Boyfriend’s tv crush

[Fictionalcharacter28]

**just to start by saying I realise this is a very minor issue but interested in what people think

I’ve been with my partner for around 6 months, going really well so far - he’s loving and respectful and generally a great person

we’ve been watching a tv show together that he loves and I also enjoy. He’s also made several (lighthearted) references that he ‘loves’ the main female character - who is very attractive and also very different in appearance to me. I get the sense a large part of the reason he likes this show so much (second time watching) is because of his attraction to the main character - and much as I want to be totally fine with this, I have started to feel a bit weird/insecure when watching. Something about watching this other (admittedly fictional) woman he’s attracted to that feels a bit masochistic, and I’m tempted to suggest we watch a different series instead. But I know he’d then be curious why I’ve suddenly gone off the show, and I’m not sure how helpful it would be to bring up my feelings on this when it’s undoubtedly a me problem? Should I:

1. get over myself and watch the show (I do enjoy it!)
2. pretend I just don’t like it anymore and suggest something else
3. have an honest conversation and accept I’m going to sound a bit whiny

My TV crush is Susanna Reid never felt the need to crow about it to dw and she will have her own,we all have our wee daydreams.
As pp said he could be testing what you'll put up with.

Did you ever watch vikings?
I thought Ragnar was played by the same fella who plays Jax initially!

It’s childish of him plus it feels like negging. He’s made it awkward for you to complain about it but I feel it’s boundary pushing. Why should you put up with that shit? I wouldn’t. Have a conversation about it. It’s ok to say, I don’t want to hear about your crushes on other women, whether they’re in the office or on a show we’re watching. And let him know it puts a wedge between you and makes you feel less into the relationship.

Respect yourself - you’re uncomfortable with this for a reason @Fictionalcharacter28

Different perspective to most sorry, but I do this to my husband about Ryan Reynolds all the time 😆 He is also the complete opposite in appearance and personality to my husband. There is no malicious intent to it, I just really fancy Ryan 😅

Of course it’s just playful fantasy. The point i was trying to make, was that I think you should be able to talk to your partner in the same way you speak with your closest friend.

Is it the actress or the character he loves?

I can’t be the only person that can find an actor in one role attractive and in another completely not!

they are fictional. It’s easy to love someone who is so perfect that even their flaws are romanticised

100% this

Is it the actress or the character he loves?

From speaking to male friends, it's the physical attribures of the actress theyre actracted to and fantasising about having sex with them/thinking about them when wanking.

The character might enhance it further for then but it's actress they're attracted to.

I don't think men romanticise the character...

This would be a non issue for me. Another story if it were real women. I’d ignore it. Or if it really bothers him tell him.

I doubt he 'loves' her, just finds her attractive, in her role.

It's not that long ago since Colin Firth was causing comments when he emerged from the water in Pride & Prejudice. I doubt all those women were rushing to end their relationships because of it.

You're allowed to think things/people are beautiful or sexy without actually wanting to do anything.

I’ve been in your position. It’s really annoying. Next time he mentions his school boy crush, just say, “I know what you mean. I can’t turn the TV on without lusting over someone.’ Look him straight in the eye and say, “every single programme.”

I think keep going on about this actress might be done to get a rise out of you which makes him pretty insecure. Saying the above will probably put him in a tizz. It might ruin TV for him forever 😀

I'm one man who bucks your stereotype.

Can quite easily fancy someone in one part, but not in another. As an example, Alyson Hannigan. Fancied the crap out of her in Buffy, but she did absolutely nothing for me in How I met your mother, because her character was quite an unpleasant human being.

Or Anna Torv in Fringe. She played two different versions of the same person (alternate universe stuff), one I was attracted to, one not.