I need to quit my job don't I?

[crabcod]

I'm married but recently (last year) started becoming attracted to a colleague.

The job isn't good for my career but I'm finding it difficult to leave as I fancy him.

We both have young dc.

I don't hate my dh and nobody knows about my feelings.

He is senior than I am - he's never going to make a move is he? And I will need to leave.

Your commitment to your DH includes being faithful to him emotionally.

Fantasizing about a coworker and hoping he will make a move is disloyal and hurtful if your DH knew about it. Smarten up and focus on your marriage.

And if you can't properly commit to your marriage emotionally, then you need to leave. It does sound as though you would have an affair if your colleague made the move. And that will be a big mess for everyone.

Do you think if you left you'd still be in touch ?

No

So you think you're OK as you haven't done anything, but you've got some major limerance and even staying in a crap job in the hope that he makes a move.
The only reason you haven't done anything is because he hasn't made a move yet. Let's hope he doesn't. It's hard to tell if this is reciprocated, or all in your head in which case nothing will happen, so it's just for you to get over.

Just find another job, hanging out for him will get you nowhere, except maybe divorced.

It's just a crush OP. It happens. No need to leave. It will fade

The job isn't good for my career

This is a fucking brilliant reason to look for another job.

Don't let the crush get to you. It's not exactly unusual for someone dealing with the boredom and mundanity of small children and feeling limited in a job role to have daydreams of something exciting happening to them.

Daydreaming about a bit of excitement does not mean that you don't love your husband. Fantasies can hold a powerful sway but they are thoughts, as insubstantial and changeable as the wind. They're not acts or facts.

Do something different or go somewhere different with your family this weekend. Look for a new job. You sound bored and miserable.

Jesus Christ.

If you want an ego boost or some attention download tinder. Get a few "swipes" or "matches". Job done. Yay you, you've still got it. Then delete & continue with the daily grind & stop acting ridiculous!

Cmon who would do that.

I would suggest that a lot of us are attracted to men we work with.

It's natural.

We are around these men all day.

I find them attractive. I wouldn't do anything about it or even flirt with them as most of them are in relationships.

But it's normal to feel like you are attracted to one or more male Co workers. We are human

You'll get over it. Unless he's your line manager and you have to spend a lot of time together what's the big deal.

Do you think you're the only woman who's attracted to men in her workplace?

My female colleague (late fifties, married) just commented to me how good looking one of our delivery drivers is. He is.

It's harmless. You can admire from afar

You need to distance yourself. You're fantasising about something that won't and can't happen. If you can't mentally switch off from it then yes you need to physically remove yourself.

Why did you ask if your colleague will make a move theb if you're committed to your husband?

To the op who said we all have found a work colleague dishy or something to this effect, there is thinking hm he's a bit of a hunk pep to your day and then there is affair inducing, crippling crush type of attraction. Even if you don't act on it, limerence can be very destructive. Reading between the lines it must be beyond just thinking he is attractive if it's making her write a thread online about it and consider leaving work then it's beyond just oh he's handsome.

You want an affair. Having one in itself is breaking to commitment you made in your marriage vows. Better to leave with dignity than cheat.

This. Look now and only leave once you've secured another job.

Cringe 😬

Imagine. This could be one of our DHs that op is mooning over

It sounds to me like the OP is asking not because she wants to save her marriage but she wants to move jobs so that it opens up a possibility for the colleague to make a move. In my whole life, I’ve never seen this scenario play out well. One of my colleagues did indeed leave his wife and two small kids for another colleague to have a baby with her. The ex wife is very bitter and rightly so and life doesn’t sound pleasant for the female colleague he’s left his wife for. Why bother with so much baggage and destroy so many lives.

What is your plan if he does make a move?

Let's hope he doesn't make a move you idiot what with you being married.

What's his name?

You're having a crush.

Like in your teenage years, it will be furious but fast. Use the energy burning inside you to boost your career and let your husband benefit from all the sexy feelings. Plan with him a romantic getaway.

Once the fizz has deflated take a long hard look at what you were trying to invigorate.

Ask yourself OP how would you feel if your DH had the same feelings you’ve got for your work colleague for one of his work colleagues
I work with Male colleagues and I have never looked twice at any of the men because I have my DH at home it sounds like you need to work on your marriage and not the distraction. Good luck OP

Grow up.

This!
you sound a bit obsessed with this guy - please look for another job!
before a) you destroy two families or b) you make a total twat of yourself