My husband doesn't like when I wear nice clothes

[whsm17]

I wore a flare trouser and a top that was not revealing at all , it was black and white and I was feeling good got ready to go grocery and he told me to cover up ... I asked what ? He said cover your chest ... I am size c and not even my bra was showing , anyways I wore what I do always when he doesn't like my clothes , a sweatpants and gym hoodie. And it's been 6 hrs It's still bothering me . That was the top .

Sorry did you change? It is none of his business. By changing you are confirming that this behaviour is OK. It obviously is not.

"anyways I wore what I do always when he doesn't like my clothes , a sweatpants and gym hoodie"

Seriously? You actually changed your clothes? Thats not a healthy dynamic.

Tell him fuck off I’ll wear what I want. Then continue to wear the clothing you already have on. His opinion means nothing

Telling a partner what they can and can't wear is deemed as coercive control.. are there any other aspects of your life he dictates? What would have happened if you hadn't changed?

So either he's controlling or he's trying to make you feel bad when you look good...which, is technically also controlling.

I'd bet it's not the first time he's displayed abusive tendencies.

What other red flags have you noticed with his behaviour?

Eg...similar might include ruining special occasions...canceling things you look forwards to at the last minute...never complimenting you but quick to criticise...making you feel.you can't do anything right...accusing you of flirting with other men etc...

Why did you change!?

‘Cover your chest’ would get a 2 word answer from me.

Your husband is behaving like a controlling arse. He probably IS a controlling arse tbf.

Well he can f**k right off. No-one gets to tell you what you can and cannot wear. Apologies for the bad language but this kind of thing makes me very angry.

Control control control control - massive red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Out of interest, what did you fear would happen if you didn't change?

He would sulk (coercive control), he would get angry (abuse) he would make out you were cheating (abuse) ?

You are changing (literally) to tip toe about him for some reason. That's not ok. You should not have to do that in a marriage.

That's not normal behaviour in a relationship, as others have said it's coercive/controlling behaviour and unless he's disabused of the notion that he can dictate what you wear it'll only get worse.

Why did you change. Do you always change when he says this. Are you afraid of what he will do if you refuse to change.

He never took me anywhere in 14 years , just always criticism over my looks kills me , I'm confident I feel beautiful and he keep telling me off . I never wore inappropriate clothing but noticed him checking out women and I want to look like ones he attracted to I want to kill him right now coz I'm hungry I have periods and I'm sad that he does all the times

Why do you accept it. You know full well he does if when he thinks you look attractive. He wants you to look frumpy and unattractive in public. Why do you go and change. Why is he in charge of what you wear?

He would keep telling me to change and cover up... I wore a blazer on top too coz I had fear that he would say the sleeves are short

If my husband told me to cover my chest he'd never see my tits again.

I know my DH doesn't like leggings but he would never tell me what to wear, so I wear what I like and don't care what he thinks

Are you in the UK? If so he's living in the wrong culture, tell him he'd be better off somewhere like Saudi Arabia - and that he can go there alone !

He has a problem with short sleeves? You say he doesn't take you anywhere. Does he need to chaperone you? Are you allowed out without him?

Is there a culture issue here OP?

Tell him that his actions are coercive control, they are a criminal offence, and you have no intention of taking any notice.

He doesn't want you to feel confident. He doesn't want you to be admired by others. He wants to undermine you, to take away your confidence, make you think you need him, put him in control.
My df did that to my dm for 42 years. She started out as a beautiful outgoing confident lady and ended up scared of her own shadow. Don't let him do the same to you.

Your partner is a nasty piece of work.

Ok so, you know you can leave him right?

Hanging about being sad or mad isn't going to change your life.

He is who he is.
Ams that's an asshole.

Stop spending your life changing yourself thinking it'll change him. It won't. You'll just lose yourself.

Time to start taking practical steps to leave him.

Life is too short to spend with assholes.
Now you know, time to go.

I guess I do same now . Thanks for the comment

As an adult, you are the one who has total control over what you want to wear. Anyone who takes this control away from you is abusive.

He gets offensive if I get compliments, even by old women

Coz I'm a stupid emotional woman ...