Oh lord. HOrrible situation all round really. A bit of a mess.
He has admitted to you that he did it, which was probably not easy to do. He obviously is incredibly insecure. Kicking him out, is not going to help that feeling at all. I understand how you feel about being betrayed. But really, it is not actually that terrible a thing to do, is it. In the big scheme of life, it just is not that bad.
you both have huge issues going on here. You have discussed things about your relationship to friends, but not with him, in the first place. This in itself needs addressing really. You are not being open with him, which I suspect he was aware of, and hence feeling the need to look.
The feeling of jealousy can be such a horrible, consuming, irrational feeling. It literally eats you up, and makes you feel quite ill at times. It is horrible to feel jealous, with or without justification for it. Its a vile emotion to experience, on either end of it. None the less, it can e quite uncontrollable if you are the one feeling jealous. Its based on in security, almost without exception. You should try and understand that a little better. Trust me, you do not choose to feel jealous.
He really seems to have some serious security issues with you, that need discussing. Not having him there, is not going to solve these problems.
I think you ought to call him, calmly and ask him why he felt he had to do this... tell him to come home and talk! Don't let your marriage be over, over this, he's your husband, he deserves more than this, more of a chance to explain, to talk, to understand your reasons for being secretive.
Seriously, think about this one, why did he need to find out stuff for himself? Why did you not talk to him?
It is a invasion of privacy, however, you share your lives together, surely, there shouldn't be such huge secret things between you. It not entirely healthy imo...
I'm terribly insecure myself. I never would look into my DH phone, email etc, mainly as I do actually trust him, but more because, I'd Hate to ever find anything, in the way I did with my ex husband. I wasn't even looking for anything with my ex, but came across it anyway. he was having an affair. It devastated me, and I swore I'd never ever want to find anything accidentally or intentionally again.
sorry, i've gone on a tad, I just can't help thinking that it was a bad move to kick him out, that it will not help thigs at all, infact will make him worse.
I think you ought to get him to come back, and make it tonight if possible.