How did you know your partner was a good 'un?

[Dogmum47]

Just that really. How did you know your partner was a kind and trustworthy person, what were the green flags? I haven't had much luck with my previous dating history and long term relationship so looking for a bit of positivity that I might meet a good man! Anything to run from might be handy too in fairness 😂

I found we were able to compromise on things.

He had a similar sense of humour.

He was kind and attentive.

We've been together for 25 years now.

When my car broke a few weeks in he signed me up for a car on finance as my credit score was crap.. Thanks exh... And my ddog loved him... She was a good judge of character..
Bit dd's bf on the hand. Turned out he was a cheating scumbag..

He wrote excellent letters (pre-email/text message), was great to work with (if he said he would do something, it was done), and he had good, longterm friendships with women. But his cleverness was what swung it.

He was kind when I was ill.

He was quiet, clever, easy going, generous, kind, clearly adored me and I figured he'd never let me down. Then I met his dad, saw where DH got all his good qualities from, and realised I'd definitely found a good one. DH and I have been together 36 years now.

My DH is a 'fixer' and has been since our very early dating days. I remember him first coming to my bachelorette flat and commented that I had a few framed pictures on the floor in a corner. I didn't think much about it then the next day he had hung them all when I popped to the Shops. He's not great at the emotional stuff but will fix anything that's broken without being asked, especially if it's something important to Me or our DCs.

But did he hang them in the right places?

We were in Big W and I saw a large TV on a really good offer and went and bought it. We got the TV outside and realised it didn't fit into my car. I thought he'd complain to me because my exh would have but I stead he just smiled and said he'd go and get his car as it was bigger. He carried TV to Costa got me a coffee and said to wait whilst he drove my car to get his car to get TV back. I remember thinking he's helping me and not angry with me even though I should have thought about size in my little car at the time.

@Subfusc 100% They were so straight and equal distances between them, he must have known even then I like things in order!

We just found everything easy when we got together. No dramas, did boring things like food shopping together. We just clicked.

I joke that we’re a boring couple, but we love each other and in over 20 years we still love simple things like night time cuddles.

So many moments, but this was one: We had been together a couple of months when I ended up in A&E on my way to work. When I was discharged he left work in the middle of the afternoon to pick me up from the hospital, took me home and stayed with me for an hour or so until I felt ok to be on my own.

I asked him to do me a huge favour and wait in my flat for delivery of a large furniture item that I had scored a huge discount on (I was skint after buying an ex out of the property and he’d left the place in a state with no furniture) whilst I honoured a prior commitment to a friend. It was a hugely cheeky ask.

Not only was he happy to do it, he scrubbed the bathroom to within an inch of it’s life whilst waiting, let himself out and I came home to a brand new sideboard, perfectly positioned in the hall and a shimmering bathroom. He literally cleaned up another bloke’s shit for me, because he knew things had been rough. After I’d finished crying, I thought to myself, I’m an idiot if I don’t marry this one. 8 years on, he’s even better than I imagined that night!

For a minute there I thought your DH had bitten your DD's boyfriend's hand... 😂

I stayed over and my period started and it got on the bed. I was mortified, he shrugged and said ‘I need to change the bedding anyway!’

Lots of good aspects became obvious quickly but on our first date he helped an older lady with a full shopping trolley carry it up some stairs. He clearly did it automatically without even thinking and afterwards we joked that he’d paid her to be there so he looked good 😂 He was kind when I got ill not long after we met and it all just felt easy and comfortable right away.

He just did what he said he would. No games, no backing off, no cancelling. Made plans and stuck to them. I remember never really feeling nervous about seeing him, only excited.

Immediate gut instinct. Cheesey but true. (35 years married, knew within a couple of minutes. So did he)

When he met my dogs (bearing in mind he had no dog experience). One head butted him in the balls and, as he doubled up, the other licked his face and he cracked up laughing (while quite probably in pain). Yeah, that's a keeper.

Are you married to my husband 🤣🤣. He fixes everything...we even take a big toolbox on UK holidays and a small one in our suitcase on foreign holidays.

When he would call me to arrange dates rather than hiding behind text messages.

When my family tried to criticise me and he immediately stuck up for me - even when I wasn’t there to hear it myself.

Despite being in a position of power, mucked in with everything and helped others.

Specific to the way he was with me, was very clear about what he wanted, no guessing games.

I first saw him going past my house multiple times every day, and found out he was caring for an elderly relative near by as well as working full time. It showed me a loyal, decent man before we’d even talked.

Dogs seem to know if someone isn’t genuine. Maybe body language or something we excrete when lying. Someone I know invited her new man to her flat and her docile dog would not let him near my acquaintance. The dog was if he got close and eyed him warily the full time. Turns out he was married and the pooch knew he wasn’t genuine. In contrast the dog loved the man who became her ‘Dad’. When the decent man came in she was delighted and showed him her toys!

Myriad of things already noted here. He isn't huge on the emotional front but will do absolutely anything I need / ask without complaint.
Is a man of his word. Sees things around my home and just repairs, helps, does without being asked. This is in huge contrast to EXH who would leave everything to me to do (pay workmen constantly) and need to be nagged and cajoled into things and it was always a dramatic show when he did.
He works with elderly patients and is genuinely kind, patient and respectful to them which I've witnessed daily in the six years we've been together.
I always recall he asked if I felt ready before we slept together which I found trusting.

I was married but carried the bulk of everything. This feels so much easier, more equal and I don't feel burdened. I feel valued, respected and loved.

My two children adore him and viser versa.

We hadn’t been going out for very long and my son was hospitalised, he was due to stay in for three days, when I got home he’d done all the washing (I didn’t have the heart to tell him the cleaner would have done it on day four), a food shop and organised a cat sitter for when he was on a long day at work so she would still get her lunch.