My husband doesn't like when I wear nice clothes

[whsm17]

I wore a flare trouser and a top that was not revealing at all , it was black and white and I was feeling good got ready to go grocery and he told me to cover up ... I asked what ? He said cover your chest ... I am size c and not even my bra was showing , anyways I wore what I do always when he doesn't like my clothes , a sweatpants and gym hoodie. And it's been 6 hrs It's still bothering me . That was the top .

OP you know this isn’t right. Would you want your daughter to grow up in fear of what she wears, or your son to treat his girlfriend like this? That’s what they’re seeing. You can change this.

How many kids, OP? How old are they? Are they his?

Do you have family that can take you in the kids in?

Do you work or have your own income?

What are the factors that are actively preventing you from leaving?.

Do not stay with him just because or for the supposed sake of the children. It will not do them any favours at all to see you as their mother being controlled and thus abused by their dad. They could also well copy this in their own adult relationships.

My exH was like this. Would have full-on strop if he thought I looked too attractive. I am very glad he is behind me but it takes its toll and it's hard to shake off. I'm lucky to be with someone now who actively encourages me to wear whatever I want and feel good in. Just know that this isn't normal and it isn't something you have to put up with ❤️

Something very wrong here.
Cannot imagine my (significantly older)
husband behaving like this. 🚩*🏁

@Enzee11

wear what you want OP. Fuck him.
it really is that simple.

Oh tell him to shut up or ship out.

Stupid man.

Work on leaving op.

Tough, you can wear what you wish. Next time he says something, say I like it and I’m going to wear it.

I wear nice clothes most of the time, because I like the way I feel in them. Same with having my hair and brows done regularly and occasionally a mani/pedi.

Your husband is a loser.

Get angry and bin him off.
Life is too short for all that shit, don’t live to regret staying with him any longer.

First, that top is not revealing at all.

Second, even if it was, he has no right to dictate what you can and cannot wear. Even if you wanted to go out in a skimpy crop top. He sounds pathetic.

I am a house wife with a kid high school age and second only 7 yo

I'm hopeless , I feel like a trash knowing I'm not a trash he made food after knowing I was hurt and now snoring peacefully... and I m the one feeling like shit

I am a housewife , with no life at all , not financially stable , I know it will not sound good when I thi k of leaving I know I will not be able to survive or provide well to my kids

It’s not up to him. It’s the clothes that you choose to wear on your body. I think you should tell him this.

You can do little steps. You don’t have to pack up and leave this second. Push back on the clothes issue and don’t back down - see how he responds to the change in dynamic, but don’t back down. It’s carving out a bit of independence for yourself - autonomy over your body and what you choose to clothe it in.

Go to Citizens Advice and they'll tell you what benefits you can.get.

You should get - universal credit - housing part and regular part, universal credit for children, child benefit, council tax discount, free school meals, school uniform money, and if you work any hours (which you can do on universal credit up to a certain number of hours before it starts to reduce your benefits) you get 85% of childcare paid.

There are lots and lots and lots of single mothers who live off Universal credit and maybe work the hours they're allowed to work before it starts reducing the UC they get. They manage ok.

Citizens advice or Women's Aid will be able to help you.

He also has to pay child maintenance depending on his many overnights he has the kids.

Only overnights count for reducing how much child maintenance he has to pay.

It starts at 12% of his salary, approx. for one child, I think.

Citizens advice or women's aid will also be able to give you advice on that.

If you divorce (hopefully you are legally married in the UK), you are entitled to 50% of all assets - as a starting point. House, property, savings, pension etc.

Coz I'm a stupid emotional woman ...

Does he call you that??

I'd be emotional too if someone was treating me like he is.

Tell him to fuck off.
You are not showing off your body, you are just making yourself feel better and whatever you do, do not change your clothes.

Why don't you ask him to leave he sounds like a pig, or if you have somewhere to go leave yourself if it's not yours. X

Oh, @Enzee11

I'm so sorry your partner is such loser.

I never, ever told my wife what to wear. That was always her decision. (Mind you, she could have worn a bin bag, I'd still think it looked good)

But joking apart, is he really that insecure/controlling that he's spoiling your life? Because he thinks (wrongly) it makes him look better.

He will continue to drag you down because he's scum.

I'm very confident that there are many, many posters on here who can advise you on how to get rid and actually have a good life. They can advise where to look for the help you obviously need.

No-one ever deserves to have their lives destroyed by insecure fools.

You deserve so much more. Get rid and have a happy life.

Tell him to fuck off. And once he's got there tell him to fuck off some more. Controlling insecure cretin 🚩

Less of the animal slurs. Pigs don't behave like pieces of shit 🙄

Then work towards that. Take a course in something that will help get you a job. This is why we always need to have a plan b.