Where can I find a husband?

[Topsysmum24]

I've been a single parent since I was pregnant and my child is 12 now! I've had a few casual relationships during that time but nothing serious because I haven't had the time to invest in a relationship.

It's felt like I've been in survival mode these past 12 years, trying to get by, trying to raise my child, trying to pay off debts, trying to improve my education, trying get a career established. Never any money for hobbies, travel, or much socialising.

As a result of the above, I don't have many friends. The friends I do have are married and only really know other married people so there is no one they can set me up with (I've asked).

I'm now in my mid 30s. I have a masters degree and I'm making progress in my profession. I'm finally doing ok! I went to a trendy fitness class today, it felt so good to do something fun for myself.

Now I have more time and less stress in my life, I'm ready to meet someone. I'd like to expand my social circle too but I kinda know how to do that.

But where can I meet someone for a relationship? Where do people meet nowadays? I'm on Bumble but most of the guys on there seem pretty uninspiring to say the least!

I'm looking for my equal. I want the usual things like kindness, love, genuineness. I want someone who is ambitious and enjoys the work they do. I don't want a rich man to sponge off but neither do I want a poor man - I'm bored of struggling financially, I want an easier life. I'm doing well creating that for myself, I want a man to build that with me. I want someone I feel physically attracted to, someone who is good fun and who can have a laugh.

I want something serious, I don't want to mess about. I want the loving husband, nice house, dog, maybe even another baby. I want what everyone else (seemingly!) has.

Where can I find what I'm looking for? Where do attractive, single men in their 30s hang out?

I'm not sporty at all! Things I'm interested in seem to be more female dominated so I'm unlikely to meet a man in a hobby group. My career is (again!) female dominated. I've just started a new job and there's only two men in the whole building!

@TheKookyJokerif they're obviously not interested you apologize and walk away.

Surely a pub is a possible venue to meet a single guy?

You can put out approachable body language you know? As a woman and a man, quick glance, eyes meet, smile see if you get a smile back. The world hasn't changed that much.

Since when?

Also I’ve been asked out in Waitrose - Friday evening I think it was!

The internet has stolen many human interactions for the time being.

I refuse to let it steal smiling at a hottie in the pub.

From a distance. "No personal space invaded"

No refuse to let it have this as well.

I was chatted up in the frozen veggie section at the supermarket a while back.
Very married.
But no offence taken. Quite flattering really.

I second paid websites. I met DP (married in all but name with a DC and Ddog) 12 years ago on eHarmony. Two friends met and married men from Elite.

Meanwhile, I’ve got a friend who has been on Bumble for 3 years and whilst she meets lots of men and some progress to relationship they are all short lived.

@frozendaisy , Ordinarily yes, but visual impairment. Impossible to detect inviting body language. Nightmare.

Not suggesting you plonk yourself down and say
"Alright darling how are the carrots?"

Or take a book.

She goes to order a drink, would you not smile and ask "good book?" There's your opener, if she's interested she will reply with something that indicates an opening for further conversation. "not their best work, but decent enough for a summer's evening, do you read thrillers?" Etc etc

Boom one conversation started

If you are both interested

If she's not interested
"Yeah it's good, i like reading in the pub i get more peace here than at home"

Boom one conversation over before it began

Can anyone really take offence at that?

If so you know what better to find that out sooner than later.

There are some groups hat organise all sorts of social events for single people. In Birmingham there's Social Circle I think and also one in Manchester. Running clubs or park run seem very sociable places and lots of people in their thirties. If you don't run, you could volunteer some weekends to help there.

Good examples. London though, people don't like people.

"good book? Will check to see if it comes in audio"

It's not offensive it's really really not

Well since 2010 or so. Is it not the case that women have been clear that strangers trying to initiate random conversations in public is awkward and intrusive? There's a plethora of content online about this.

They're completely right on this of course- I wouldn't want strangers talking to me either.

@frozendaisy , I'll try, for you, thanks. Tough though.

@frozendaisy Or take a book.

She goes to order a drink, would you not smile and ask "good book?" There's your opener, if she's interested she will reply with something that indicates an opening for further conversation. "not their best work, but decent enough for a summer's evening, do you read thrillers?" Etc etc

... take a book to the pub, and then ask a random woman if it's a good book? If the man is in possession of said book, would it not be for him to tell the woman if it's a good book? Never mind.

But if someone smiles at you, and you are ACTIVELY looking for a partner, and you think they're attractive on the outside at least, so smile back, where is the problem in that?

The OP is looking for suggestions to find a husband.

Single men, some at least, can be found in pubs.

I am not talking the sleazy, stuff. But the "oh my god he looked at me his eyes were invading my personal space" fine whatever, Iam sure a decent, attractive,kind, respectful man would leave the woman alone.

No the internet doesn't take this as well.

You as a woman take a book to read, a protection if you like, so you can look around, or retreat into the pages if need be, see who's out and about and possibly single, and attractive.

I fail to see the problem. If you are looking.

@frozendaisy But if someone smiles at you, and you are ACTIVELY looking for a partner, and you think they're attractive on the outside at least, so smile back, where is the problem in that?

The OP is looking for suggestions to find a husband.

The issue with the "smile" thing is that men, and people as a whole, generally try to avoid staring as this can be interpreted as rude or confrontational. And nothing is more weird than an unwarranted smile from a man.

I get that OP is looking for a husband, but this is why apps and websites are strongly recommended. Everyone on an app or website has signed up for the same reason, so you don't have to worry that your first message is being directed at someone who isn't thinking about, or looking for, dating or relationships.

I have to say these blokes in their thirties who expect to meet someone with no sexual history are either:

1. Hanging around convents too much.
2. Have unrealistic expectations.
3. Need to be reported to social services.

@SingleDadReally , couldn't have put It better.

There are just as many creeps and bitches online as in real life

Just as there are many people single open for a relationship no on dating apps.

Have a look at the online dating board, 3 messages and "dic pic" at least in a pub 3 lines of conversation doesn't usually amount to a willy being whopped on the table!

If you prefer to only communicate at first online then that is your choice but there are other, enjoyable, productive ways to meet people without feeling threatened or like a piece of meat.

Accepting not everyone online is a player is kust as much a leap of faith as accepting in real life that not every smile interaction is an invasion.

Online dating apps are a business, they don't care about their individual users. Public houses are a business. Both are places to meet people. It's just another, not to be feared, option. If you want to take it.

@frozendaisy The only way it would possibly work would be if OP initiated all the conversations with men she liked.

@SingleDadReally
They definitely need to be on some kind of watch list.

@shuggles

Everyone on an app or website has signed up for the same reason

No they haven't! That's a very naive standpoint.

My DS met his gf a couple of years ago on Plenty of Fish. I know he dated a few women there before he found his now partner. No idea if this site is good or not.

They sign up to meet people for purposes that fall under the umbrella of dating, relationships, and companionship.

Why else would they be on the app?