Question for those in happy long term relationships

[Isanyonereallyanonymous]

For those of you who have found ‘the one’, or whatever your version is of that, how soon did you know that they were that special person, different to previous partners and what was it about them that made you know?
curious and just after some happy stories!

After about a month. We lived 40 miles apart and he kept coming back to see me every week without fail. A few weeks in, his car was off the road and he was taking 2 buses and a coach to come see me. The level of dedication! We are now married and have been together 12 years. He still puts in 100% effort.

Very quickly!
We just got on so easily straight away, no awkwardness. And fancied each other. And had similar ambitions etc.
I stayed the night after our 3rd date and never really left…. I kept my place for a few months but only ever popped back to check on things or get more stuff.

I think with previous boyfriends I was asking myself “are we a good match?” Or “I wonder if this is going to be serious?” type of questions. With DH I just knew (I know it’s a cliche) and never really questioned it.

it’s been 13 years and we’re married with 2 kids now.

We were mid twenties and I knew within a few dates that this was someone I could see myself ending up with. We moved in together after 5 months, married after 3 years.
Been married nearly 16 years now.
It's not perfect and I don't think I believe in "the one" but we're still happy.

What you don't see here are all the people who did have love at first sight and would have sworn the partner was the one but didn't end up together.

To put it differently, "love at first sight" and "being sure he is the one" doesn't guarantee long term success.

Try starting a thread asking - you thought he was the one but it ended badly.

This is such a good way to explain it! I still get butterflies when I see DP or when he walks past me in the kitchen and kisses my neck or touches my arm. He makes my heart race but also is completely safe and dependable and like you say, is just home to me 😊

For me it wasn’t straight away, it was actually through the hugs. Feeling safe and at peace like I’d not felt before. Also when he dropped his guard and stopped trying to impress me so I could see his quirkiness, oh and also laughing properly together, feeling comfortable lazing around and watching TV. That feeling of ease, peace and companionship.

This applies for me. The first night I met my ex partner I messaged a friend convinced id found the one. It was a strong case of lust that lasted about 6 years longer than it should have 🫣😂
However, now older and a bit wiser, I can see that and far better understand the qualities I want in a partner and I’m very happy waiting until I meet someone with those qualities. And if I don’t then that’s ok, I’d rather be on my own than with the wrong person!
A lot of those qualities are ones people are mentioning here.
And yes, that’s a fair idea for a thread but I thought a nice positive one about relationships would make a nice change!

Im loving reading all these different stories, thankyou everyone for sharing them and please keep them coming :)

Good luck op, I hope you find 'him' one day. There really are many thoroughly decent honourable men out there. I'm married to one, and I have raised one.
I didn't believe in 'the one' either, until I met mine. No fireworks, just peace and utter contentment.
6 years of lust sounds like fun though 😉

I found it quite sad reading these as until 8 years ago I would have been saying similar things- (married 20 years at that time) unfortunately found out about a bunch of shitty disloyal things from 11 years previously quite by chance. We are still married-- and he's incredibly sorry I know, but it certainly killed the 'specialness' for me and I've never felt quite the same if I'm honest- I'm far more cynical too

I knew within 6 months. Dh and I met working abroad in what might be considered a ‘developing country’ (we were both expats but from different parts of the world). I was assaulted and robbed (lots of street crime there) about 6 months into us dating. He literally never left my side after that. I developed what I can only describe now as PTSD and pretty much had a breakdown. Dh pretty much took care of me until we eventually both decided to move back home (first to one country and then back to our respective home countries while we sorted immigration issues out). He was an absolute rock even though we were still so young (he was 21 at the time). When we moved home, we both knew this was for a lifetime and it just took a few extra years to put the plan in motion so we could be in the same place together. Been married 15 years now with 2 dc and he is still my rock.

We were friends for 7 months before we got together (at uni, I was 19 in second yr, he was 20 in his 1st yr). I think we both decided quite quickly that we were going to be together long term, but we were still young.

We got engaged after about 3 years and married after almost 5 years. Been married 30 years this year. Been through a lot, mainly poor health for me and our dd2, but somehow we just keep on pulling together and we love each other now more than ever. I know that makes me sound 🤮 but it's true!