How often do you leave the house? Worried I’m a recluse

[Cantabulous]

I’m divorced, 62, with three adult DC, a dog and a DP I see four times a week, at my house. I’ve worked from home, effectively full-time (self-employed), for 25 years. I’m pretty healthy and happy, leaving aside the usual worrying about DC, but I’ve realised that I’ve sunk into a habit of basically only leaving the house to walk the dog, go to the gym or go to the corner shop. I see friends for a walk or coffee about five or six times a month, and visit my DC maybe once a month on average ( for a few days as they live some distance away). I travel to big conferences for work two or three times a year, and holiday for about three weeks a year.

should I be going out more? What are other people doing?

How can you be a recluse when you leave the house so often to socialise?

Dunno - I'm 68 and retired and I leave the house less than that. I quite like being at home and had it been possible in my profession would have done just that.

this is a peculiar thread

what do you feel like you should be doing? Are you unhappy?

I think I'd incorporate something cultural in there, but otherwise sounds lovely

Are you happy? If so, what does it matter?

So you're leaving the house presumably every day to walk the dog, you go to the gym regularly (3 times/week?), meet with friends a couple of times a week, see your partner every other day and visit your children overnight every few weeks? Do you know what the word recluse means?
recluse
/rɪˈkluːs/

noun

1. a person who lives a solitary life and tends to avoid other people.

A recluse is a person who lives alone and avoids going outside or talking to other people.

Other than living alone, you really don't fit the definition. Carry on enjoying the life you have and don't second-guess yourself.

should I be going out more? What are other people doing?

There aren't any 'shoulds' about it, OP. You do what you're happy with, and if you're happy with how much you go out or stay in what other people do is irrelevant.

It sounds fine if you're happy, but if you are feeling like everything is a bit repetitive and samey, you could easily change the pattern so you and your DP go out instead of always just going to your house. You could suggest to your friends that instead of going for a walk/coffee you could go somewhere new and do something different. I think it is normal and healthy to be open to new people and places and activities - the day you stop being interested in new stuff is the day you quietly stop living in my opinion.

How often do you leave the house? If you leave it 3 times per day to walk the dog, once to go to a corner shop and once to a gym it sounds plenty

I get where you’re coming from, as I’m in a similar position, but no DP or dog. Regular gym goer and weekly walks with a couple of friends and feel I could have more of a social life.

I think we get to the stage where we wonder if there should be more to life. I try to take advantage of opportunities as they arise to do things eg random activities (tried aerial yoga, getting a tattoo), through charity work, where I volunteer (doing a filming day in a couple of months), go to concerts and take holidays abroad.

Maybe make a list of things that you’d like to do, either on your own, or with your DP.

Random thoughts
Do other people call you?
Friends phone for a chat, invitations to events or days out?
Do you feel restricted by having to look after dog, does it stop you being spontaneous. Have to be home to let dog out kind of thing?
If all contact is one way one might feel that something is missing.

"Leave the house" is pretty broad.
I mean, on Wednesday (a pretty horrendous day!) I will:
Go to work &come home.
Take DS2 to a lesson, and come home with him.
Take DS1 to an evening event. Come home.
Collect DH from the station, and come home.
Collect DS1 from event.

So I leave the house 5 times. But none of it is social.
I'd say you do a lot more stuff for you than I do - probably more in a month than I do in a year. I need to do sonething about a social life. I'm not sure you do (but then I don't live alone).

You're certainly not a recluse. You leave the house every day to walk the dog. You also go to the gym and see your partner and family.
Is there a problem, are you lonely?

Do you and your DP always just stay in?

Sounds like a lovely life to me, OP.

I’m not unhappy, no, but I’m worried that life is passing me by i suppose. A form of FOMO, but is that silly at my age? I feel i should be doing more cultural stuff and meeting more new people i guess. More variety. But then when I think about doing that, I just can’t be bothered!

I think you’re right. More new stuff. Hmmm. I’m feeling a little bit like I’ve seen it all and done it all already though, which can’t actually be true…

Yes this is so odd and suggests a total misunderstanding of what a recluse is perhaps?

That's plenty of getting out of the house. If you feel content than you don't have a problem. 🙂

What? Do recluses leave the house everyday and socialise many times per month?

Yes, this. Words have meaning people 😵‍💫🤦🏾‍♀️

This was my life when my DC were at home, for sure! I guess at that stage I thought ‘well I’ll do loads once I have me time’. But now I just…don’t

Sorry, yes, totally wrong word!

No, I was agreeing with you. To clarify - I was meaning it suggests the OP doesn’t understand what a recluse is.