Looking for advice I suppose. Don't really know where to start. Currently on holiday with DH and 2 kids.
DH generally grumpy/irritable, not all the time, has a good sense of humour and can be upbeat when it suits him but like at entertainment at hotel I have chatted to other families at the entertainment/by the pool and he just sits there with his head in a book/earphones on or wearing these sunglasses that play music/audio books. When I say something he tuts/sighs and pulls out the ear pods. Basically I am always competing with devices. At home he is in meetings online (fine) but in evenings few times a week is online gaming. Basically every time I knock on office door he's telling me he has to go on a call and to hurry up whatever I want to say.
He has a high powered job and it's well paid. I work part time. We pool all our money just keeping some 'fun' money each.
Anyway on this holiday things seem to be deteriorating. He is gaslighting me all the time. He seems to bizarrely be trying to spin a narrative to the kids that I am drinking. Last night I lifted my daughters teddy to give to her in bed, there was an ear pod under it that I didn't realise was there and fell on the floor. He started huffing and puffing and swearing and saying if I wasn't drunk I wouldn't have knocked it over. I drank a glass and a half of wine. I am not a drinker. I drink maybe once every 2 months and I am such a lightweight it's a running joke with my friends! I can only handle 2 glasses of wine and I don't drink anything else.
A few nights ago at the entertainment I was enjoying myself singing along with the entertainment. He told the kids 'this is what Mummy is like after 4 glasses of wine'. I had nowhere near 4 glasses of wine, if I did I wouldn't be able to walk.
Last night I was arguing with him over text that do not accuse me of being drunk in front of my children. He is replying stuff like 'our' children. And insisting I am drunk but he didn't call me that and that I called him that. I didn't.
He is bare faced lying now when he would never have been a liar before.
I'm concerned now he is trying to twist things to build a case against me down the road. He told me recently during a conversation about a friend who is divorcing and her husband has to pay maintenance. He said that wouldn't be him and he would just 'leave the jurisdiction'. I said that would mean leaving your children.
I'm concerned his personality is changing. Sex life isn't great but hasn't been since 1st child due to 'catastrophic' injuries during his birth, it hasn't been an issue really as it wasn't my fault and he understood that.
What advice do you all have? He hasn't apologised since last night. I am communicating here today with him functionally, as in if he asks do I have the suncream, I'll answer etc
I am a good Mother, my youngest has additional needs and psychologist recently told me she's lucky as I go above and beyond.
He isn't a great Dad, not the worst bit has little patience with them and clashes hugely with my eldest.
If you've read this far you deserve a medal! 😂 thank you and sorry for the rambling post 🙈