Is it women, drugs, money? What subject is it?
OK. I don't know tbh. Out of the three of those, it would only be women. He doesn't take drugs (no evidence at all), and he's very open financially (well, as far as i know!).
Last night's was this. I'm sorry I'm going to have to give so much detail to nonsense tbh! But it's necessary to illustrate how stupid it was.
We met in the pub after work.
Our phones are always face up on the table. He has loud notifications but one didn't go off and I don't know if there was a WA icon because I don't watch his phone.
Anyway, as we stood up to go to the bar, he opened WhatsApp. The top three messages were from his ex wife; my brother (in a group chat we have) and me. I had messaged him half an hour earlier to tell him I was in the pub; my brother had messaged the group chat about 5 mins earlier because his notification sounded and I received it too. His ex wife had messaged within the last 5 mins.
She had messaged to ask if he could remember the name of a place they'd visited years ago (they divorced in 2012).
I have no idea how often they are in contact. I don't really care. She messages a lot and he sometimes replies (although this might also not be true now). They're in more contact at the moment because she's put the marital home on the market (she continued to live there with the children and one is still at home but is moving out so they're selling up). I want to make it clear that I have no problem with this, no issue when he's had to go round to sort house stuff. I have no idea about the nature of these conversations or how often they occur. I also have an ex husband. Sometimes contact is necessary.
But then he said by way of explanation (although none was necessary because I'd stood, waited for him to read his message and said absolutely nothing), "Oh, it's just X." She sent a message 3 days ago and I've only just seen it.
This being the first opportunity I've ever had to call him out on an obvious lie, I said, "No, she sent it now. It's at the top."
He repeated, "She sent it three days ago. But I've only just read it."
I asked him why he was lying to me because l could see it was at the top of the list.
He said he must have got confused. He didn't know when she had sent it because he's muted her notifications (which explained why none had sounded).
I was a bit irritated by the blatant lie at this point and so repeated, 'It was sent in the last 5 mins because my brother messaged you 5 mins ago. Why are you lyjng to me?"
He again denied that he was lying.
I said it was pointless talking to him about anything if he was just going to lie to me. This was about 5.30pm yesterday and we've barely spoken since. I spent the evening in the garden reading.
I'm not at all bothered about his ex wife.
I don't care that she messaged him to ask him the name of a place they went to 25 years ago. I don't care that she messaged when he was with me. I wasn't questioning why his ex wife was messaging but what does bother me is that it was such a completely unnecessary, pointless and blatant lie that served no purpose.
It just points to a pattern of lying that is so habitual and second nature to him that even when the evidence is there in front of me, he'll still lie about it.
That makes me wonder how much of everything is a lie.