. I do wear mascara and lipstick, but have never really worn more makeup than that .

@S0livagant because make up isn't conventionally worn by men? It's a female thing. Obviously men can wear it if they want to but I would venture to say that alot of women would be turned off if their boyfriend started wearing lip liner and mascara etc. I personally wouldn't date a guy who wore make up, it would be a major turn off for me.

There is no doubt that tastefully done make up makes someone look more physically attractive.

I'm going to fix this sentence for you.

"There is no doubt that tastefully done make up can make someone look more physically attractive to some people. "

Some people don't like the way it feels or looks. Some people don't like not looking or feeling like themselves. Some people just aren't interested in it.

I met my DH while I was at work, in a shop. I'd been there the entire day, dragging stock around. Knowing that was what was ahead of me for the day, I didn't bother with make up and just pulled my hair into a ponytail. He was attracted to the real me, and who I was, not what I looked like "done up".

He picked me up for our first date from that same shop, in my work uniform, after a 10 hour shift. All I had time for was to take my hair out of a ponytail, and it's mad and curly naturally (I do regularly straighten it), so that's who he met and who he fell for.

I've done make up, lightly, for events etc since then and he always says "ah that's better, she's back", when I take it off. Because some people prefer the true natural look.

Because I have no idea how to apply it.
Because even when others have done my make up I feel and look like a clown.
I hate the way it feels on my skin and it makes me incredibly self conscious. Even more than usual.
Make up doesn't change who I am or what I look like underneath, so why put myself through something that makes me feel like shit to make someone else feel better?

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos fair enough, I just know I look so much better with make up. I really don't think I would get any interest without it, I'm not ugly, I just look quite non descript and invisible without make up.

My DH and I were running pals before we hooked up. I am very low maintenance and generally more interested in a walk/run, but I vividly remember trying really hard to make an effort on an early date and as he leaned in to kiss me towards the end of the night he sort of hesitated... We could say anything to each other because although a new relationship we were already great friends, still he was a bit abashed when I asked him if everything was ok... 'it's nothing, honestly nothing, just... I prefer to kiss you without all that stuff on your face' 😱 He said it so kindly though 😂😂🤣.

30 years later, still together, he definitely meant it, but thankfully that suits me down to the ground.

Hooking up with someone who judges you on appearance is quite a tough gig to keep going (esp if like me, you're just not that into it).

Get involved in things you like doing or are willing to give a try. Things that take a bit of time to allow connection with other participants, but first and foremost are things you enjoy - hiking, cooking, drawing, volunteering, whatever - hopefully you cross paths with a like minded soul along the way who appreciates you for 'you'.

I wear natural makeup that is imperceptible ( female colleague was astonished to learn that I wear eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow as well as blush and highlighter) and comfortable baggy dresses. Don't do nails or hair (hair is brushed), definitely no botox or fillers.

So to the male gaze I am definitely not glam as most men would not clock me as wearing makeup. I met my DH at university (makeup was just tinted moisturizer and tinted lip balm and eyeliner then and dressed for comfort then as well with baggy dresses) and we have been married since graduating from uni..had only one boyfriend before DH.

I don't think any men has been interested in me other than those 2 men. But tbh like with many things you only need one good one..

I have always been an outdoor person, so my social life revolved around that. As a result, it was more important that my clothes and gear were appropriate for whatever sport or activity was happening. Heels, make up etc were always totally irrelevant.

My first date with now DH (married for nearly 35 years) was climbing a mountain. As an experienced mountaineer, he would have been very unimpressed if I had put either of us at risk by not having suitable clothing and boots.

But if it makes someone look more physically attractive like you said? I personally find it a turn off on women and dislike on myself too. It seems dirty to me.

I once read something that I liked and helps me, because I don't think I'm that attractive, whereas DH is and sometimes I think people wonder why he's with me. He thinks I'm gorgeous and I don't get it.

Anyway, the thing I read was:

You're not unattractive. You're just not your type.

@Usernamesarenoteasy that's fair, each to their own. I do think women 99.9 percent of the time look way better and more attractive with make up on. When I have put my pics up on a dating app, not a chance would I get a quarter of as many likes , if I put up a photo of me with just moisturized skin and no make up. I'm pretty sure I get so many likes because the make up enhances what I already have in a tasteful way.

I have frequently read OLD profiles with men saying they want a woman who “takes care of herself” and listing that as being made up, hair done, sexy clothes, slim.
This is from men who in no way look like they put any effort into their own appearance.
It would be funny if it wasn’t true.

I doubt they get snapped up very quickly.

Cleavage - I can't believe you have tried going around flashing cleavage and men have ignored you.

I have to say I didn't get interest with or without makeup.

What got me interest was putting myself in a situation where I knew I was meeting a man with very similar interests to me who was keen to have a long term relationship/marriage. Rather than just hoping it would happen if I looked attractive enough on a day to day basis.

My interests are art, history and classical music. DH and I had our first date going to an exhibition at the National Gallery. Once we'd spent a while talking out the exhibition (neither of us liked it) and showing each other our favourite pictures it was obvious to both of us that a relationship would work.

Similar to @FourChimneys going on a date mountaineering, my DH would not have been impressed with someone who couldn't talk art and culture to him. Looks and appearance were v much secondary.

Never wear any make up, let myself go grey early, no high heels etc. Plenty of partners, happily married. I do get a good hair cut, just makes me feel better.

Just because I couldn't be arsed.

Happily married and been together since I was 24 and probably more into make up and dresses. Never been in to surgery or fake nails though

I am a guy and I am only attracted to women that don't wear make up etc.

I am good looking enough to get approached by women sometimes but I get zero interest from the glam types but I am not interested in them either.

No issues here, when I was dating. But my type is more of the low maintenance men, ie not interested in a gym goer, someone who grooms themselves loads etc.

For my second date with my OH we went go karting, a few days before I'd had a chemical peel (I had acne) On the actual date I obviously was unable to wear any make up at all and when I took the balaclava off that goes under the helmet half of my face peeled off with it 😂 So if that didn't put him off I don't know what will.