I’m getting to the end of my tether. For context, I run my own business, main breadwinner, do all cooking, cleaning, most kids stuff. Admittedly DH does some school runs and stuff in the garden, but 9/10 it’s on his terms. We both work at a different pace, I rarely sit down and always doing things with the kids or house, whereas he always says he needs to relax. He finishes work far earlier than me and gets lots of holiday. I still do the above when he’s on holiday.
so with the background of all this, we come on to his drinking. When the kids were younger, he’d drink - a lot in my opinion, so I stopped even having one so that at least one of us was responsible. We have had more instances than I’d care to remember of him, in his forties, wetting the bed or vomiting all over the house. Even on holiday, after the kids asked him to stop drinking, he carries on and gets in such a state that I’m up all night cleaning up sick, so the kids don’t see anything the next day. Then of course covering for him, when he’s incapable of movement the next day. He plans his drinking schedule a week in advance, eg, can you drive here or do this, so I can have some beers. Which I understand is ok, but given his inability to switch off, feels like he prioritises drinking over anything. I guess I’m bitter, fed up of the shit I get when he is drunk, fed up of lying next to a man that stinks of beer…. Really unattractive and fed up of not being able to have a few myself for fear that he’ll be unable to control himself.
I don’t feel like this is normal behaviour for a man with kids? Or is it? All he says is, stop moaning at me, I need not to be controlled sometimes and let my hair down. To be clear, I control nothing. Everything I do is around him and the kids, if there’s ever a problem, I fix it - he wouldn’t think to. Eg, his back card blocked the washing machine and I was up fixing it, while he went to bed. He was tired. How to get him to see my point of view without having it all thrown back in my face? I don’t like the drinking and I don’t like the repercussions from his benders. Admittedly not super often when it gets really bad, but often enough. Am I just being really judgey? I’d say he has 6 large cans of beer Thursday-Sunday evenings on an average week and pub one night a week at least. Now the summers coming and football on, there’s even more excuse. I’m staying for the kids, but deep down, I don’t want to live like this. Is it me? I’d love someone to give me some perspective