Am I misinterpreting texts from my coworker?

[DearSwan]

this isn’t about a romantic relationship I just didn’t know what topic to put it under!

so my coworker who is older than me and married with kids, has recently started adding kisses and 🥰 emojis in our WhatsApp messages (for reference we whatsapp only about work projects as we’re in different departments and he doesn’t use email, we don’t WhatsApp about our personal lives etc).

I’ve worked with him for 3 years but only in the last couple of weeks he’s started doing this. In person he acts totally normal, no different to how he was before, he’s a really nice guy, never made any inappropriate comments etc. At first I wondered if these additions to his messages were some sort of attempt at being flirty? But then I was in his office the other day and he mentioned his wife which to me is a very “I’m taken and I’m making you aware of that” thing, like if he was trying to flirt with me on text wouldn’t your wife be the last thing you’d bring up in any convo?

im just a bit confused as to where this new WhatsApp vibe has come from and I can’t tell if he’s just being overly friendly or if he’s trying to be flirtatious and it’s too awkward to ask him obviously. I know I definitely don’t send my coworkers 🥰 emojis and kisses. Am I overthinking this?

Stupid question, if you're just messaging about projects how does that smiley heart emoji fit in the context of the message?

So I’ll say “are you able to complete XYZ by Wednesday” and he’ll say something like “yes no problem 🥰”

If he's just the same as ever in person and there is no vibe between you, I'd just ignore the emojis and kisses. There's an outside chance it's habit and he communicates with his wife like this. Just be professional with your replies and he might stop doing it in a while.

Maybe it is his way of texting. I am guiltty of sending hearts to messages I like.

And for the wife thing, if he likes you romantically he may be setting expectations. Like it is ok to have casual office fling but he is not in for a full blown relationship.

He acts normal in person but it’s in an office full of people so in a way I don’t actually think he would flirt with me openly because other people would see and be like wtf

Hrm that is odd that's for sure. What's the age difference?

i bet he doesn’t send texts with all hearts and kisses to his male colleagues though

I would say he’s setting the stage.
Co workers who’ve sent me love hearts and kisses have only done it once and followed it up with a ‘Sorry! I was texting with my wife and got carried away with the kisses! My bad’ sort of thing. Never happens or comes up again.

My former boss talked a lot about his wife, up until he left her for a co worker.

Here’s what I have learned observing this kind of stuff happening at work in my 34 years of being an adult: Good guys don’t dump their wives for the work crush. You don’t want a guy who’s willing to discard everything he’s invested in for a brand new vagina. Blunt enough? It shows you his value system and it’s not a good one. What they do for you they will do to you. It’s not always true but more often, that saying rears its head.

I’m warning you because I’ve seen this movie before. And my worry is, you’re at the onset of being manipulated.

I'd be tempted to need to forward some of his emails to other co-workers or to cc them into your chats.

Ask him bluntly
John, what’s with all the emojis, you’re not a teenager.’

Oh that's weird!!

I am an over user of emoji at work. For me thumbs up = message received/ I will do this. Hearts = I like this. That love emoji with the hearts = thanks a lot / I appreciate you as a person. If a colleague of either gender said "sent you the files" I'd love heart it. If they said "you smashed that presentation" I'd do the face with hearts.

But even I think that he's using them weirdly. How old is he? Maybe he's trying it but he's completely misjudged the vibe.

I bet that too!

Oh God. If you had written this last year I would have assumed you were the woman my husband became infatuated with at work 🙄

He's testing you, seeing if you will respond. Ignore, ignore, ignore. It won't end well for you if you engage.

Does he understand what the emoji mean?
A few years ago I signed off a message to my boss with xx, I meant fingers crossed but apparently it meant kiss kiss. Luckily my boss had no problem asking me why I signed it with kisses, I have just about gotten over the mortification now 6 years later!!

Omg how funny! I think adding kisses isn’t too much of a biggie.. it’s the 🥰 emoji, does he mean it in a flirty way? Or is it just a really friendly emoji? I personally wouldn’t send a coworker that emoji especially not a male colleague, but he’s in his late 40s/early 50s so maybe he thinks it’s harmless?

Sorry about your hubs! I think it’s too easy to get interested by coworkers especially being around them 5 days a week all day… was he sending his colleague heart emojis? Do you mind me asking how old he is because my coworker is late 40s/early 50s I’m just not sure his exact age. I’m thinking maybe at his age these emojis are just friendly and he doesn’t think anything more of it

I think he mentioned his wife so that you know he’s married, then if you flirt back with hearts you’re happy to be the other woman.

Maybe he doesn’t get what the emoji actually means. That’s happened to a few of us before, surly.

Love hearts all over a face surely can’t be mistaken.

Yes, mid 40s and he used heart emojis and heart reactions to comments. Never did that with me either. It was very deliberate. 😡

Bloody men.

This.

Indeed. And it’s unprofessional.
I’d just ask him to stop with the kiss emojis and x at the end of messages because you find it rather strange and it makes you uncomfortable.
If he acts all offended that’s his problem.

You could ask him what his knowledge on emojis are ?

Lots of slightly older people used LOL thinking it meant lots of love 😀

I don't really use emojis and it just looks like a super happy face to me.

It might be nefarious or it might be something he's seen and not realised how other people will interpret it. I certainly know people who've made that mistake with other emojis.