Would you meet up with an ex who said this...

[Nanya81]

I've been made aware through a mutual friend that my ex is considering getting in contact to ask if I'd like to meet for a coffee now that time has passed. We broke up 2.5 years ago after more than five years together, when he discarded me out of the blue, telling me he'd never been in love with me, ever, but knew I was in love with him, and some other cold words.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard this. I don't know what he wants, but I really still don't want any contact, even though I'm long over him now. I know people say you can become friends with an ex after time has passed, but I really don't want this. Am I being reasonable or not?

No, keep your dignity intact and let your mutual friend know you have absolutely no interest in meeting up.

It's quite low to send someone else in to test the water with someone you've treated so abominably. He's a coward and you deserve better.

And watch the mutual friend isn't shit stirring.

This thought crossed my mind too.

Thanks everyone for the reassurance that I'm not being petty. I know everyone is entitled to end a relationship but he was cowardly and cold in how he went about it, so I'm going to remain no contact if/ when I hear from him

I'm glad you've decided this.

but I really don't want this

Is the only thing that matters. You don't have to reply to him or meet him.for coffee just because he wants to. What you want matters too. And moreso.

it's not petty.its entirely reasonable.

No, I'd have nothing more to do with him. He's made his bed. Keep your dignity. Glad to hear your in a good place now... keep it that way

What an absolute asshole. Stay away op.

He's a crap human being. Why would you want to meet with him?

Don't do it OP. He's at a loose end and looking for a posterity bonk.

Tell your friend to pass on your lack of interest, or just ignore him.

He's trying to get you back so he can do the same thing to you again. He sounds emotionally sadistic. He's bored and looking for a toy to play with, which he will cruelly discard when he tires of it.

You are never under any obligation to try to be friends with an ex. Don't let people push you into something which is not good for you.

They are not always single either!

Don’t see him. Just don’t. I’m a huge advocate of being friends with your ex (and am with several) but that’s because we were either teens or both drifted. Someone who was an arse when dumping you doesn’t get to move into friend territory.

You owe him nothing.

Don't go if it won't be good for you.

I'd be curious and want to show up looking great and then reject him. But if you might fe feelings and want to try again then say no.

"after more than five years together, when he discarded me out of the blue, telling me he'd never been in love with me, ever, but knew I was in love with him"
What a massive prat, good grief if he was made of chocolate he'd eat himself.

I'd tell the mutual friend something like " no, although I'm not averse to staying friends with exes in principle, he turned out to be pretty egotistical, a let down and just not a very nice person so I wouldn't really want or need a friend like that, male or female." You could also add that although you used to fancy him, that was before you knew how big headed, vicious and careless of other people's feelings he could be and that is soooo unattractive and leaves an indelible ick factor, so he would not be viable as an old-times-sake shag either as your skin would be crawling thinking about it.
Basically, due to his behaviour he is unlikeable and unshaggable now so has neither use nor ornament to you.

Don't do it. My ex said a very similar thing to me and they just aren't worth even a moment of your time.

The man's a prick, if he contacts you tell him to fuck off, I've never really liked you just stayed with you out of habit until someone better came along. X

Thank you. Yes, he did have a high opinion of himself. As I said before, everyone is entitled to end a relationship but there's a respectful way of doing it, in my opinion, not leaving the other person feeling used.

The general consensus is to avoid - which I will be doing

That’s my new favourite saying 😆

You don’t need to be nice to people who treated you badly. I’d just respond to the friend, ‘No, I’d rather let sleeping dogs lie, and TBH I can’t be arsed’.

His high opinion of himself seems to think you'd be grateful for his amazing invitation, ready to bask in his wonderful presence.
Don't give him that satisfaction at all.

I used to be 'nice' to everyone at one stage, even those who took advantage of me, but not any more!

So I've just received the email late last night, saying he's thought of me a lot, hopes I'm doing okay now, just wanted to reach out, but not actually asking to meet up.

Should I reply or ignore? My heart is racing! I'm long over him but, silly as it may seem after time has passed, I don't want him as a 'friend'.

Ignore! He's looking for an ego boost.

'Reach out' WTF does he think he is??

'I didn't need you then & I don't need you 'reaching out' now. Please take your reaching elsewhere!'

twat

I would bin anyone just for using the phrase “reaching out”. You CONTACT someone you don’t fecking “reach out”. Rant over. He wants a pity shag - say no for your own self esteem.

Just totally ignore it and feel gratified in doing so. He will absolutely be thinking you’ll jump at the chance to connect. So disappoint the egotistical fucker.