Ghosted for weeks. Do I offer to pay?

[Deepcalm]

I would like some advice please. I have dabbled in online dating this year but I haven’t really been taking it seriously. I met a man for a dog walk. We got on pretty well. He asked to meet up with me again which I agreed. However, he said he had a lot of dates lined up which didn’t bother me one way or another. He text me a few times after walk (very low intensity from both sides) then ghosted me for about 2-3 months. A week ago he sent me a couple of messages that didn’t require an answer so I didn’t reply as I just didn’t yet round to it. Yesterday he told me he had tickets to a group I liked ( he has no idea I like the group as we didn’t discuss music on our walk) and asked me to accompany him to a concert which is in about a week. I agreed to go and I’m really looking forward to it. I assume he’s been let down by someone he is dating. The question is do I offer to pay for the ticket or not, bearing in mind a) He ghosted me b) I’m obviously a last minute, replacement invite?

The tickets are £100- £150 each

If I wanted to see that group then I would offer to pay.

However, I don't think i'd enjoy being in the company of someone who had ignored me.

He's obviously broken up with whoever he was ghosting you for and is trying to recooup some of his expense.

Actually, nah, I wouldn't even go.

I find this a really difficult one, I would probably auto offer to pay or at least suggest I get dinner beforehand just out of what I perceive as manners but tbh you didn't choose the date, the seats, the venue and he asked because otherwise he would still be paying the £300 anyway ... Perhaps not?

I’m surprised you agreed to go to the concert with him, as he ghosted you some time ago. However, when you say “ghosted” do you mean he vanished and blocked you, or did he just not contact you any further?

However it might be best to ask him how much you owe him for the ticket, just so you have a clear picture. It then gives him the chance to say it’s his treat, or not.

I agree. He'll push you for some form of payment...

I wouldn't go, not after treating me so badly.

If you do choose to go, make sure you pay for the tickets. I agree with PP, he may see that as you 'owing' him something.

To be honest at this point I'd be saying, he's treating me to this, he doesn't know I love the band, I'm giving him a second chance to make up for the ghosting. And yes, I'm clearly a replacement so doing him a favour.
So no I wouldn't pay. If it went well I'd offer to buy him dinner afterwards or next time though.
If it didn't then you got to see the band you liked and never have to speak to him again.

Just ask him, how much? Then you'll know.

Say you'll give him cash for the ticket when you meet him there on the night of the concert.

I'm guessing he'll ask you to transfer the money in advance, and then ghost you again after you've paid him. That's what the cynic in me thinks, anyway!

Did he ghost you or did you both just stop messaging, or perhaps he didn’t get around to replying to you for a while (like you to him, albeit a shorter timeframe)?

If you want to go to the concert, then go. I would pay for the tickets. You already know you aren’t a priority to him and he isn’t interested so you don’t want to end up in a situation where he thinks you should pay by having sex.

Have some self respect and cancel this date. He's treated you really badly and you deserve better

No, I would not go and would block this man. Why would you ever want to date someone that openly admits you are one of many!

I would have asked before agreeing "how much are the tickets?". I'd still offer, I don't really assume anyone pays for my tickets
Especially if it is something I want to see. Even if ghosted previously.

I’d go if I wanted to see the band, and offer to buy dinner beforehand, or another day as a thank you.
It wouldn’t bother me that he’d not been messaging after one walk when he said he was busy, I’d have struggled to keep conversation going over that period.

If you wanted some sort of revenge arrange to meet at the concert then don't show. Too late to fill the empty place.... Shame that. Then block.

I’d only go if I really wanted to see the band. I certainly wouldn’t have any expectations of the relationship, because he’s clearly shown he’s flakey, or not that into you, or both. And I would definitely offer to pay. But if I wasn’t keen enough on the band to pay the money, I wouldn’t go at all.

Sounds more like you ghosted him when he sent a few nessages and didn't get round to replying? I'd offer to pay if wanted to go

Yes I think you should pay. Him disappearing is a different issue.

No. He's told you who he is.

If you go, you'll be back in two months having taken things further and been treated badly again.

I’d go if it cost £15 for a ticket but not £150!

Also beware what another poster said, don’t give him the money in advance in case he doesn’t turn up!

He ghosted her for 3 months and only sent those messages a few days ago. He’s probably been let down by someone else and is clutching at straws trying to find a woman he’s already pissed around who’s stupid enough to agree to going with him. He’s clearly not interested in a relationship with the op, so he’ll probably be expecting a shag after this

When I say ‘ghosted’ I mean we stopped messaging and I really wasn’t bothered as he had been honest, saying he was seeing others ( as I was too ). I know he wants to travel and as I have commitments, so I’m unable to fit into the lifestyle he wants, so I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t hear from him.
I don’t view this as a date, I see it as an opportunity to see a group I’ve liked for years. I’m not transferring any money before the concert in case it doesn’t materialise. I don’t think he’s a scammer though as he’s local and he’s affluent and I know where he lives