My husband doesn't like when I wear nice clothes

[whsm17]

I wore a flare trouser and a top that was not revealing at all , it was black and white and I was feeling good got ready to go grocery and he told me to cover up ... I asked what ? He said cover your chest ... I am size c and not even my bra was showing , anyways I wore what I do always when he doesn't like my clothes , a sweatpants and gym hoodie. And it's been 6 hrs It's still bothering me . That was the top .

Sorry @Enzee11 but you worry about sleeves being too short?

Is there a religious/cultural background here that aligns to your beliefs?

If not, I would highly recommend buying some hot pants, a sleeveless crop top and waving goodbye to him wearing it.

You're not. He's an emotionally defunct, jealous, controlling and abusive man who doesn't see you as an equal. He thinks he owns you. He doesn't.

He's so insecure, that if you receive a compliment he has to put you back in your box so you don't even think of leaving him. These are all his issues. All you need to do is to think on whether you want to continue living like this or leave and have the freedom to be yourself.

No religion involved he does not like revealing skin and I try to wear what he likes to look attractive to HIM, but it never happened, I try to feel feminine and heal and feel better about myself also considering him but I alws get hurt .

Extremely controlling. Never heard of a man concerned about his wife showing too much arm.

Have you ever been on a beach holiday with him? If so, were you 'allowed' to wear a bikini/swimsuit?

It's not on.

I am allowed to be out without him , and I sometimes feel like a teenager hiding my clothes that aren't even wrong when leave the house .

I have left him emotionally long ago , 7 years ago

I am not a believer in women or men wearing very little. Even if it is hot I don’t want to see shirtless men walking around for example.

That top looks very modest. It does cover your chest and the neckline is high.

No skin at all, even lower arms in summer? That’s not normal for this country. If it is not reasonable then his attitude is not your problem.

Do you have children???? Hope not yet and you can still escape this madness…

Unless this is all because you are both from
some really conservative culture where this is accepted as a norm - this is NOT normal otherwise. Also - not acceptable.

What would you like to do OP?

Wow! I quite get when my OH comments about how sloppy I dress (jeans, tshirt, hoody) compared to him (slacks, nice blazer, polished shoes) because frankly I don't really notice. But if he told me to cover up or don't wear a shirt with a rude word on it I would be telling him to butter off.

It is about time you left him physically as well.

He is controlling and abusive. He does not have the right to tell you what to do or how to dress.

☹️ you're not stupid. His behavior is disgusting!

Walk away... today just walk away.

Who the hell does he think he is?! Have you tried telling him to fuck off back to the 1950s? It's probably too late for that tbh. You need to leave him. In the meantime, tell him that you will wear whatever you like and you don't care what he thinks. I bet you won't though

OP, do you have dc with this man? Are you financially or otherwise dependent on him?

You know where this is headed.

Could you leave him physically too? He sounds like an extremely jealous man, I would feel emotional in your shoes too. Do you have friends that you can speak to?

Same!!!

Do you realise you are in an abusive relationship op?

He's a controlling fuck wit. Get out of this and find a man who values you and doesn't see you as a reflection of him.

Why the hell did you not tell him to piss off and stop criticising what you are wearing? It's not up to him what you wear!

You can't heal a wound with the knife still in it.

Remove the knife (him) and then you will start to heal.

Even more reason to get out if you have kids.
So they don't grow up thinking its OK for men to treat partners like this and that women should stay anyway.

Run.

"I have left him emotionally long ago , 7 years ago"

You absolutely need to leave him physically as well. How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?.

Are there children involved?.

Would you be willing to contact Womens Aid here and have a chat with them?.

Unfortunately SoEmbarrassed its not as straight forward as all that. Controlling behaviour like described creeps up over time. I would assume he is controlling her in other ways too - perhaps financially also. Fear of him, fear of the unknown, the kids, financial concerns are also four of many other reasons why the abusers chosen target feels unable to readily leave. Swearing at him is not going to stop him and his control of the OP.

I haven't read the whole thread, but this makes me so sad. I hope you leave him and live a happy life with or without another person who doesn't deserve you and brings you down constantly, to suit his own inadequacies. In the meantime, maybe add some earplugs to your leaving home outfits and just keep going!

We have kids , And I'm from a family where there was no restrictions for women , I wore everything trendy that was in fashion and appropriate and classy . And I lost that with him , I'm just trying to feel like a woman that I didn't feel for very long .

If it was 1950 , he would say , cover up coz it's too tight .