Question for those in happy long term relationships

[Isanyonereallyanonymous]

For those of you who have found ‘the one’, or whatever your version is of that, how soon did you know that they were that special person, different to previous partners and what was it about them that made you know?
curious and just after some happy stories!

Pretty much immediately. But I pretended I didn't know for a bit!

One thing I always go back to was me being cautious about going home with him and he said, "I understand, I have a sister". Understanding women's need for safety was big with me.

We took it slowly to begin with, as we were young (22/23) and didn't want to get tied down too early. We got engaged after 5 years and have been married for over 20 years now.

About 6 months. I was actually with another long term boyfriend when I met my now dh and I just could not keep away from him, even if it was cheating. I realised that whenever I was with the boyfriend I wished I was with now DH. There was no comparison, he changed my life and completed it.

Together 10 years now, married 3.

Instantly. I felt like I'd come home. As I got to know him what I learned about him just reinforced it. He's kind, decent and places high value on treating people fairly. He loves his mum and family is really important to him. He's hardworking. He's calm and steady, and I've never seen him in a bad mood. He's just mine and was always waiting for me I think!

Immediately. I had never experienced anything like it before, he turned round and smiled at me, that was it. It was also for him too. When he proposed a few months later, he said he was ready to do it after 2 weeks.
That was over 25 years ago.

Sounds silly but for me it was the night I met him! I'd been single for 8 years prior, been on loads of dates but never liked anyone enough to see them again. Then the night I met my partner I messaged my WhatsApp friends group chat saying "I've met the one"! He's still my favourite person in the world and the most incredible dad to our son and dog!

Straight away I knew.
He was funny, kind, handsome, had ambition, we wanted the same things out of life.
Nearly 40 years later, still together.
Two adult dcs
He does work away from home through the week, maybe that's the secret 😂

Within a couple of weeks. Last relationship, sadly ended but I knew after first date it was special and said I love you within 3 weeks, then she booked to meet me for a few days on my holiday (staying with my parents) which was crazy but totally natural and the right thing to do.

When she smiled at me I just melted. Also, I didnt care about about the fact she was 'not my type'.

He was extremely, obviously, decent and kind. It was the norm for him to call when he said he would, speak kindly to me, be in regular warm contact with his family, make a big effort with his little nieces and nephews etc.

I actually didn't fancy him that much to start and I was so used to power struggles and one upmanship in my relationships it took a while to get used to his kindness.

Now we are 15 years in and wildly happy still.

I don't believe in 'the one' or soulmates, and I didn't have significant exes before my DH. I knew over the first year or so that he was the right person, it wasn't immediate, I don't think it can be - you need to get to know someone.

When we both stopped being our best selves and realised that each others faults weren't deal breakers.

Straight away. Within four months we were living together and we married the next year. We have been together for 23 years so far. It hasn’t been easy and times where I have thought I am done. But now we are happier than we have ever been. I’m very lucky.

I couldn’t believe there was someone who was weird in the same way. We just understood each other. 18 years down the line our weird still matches 😂

We were very young, but we both knew it was serious straightaway. I had just signed up to spend the whole summer abroad in 3 months' time and for the first few weeks, we kept saying we'd have to discuss what we'd do when I left. We never discussed it, because by the time I left it was obvious we were staying together.

It just worked. He got me and I got him. We said "I love you" within a month. I couldn't help it. We didn't get engaged or discuss marriage or anything for several years because we were so young, but it was serious from the beginning.

I told my now DH that he was going to marry me one day when we were 18/19 and not even a couple yet. I just always knew

I don't think there's such a thing as the one. Of the six serious relationships I had before DP, I could have lived life happily with all but one of them. The others all ended because the timing wasn't right. Either outside factors were pulling us apart, or one or the other of us wasn't mature enough.

Luckily, by the time me and DP got together we were both in a position to properly to someone. I say luckily, because 11 months in a child appeared out of nowhere!

I knew he was different from the very start but we were only young and just having a good time. Neither of us were thinking too much about the future. About a year into the relationship, I think we started to think we had something more than just having a good time. We moved in together after 2 years and I suppose it was seeing how well we still got on when living together that made us think it could be forever.

I'm not sure really what made me 'know'. He was always very caring, thoughtful, funny, confident without being cocky and was genuinely interested in me and what was going on in my life. He made me feel like a priority. I liked that he wasn't scared to talk about his feelings and that he communicated like adults should if we had a disagreement. I liked that there were no games, he was just very straightforward and honest.

I honestly don't know. But we both knew almost at once. I know that is incredibly unhelpful.

All of this for me too!

But most importantly, it was - and still is - just so easy compared to anything I had ever experienced. We are complete opposites but bring out the best in each other and, as cheesy as it sounds, are each others best friend. I still get so excited to see him every day I am driving home from work 😊

I knew the first time we out for dinner, went home and told my family I'd met my husband, 11 months later we were married 😁
I liked that he was very independent, sounds silly but he also came across as a man (my ex didn't work, let me struggle to pay the bills etc.), he's very calm in a crisis. He's also everything I thought I'd end up marrying when i was at school, even down to how he looks and his hobbies and interests

Yeah, straightaway, felt so comfortable. Defo the "one".

I think pretty quick, we were 17 & 18, been together 14 years married for 8, two kids 6 & 1. Just very lucky a high school relationship that lasted. I think you either grow up together or grow apart and we were the former.

Same. Like I 'knew' him.

Within about 6 months I think, although I had a very strange jolt when I clapped eyes on him the first time. He oozed charisma but, let's just say things were very complicated so it was a while before we were able to actually form a relationship.

After that we moved in together after 6 months, engaged after 2 years. Had a tempestuous spell - mostly about money - and agreed to part in year 4, but just couldn't imagine life without one another so not only did we get back together within 24 hrs of being apart, but we got married 6 months later. Have been married 21 years.

He can be grumpy, impatient and stubborn, but he is also kind, generous, would do anything for anyone and he's steady and reliable. He's lovely to children and the elderly!

Edit - forgot to include that he is incredibly hard working.

Pretty quickly. Id come out of a fairly abusive relationship and the comparison was stark, over 15 years on he's still perfect, loving, respectful, a fantastic father and just an all round great guy. Whatever anyone says trust me there are still decent, hardworking, courteous men out there, they do exist!