I need to quit my job don't I?

[crabcod]

I'm married but recently (last year) started becoming attracted to a colleague.

The job isn't good for my career but I'm finding it difficult to leave as I fancy him.

We both have young dc.

I don't hate my dh and nobody knows about my feelings.

He is senior than I am - he's never going to make a move is he? And I will need to leave.

Or you could just behave yourself and act like a professional person.
Of course, if you have zero self control then yes, you should probably quit your job and look at why you are unable to

I haven't done anything. And I am acting like a professional person. I have feelings is all I'm saying.

How well do you actually know this guy? Because are you sure it's not just a bit of infatuation with someone in an authoritative position perhaps? Or if you do have genuine feelings for him I would look at addressing what you're not happy with in your relationship to be considering other options

If you want him to make a move then yes you need a new job and to have a closer look at your marriage. If the shoe was on the other foot what would you want your husband to do?

I think we've all had that work colleague in our workplace who we find a bit dishy, it's a natural instinct but it doesn't mean you have to leave your job tho.
Depends on how much you like this guy and if it's becoming an obsession. I wouldn't go to work parties etc as the alcohol might make you overstep the mark.

Well if its just feelings then I don't see why you would have to quit

I would definitely look for other jobs now.

@Hoppinggreen because he is the only reason I'm staying. It's like I'm waiting for him to make the first move.

Is he single? What makes you think he will make a move on you?
Sounds like you'll be going into work everyday disappointed that he hasn't, which isn't why we go to work really.

He's not single.

Are you a teenager? No? Then stop acting like one.

Get a grip, he is not single and he isn't interested in you so he won't be making a move. For the sake of your husband and this mans partner, get a new job or grow up.

You have a husband you ‘don’t hate’ and reading between the lines you’re hoping your colleague will make a move.

You either need to quit your job or quit your marriage. Although, I suspect quitting your job won’t solve your problems in your relationship.

You could just stop having those feelings.
This is a choice. People pretend they have no control in these situations but they absolutely do and can get a grip if they want to.

No of course he’s not going to make a move.

I think you need to leave your job, and your marriage. You may not hate your husband, but you obviously don’t love him if you’re waiting for someone else to make a move on you.

Even if he did make a move I don't think I would leave my husband. I have made a commitment to him.

Yes leave. No good is going to come from that situation.

Why on earth would your husband hold someone who doesn’t love him to that commitment, though? Leave so he can find someone who actually loves him.

Love changes after a while. It's a commitment. I do love and care for him.

The least you can do is tell him what you’ve told us so he can decide if he wants to stay with you or not.

You might have 'feelings' for somebody at your next workplace ... you could ne moving jobs constantly!

Yeah I need to think about it all logically.

You need to leave. If he does make a move it sounds like you’re not going to say no. Then trust me it will all end in tears, tears for you, tears for his partner, your husband, any children impacted by this. We all have people in our lives we find quite dishy from time to time but it sounds like you’re holding back your career and life so you can see this guy every day. Start looking for a new job, it really will be the best thing in the long run. Unless you want to end your marriage via an affair. Read a few posts on here and you’ll see how hard it is when affairs ruin marriages. The effects are felt by many. It’s not worth it, it really isn’t.

It’s like I’m waiting for him to make the first move.

@crabcod, you’re hoping for the opportunity to cheat. You’re hanging on for the chance to harm your respective partners and children.

Your H signed up for monogamy and expects your fidelity, which does not include your staying with him while having illicit play time with others. He doesn’t deserve to be made a fool of.

Leave the job and either work on your marriage or divorce.