Question for those in happy long term relationships

[Isanyonereallyanonymous]

For those of you who have found ‘the one’, or whatever your version is of that, how soon did you know that they were that special person, different to previous partners and what was it about them that made you know?
curious and just after some happy stories!

I didn't have the love at first sight or head over heels feeling that I had come to associate with feeling anxious, insecure and unworthy. We just agreed to see how it went and it never stopped moving forwards. It was completely different to anything I'd ever had before, he is my safe place.

I knew the minute I saw his face, which was difficult because I was on the point of becoming engaged to one of his work colleagues. Fortunately my boyfriend dumped me a few months later.

There was a second point when I really knew it was good as well. It was when I was going home from a date, and realised that I liked myself exactly the way I was after being in his company. That felt good, and I liked it.

He was intelligent, funny and gorgeous and I was young and stupid.
We've been married 26 years now.
We got married three months after we met.

Frankly, it was dumb luck it worked out in the end.

I can still remember when he walked into the room at a work event nearly 20 years ago. There was no reason for it at all. We hadn't even been introduced.

We were married to other people and trying to get over our partner's affairs. That was kind of bonding...

Like someone else said, I felt like I had come home. I would have moved earth and heaven just to be next to him. Still would.

Makes no sense really.

Exactly the same here!

We didn't even date properly at first, just hung out as friends with others. Then we started doing things on our own. Eventually I realised we were basically never apart and talked to each other about anything and everything. It was a friend asked if we were engaged. Strange way to start a relationship perhaps but we're together going on 40 years soon.

Instantly.
Literally the night I met him. Him the same. X

We didn't love bomb but we knew and from a few weeks in admitted we knew.

After four months of dating my partner, I told my friend he was The One and that was bang on! Still together 14 years later, and recently tied the knot. We were friends for about two years before we got together though, which I think helped.

Things felt so easy and natural with him. He was kind, thoughtful, calm, beautiful to look at and had different life experiences/heritage to me, which I was fascinated by...

I knew the evening we met. We’ve known each other for 20 years now, married for nearly 18 of them.

I had always been the one to end any relationships but, after our second date, I told my Mother that I would never be the one to break up with such a wonderful person. After our third date I began to imagine us being together forever.
Happily married for 30+ years.

I met my husband when I was 18 and had no relationships before him. I knew he was the one when it started to upset me when family referred to him as my “first” boyfriend as if they were implying there would be more. I realised I couldn’t imagine a future without him and I really wanted him to be my only partner, not just my first. We’ve been together for 8 years now and are married with a child. I still have no desire for any more relationships other than with him.

I met my boyfriend not long after I got with my previous boyfriend as an ex friend of mine is with his brother and we met when she introduced me to her boyfriend. We became friends and were friends for the whole 7 years I was with my ex who turned out to be a coercive abusive dickwad who hated me having friends. After I split with him I planned to stay single but as time went on realised I had developed feelings for my now boyfriend so one day while we were messaging each other I asked him if he wanted to be more than friends. We have now been together coming up 7 and a half years and waiting on getting a, place together (been bidding 2 years) and plan on getting married and having children in the future.

Date number 2. Everything was just so easy - no games or wondering if he'd call, we both wanted it so everything fell into place. That was 16 years ago and it was unlike anything else I'd experienced (I was 35 and had had 2 previous long term relationships). When people asked 'how did you know?', I just did - one million per cent!!!

I had an instant attraction when I saw him. We were inseparable from that moment and things happened very quickly. It was a feeling that he was "the one" we have been married and together for over 20 years now. Still very happy and very attracted to each other and in love.

Yes you have ups and downs but compromise is key to any relationship. I had relationships before but knew they weren't "the one" and never wanted to move in or commit to them. I was swept away by my husband.

This. The feeling of it just being right and finally being home.

i love talking about how DH and I met.

We lived in quite a small town. I was newly arrived due to work. I was driving to work one morning and I saw this man walking down the street. I had this thunderbolt thought; 'That is my husband'.

I could not get his image out of my mind. About 2 or so weeks later I met him at a party and we never spoke but I was noticing him. I went home after that night and said to my flatmate 'I have seen the most beautiful man'. At that time he was married but separated and I was with someone but separated.

About 4 months after that we met at a work's do. His workplace and my workplace had been invited. We went out for our first date that night. The next day I moved in. He is in his 70s now. I am in my 50s. We have been together 20 plus years.

The other day he walked into the kitchen and took my breath away at how truly beautiful he is. I need him in my life. We have had our monents of course. The first 6 or so years after DS1 was born were really touch and go because DH was bloody hopeless and I had awful PND. But worked through it. And now DS1 is 14 and DS2 is 12 and we are doing okay.

within 3 months . Then for def when i saw how he was with my child . Been together 2 decades . Im a sahm but everything is shared .He also saved my life last year - cant really dump the old got now!

goat even 😁and i cant imagine my world without him. Hes my best friend

We had chemistry as soon as we met. He was a friend of my then boyfriend. We kissed about a week after meeting & I dumped my boyfriend the next day. 30 + yrs later, we are still very happy
dumped boyfriend is my husband's business partner, so I see him most days. I definitely picked the right one all those years ago.

Within the first few dates. I came away from the first date really smiling and excited to see him again. I came away from our third date thinking wow this could be something really special. After a few more dates I just knew he was the one. I was 31 at the time and had quite a few relationships before but had never felt that way about any of them before (I thought I had but I then realised I hadn't.

I was a fiercely independent very young woman at the time. I was very career minded and a strong feminist. I had lived with my ex for a while but I just couldn't commit to marriage and babies so I left. I had decided that I didn't need or want a man in my life. The thought of being tied down made me shudder.
Then a much loved colleague of mine begged me to agree to a blind date with a guy she knew. On paper, he was my complete opposite in every way, and definitely not my type. I went along as a favour to my friend tbh. I met him for a meal and I was utterly blown away! It was actually quite scary for me to feel the way I did. As another pp said, it's like coming home. I felt like I'd known him forever. It took all of my strength not to shag him on the first date. Our second date lasted two days! It took us two weeks to admit it to each other, he had that same feelings for me. He also felt quite confused by it. I had never wanted marriage or kids before I met 'the one' We moved in within months and were married 2 years later. Our families were horrified and the speed of our relationship, and that we are complete polar opposites in every way. We've been married now for 24 years with 3 dc. We are still complete opposites, but it works beautifully. It hasn't always been plain sailing, but our connection really does get us through anything. He is the best dh, dad and life partner I could wish for and I didn't want any of that until I met 'him'.

We just clicked and from the moment we got together we always enjoyed each other’s company. It’s never been awkward - we met and got married in under a year and have been together 40 plus years now.

But it hasn’t always been easy. The years of bringing up young children, struggling for money, trying to build careers - we had some dodgy moments. But we always felt it was worth working at. To anyone in those tough years now, I’d say hang in there if you can. It gets easier and you have a whole shared life together.

It was a very slow burn for me. That lustful compatibility was wonderful. The fact that he connected with me, even though our backgrounds were so different and our families made no sense to each other, was wonderful. But what made me see that he was The One was when I asked awkward questions about our possible future together and he unhesitatingly engaged with the question rather than deflect or run away.

He was a lovely, stubborn man with a ridiculous sense of humour and solid personal ethics, and he supported me in whatever I aimed for. And that has never changed.

So interesting to know other people have experience certainty at first sight! Really makes you wonder if all that stuff about planning our lives before we're born is actually true.

Straight away.

He felt exciting and made my heart beat faster/ I lost my appetite around him - and yet at the same time he felt 'safe' and like home'.

Together 36 years, married for 34.